Beauty and the Beast

[Anne2345]

I see the term "passable" used on this forum frequently. I understand the term, I get it, and I recognize that some of us want to achieve as feminine an appearance as possible when we dress. I include myself in this category. But the fact of the matter is that I am a much better looking man than I am a woman. I will never be "passable." Although I acknowledge this, it does not prevent me from trying to appear as the best looking woman I can. It certainly does not take away from my own personal experience and the fulfillment I enjoy when dressed en femme. And I do take much pride in my ability to transform myself, despite my physical limitations.

But who exactly am I trying to impress? Am I trying to impress anybody at all? I am happily married, and would not do anything to jeopardize my marriage. I am also deeply in the closet. Even if I was not in the closet, I would never be mistaken for anything but a man dressed en femme. So I am clearly not trying to impress others. Am I trying to impress myself? Perhaps. It does bring me great joy, satisfaction, and a sense of "rightness" to look in the mirror, and see not a man, but instead the reflection of a woman. I am not "passable," I am closer to a "beast" than a "beauty," but for some reason, I do not care. I do the best I can, and I love what I do.

Given the frequent usage of the term "passable" on this forum, I am curious. Who are you trying to impress, if anybody, and for what reasons?

[Kathi Lake]

Who am I trying to impress? Me, that's who!

I dress for no one else - for no other reason - than to allow the woman inside of me to be seen, if not clearly, at least just a little bit. I dress as well as I can. I take time and care with my makeup. I endeavor to use feminine mannerisms. I try to show the world just who I am. Does it work? Do I pass? Heck no! Do I or the world care? So far, no.

Kathi

[Leanne2]

Anne,
If you say that you are not passable enough times you might believe it. Thirty years ago I would have said that I was not passable. I would sneak around under the cover of darkness hoping no one would see me. Then as I got older I worried less and less about what others might think of me. Two years ago I realized that I was more than a crossdresser. Now I know that I am a transgender woman and I have a right to present as I am. And guess what? I pass almost 100% of the time now. And if some one "reads" me, I just smile and walk on by with my head held high. It's their problem, not mine. I'm overweight and tall for a woman. So what? Lots of women are tall and overweight. They don't worry about passing. And neither do I. Never say never. Good luck, Leanne

[rachaelsloane]

I had not thought of it as trying to impress myself, but I do my best to look good. We are ultimately dressing because we enjoy it and IMO it doesn't matter whether one is in the closet or out everyday.

[Cynthia Anne]

Anne my friend!! There is no such thing as never! Please delete that word from your vocals! I use to use it and I was wrong! So are you! Your beauty is on the inside and it's leaking out to your outside too! You may not be trying to impress anyone, but it's too late! For you have already impressed me! Now I want to see a big smie on that lovely face of yours! Thats much better! Hugs! Cynthia,

[Daphne Renee]

I dont have really anyone to impress. If I were to go out in femme I would want to present myself as best as I possibly could. Would people know I am a CD probably but I still want to look as good as I can. I guess like the others I want to do it just for me.

[Debra Russell]

It's all about being my femm self. When in the realm of being femm and I pass I am pleased and happy if not, I am still happy but maybe not as pleased -- I do it for me and me only.

[docrobbysherry]

From the very first moment I tried on my first fem clothing item, to the most incredible, rediculous, and convoluted outfits I wear now, there has been only ONE thot constantly comes to mind; "Do I look GOOD?"
My mirror and my pics ALWAYS tell me!

[Tanya C]

I don't know if impress is the right word, but I do find myself dressing for other people, at least in part.
Starting with my dear wife who has been somewhat of a mentor to me, and has given me a lot of valuable assistance in creating a look for Tanya that we both can live with. Whenever I get her approval on an outfit I've put together I feel like a million bucks.
I also dress for other cders with whom I occasionally socialize. It seems like most of the ones I know personally do such a fantastic job on passing and blending that I feel I can't help but learn something valuable from them.
As far as dressing privately goes, I really don't care for that anymore. I like going out and being out, all within appropriate constraints, of course.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I understand and accept that I don't "pass" and never will. I dress because I love the look and feel of the clothes.

Who am i trying to impress? ......hmmmm, no one really - maybe myself from time to time, if only to see how well I can "blend in" whilst out and about at the crowded shopping mall.

Tash

[Marissa]

Who am I trying to impress????? Why you, of course!!!!

And you..and you..and you.. In some way, that holds true as I'm okay with being pleased with my 'passablitily' in appearance when I dress at home alone..but when I dare to escape my confines to venture out to socialize with other girls, I do look for others' acceptance on my appearance..maybe that can be seen as being vain..but more so, its a means to know I'm doing something right..but then again, maybe it just acceptance that others are sharing with me.

Eitherway, I smile at the person in the mirror..because in the end, that is who I do this all for..little ole me and that special one

[Karren H]

I'm not trying to impress anyone including myself.... And so far... I'm doing a pretty damn good job... Lol.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Myself, even though I also do not pass. I'm always out to one up and improve upon my last photo shoot. I don't really have any set limits, it's just attempting to look better and never move backwards in my appearance and look.

[Kate Simmons]

I was never trying to impress anyone. I used CDing as a vehicle to help me look outside the way I felt inside. This was a close approximation.I grew up in a generation where men were men and women were women with no allowance for anything in between. I needed to give myself "permission" to have those feelings by looking the part. Once I grew as a person and accepted who I was, it no longer mattered how I looked as I had validated myself and my feelings and was no longer ashamed or afraid to express them in either mode. I am happy to have both "male" and "female" feelings as that is who I am.

[Danni Renee]

Well, I am not sure I am trying to impress anyone though I certainly enjoy the reaction of my girlfriend when she think I look especially good. I am trying to be as feminine as I can be, not to impress myself, but to try to be as close to what I want to be as possible. It would probably be beneficial if I had some more self esteem (guy or girl mode) but I am what I am.

[Billie Jean]

I too am not trying to impress anyone but myself. As for being passable, I can be but I ain't no sexy little thing. I just like to be me and express the way I feel at the moment. Billie Jean

[msginaadoll]

If I ever tried to impress someone, I sure would fail. I am just me warts and all. I will truly never know if I pass or not, unless I learn to read minds. Since that wont happen, Im just trying to do the best I can with who I am, as well as not be a putz to others.

[PattiMichaels]

I think it's a combination for me. Genetics definitely make it easier in my case. The initial thrill was from simply raiding my Mom's closet as a teen. Then came exploring her make-up drawer. I'll say up front that transforming into Patti gives me a comforting high as well as one hell of a thrill. The more I dressed and explored, the more addictive it became. My low self-esteem as a guy completely disappears as Patti. I dress as much for the peaceful feeling as for the attention it gets me. I dress to impress, and that in turn satisfies me as well.

[Audrey34]

Maybe "passable" is in the eye of the beholder. I don't think I'm passable, but a number of ladies in my support group insist I am. Maybe a lot of it is confidence and how you carry yourself. I'm still working on the confidence part. Both as Audrey and as my male self. But I do have my moments. My avatar pic was taken during a fetish convention last year and I felt so wonderful that my friends insisted on taking a few pix of me.
-Audrey

[NicoleScott]

I have been, and can be, passable: able to go out in public without drawing attention to myself. Dressing and making up modestly and to current fashion trends. Blending in, not hearing "Eeeww, there's a tranny". But that's not what drives me. There is a certain style of makeup and dress that I prefer, and it doesn't pass. I've passed in public and I've stayed home and dressed "my way". There was a compelling pull for me to go out and pass, but having done that, now I get more pleasure and satisfaction by not passing and staying in. Maybe just another way of saying that I dress for myself.

[thechic]

I attempt to be passable not to impress anybody but my self and so i can fit in with the general public,be treated as a woman,and not have to worry about things.like bad comments and stuff.were i live is not TG friendly.I just dont want to draw attention.so i ware current fashions,do the walk and the talk.So i do everything to be as passable as i can.

[tamarav]

[SIZE=4]I think a lot of the girls that have replied have the same feeling I do. I am not out to impress, I am just making myself happy inside. My outward appearance is just what is seen, inside I am totally at ease and love every minute, and yes, I am out and about in public virtually daily. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]All right, all right. I do admit to grinning when I walk into the salon where I work and take a look at the 300 pound 5 foot ladies that I work with, and their 4 dozen donuts. And yes, I am the only one that wears makeup and heels...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]If I impress someone else, that is their thing, not mine.[/SIZE]

[Audrey34]

All right, all right. I do admit to grinning when I walk into the salon where I work and take a look at the 300 pound 5 foot ladies that I work with, and their 4 dozen donuts. And yes, I am the only one that wears makeup and heels...

Oh Tamara, I love that comment! And I do try SO hard to stay away from the doughnuts! LOL! And if I were there with you I too would be wearing makeup and heels...
-Audrey

[Barbara Dugan]

I don't think I am passable and most of the time I dress for myself but being single and unattached I will do my best to impress that special gentleman that I find interesting and attractive

[StarrOfDelite]

I don't think I am passable and most of the time I dress for myself but being single and unattached I will do my best to impress that special gentleman that I find interesting and attractive

This mirrors my feelings almost exactly. Thanks, Barbara, for the pithy eloquence. I would add, however, that I think you underestimate yourself when you assess your passabiity. I think you look very feminine and pretty.