Married, who is and who isn't?

[KatherynKarrde]

Hey, I'm not sure if this has been done before but I see all over the forums that some people are married and have open(by open I mean their SO knows about the CD) relationships while others are married and have closed relationships.

I was just wondering how many of us are married and with what kind of relationship, versus how many of us are single.

I myself have just come out of a 4 year relationship in which I used to dress secretly until a move in which she has found my stuff. I then told her about it but didn't dress for a few months. We broke up about a week ago and since then I have dressed any chance I can get. So I'm single and hoping that when I find someone they will understand from the start because I will be completely honest with them from day 1.

Kate Karrde

[KandisTX]

I am actually on my fourth marriage. Wife number 1 did not know until after we had been married for a year. Wife numbers 2 and 3 knew from the beginning, both of them were accepting and supportive, but wife #2 decided she was going to "fix" me and cure me of my "problem", didn't work though. Wife #4 and I have been married for 9 years 3 months. She has know about my crossdressing since we met almost 16 years ago she has been accepting and supportive ever since we met. Our daughter who is now 15 has known about my crossdressing since she figured it out on her own at age 9 and began asking questions. We felt that if she was mature enough to ask the questions she was mature enough to receive the truth as an answer.

[Jessica86]

From what I've seen, that is the most important thing. Be honest from day one. It's hard, but you wouldn't believe how many women do not really find it to be a bother to them. I am married, and came out to my wife about it. She tells me she had an idea I did, but I don't believe her...lol. Anyway, she is fine with it because I told her, and she didn't find it. She told me that. Bottom line, honesty is required in a relationship. When you bring it to the table, especially something of this caliber, its like giving your relationship a booster shot. It pretty much makes you immune to all the other small things and makes you stronger. You will find someone. Funny thing is, it will probably be the next girl you date. The chances are in your favor.

[DonnaT]

Married since 08/21/75 and open to my wife about CDing, and she's been out with me a few times.

[Joanagreenleaf]

I've always been a married CD. The people I'm attracted to and stay with seem to appreciate the honesty, the hard work at all that we do together, and the open communication everyday. I can't really think of any part of my/our CDing that we don't both agree on. Things like going out, or, staying in... Being involved in different communities, living our own lives, appreciating what we have together. CDing is "an" interest, "a" hobby, "a" passion... But, it's just one thing in our lives, and not the most important thing. I'd say, "That would be her. She'd say, "That would be him."

[juno]

I have been married 26 years, and always honest. For me, things were easier because I didn't cross-dress when I got married, but I did lost of other girly things. So much, in fact, that my new brother-in-law sometimes called my be the female version of my name, and I would just answer nicely in a girl voice.

I think that the best approach is to always be honest, because the dishonesty is worse than anything. Crossdressing is very confusing to many people, and she will never be able to make sense of it if she cannot trust your answers. However, you also don't want to put everything out in the open all at once. Early in a relationship, show your feminine side in less obvious way, but also show that you can be masculine as well. If she likes it, get more adventurous in feminine expression. Go shopping with her and help her pick some girls clothes for herself.

There are MANY women that are attracted to a man that is honest and has a feminine side. You just have to find the ones that are not hung up on conforming to social norms. Be confident. Remember that being some form of transgender is an asset in a relationship, not a burden. You need to be comfortable with who you are in order to present it in a positive way.

[joank]

Married for 45 years. Dress at home with SO. Don't go out with her when dressed.

[Karren H]

Married 35 years.... Kept the secret well hidden for 31... Really wish she had never found out!! I'd have been happy going to my grave a "liar" and a pervert... Since I'm a heathen and don't believe in hell! Lol.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Still married. But seperated.Somethings just aren't meant to be no matter how hard both indivduals in a relationship try to make it work. Like the identical polarity of two magnets the more smiliarity that exists the more irresistable the force that pushes them apart.
I still love her with all my heart and soul but we realize that we just can't be together anymore. It's not a situation that either of us planned for.
Just like there can be only one rooster in the hen house with human beings there can be, with a few exceptions,only one hen too.

[Anne2345]

I am happily married, and have been for quite some time. I told my wife about my CDing before we married. It was definitely the right decision, and has worked out quite well. Better, in fact, than I could have possibly imagined (or more precisely, better than I allowed myself to imagine or hope for). A lot of work went into the issue, however, and I took nothing for granted.

As for telling a person from day 1, I do not really think that is necessary. I am by no means a relationship expert, but it seems to me that a vast majority of relationships do not make it past the dating stage. For those that tell another their innermost, deepest secrets from day 1, that may be reckless and risky. When a relationship becomes serious, and trust has evolved between the two partners, then that may be the appropriate time to discuss the issue. Or any real deeply personal issues or secrets, for that matter. It is a risky proposition, indeed, to devulge such information. But one that an SO should be trusted with, and should be provided, at the proper time within the development of a relationship. I simply do not see this as day 1 material. But I absolutely see it as pre-marriage material.

[Stephanie Miller]

Been married only once, still am, and for 35 years.
Came clean with the wife about 12 years ago. She's less than tickled about it. Has her ups and downs. She's gone out with me many times. We have several couples, good friends, that we do things with. CD wise as well as plain ol' couples.
She just happens to be in one of her "downs" right now, so Stephanie really hasn't been out in a long time. I guess this falls into one of those "or for worse" times.

[sissystephanie]

I am not married now, but am a widower!! Was married for almost 50 years to a dear lady who knew I was a crossdresser when we married!! I told that I was when I proposed to her. She accepted me "as is," and we had a lot of fun together. Of course I went out with her when I was in drab, but she also went out many times with Stephanie!! My wife was the one who really turned me into Stephanie, with her ability to fix my wig and do my makeup!!

I do not believe in lying, so not telling a wife would not work for me!! The stories that I have seen on different threads on this forum are generally about not very nice lives. So I will say the same thing I have already said many times. If you truly love your wife, tell her and let her decide what to do!! Remember, she married a MAN, not a woman!!

[BillieJoEllen]

Married for close to 39 years. Wife accidently found out about me one month before the wedding. She decided to accept me and go ahead and marry me. Shes seen me dressed A few times but its something I haven't forced on her. She used to kid me a bit about it. Seventeen years later the fit hit the shan. She underwent some counseling for depression and determined that I too go into counseling. She insisted that I become 'cured'. I've been deep in the closet ever since. How I envy you ladies whose wives are ok with your CDing.

[DebCD]

I am single and live alone. I dress when I am at home because I live in a secluded place. When I am out I do not dress as I do not feel passible, but I always have something sexy on underneath. I am bi and have some interesting relationships.

-Deb

[JamieG]

My wife and I have our 10th anniversary coming up in three weeks! She's known I CD for 8 of those years, and over time has grown fairly supportive. She still prefers not to see me dress; but gives me latitude to go to TG meetings and some privacy do dress around the home. Occasionally she buys me girly clothes. I in turn try to not get lost in the pink fog, and never shirk my duties as husband and father.

[the_me]

Happily single, and no plans to marry whatsoever. Perhaps common-law, but absolutely NO kids! That's been my policy for years, and I'm sticking with it.

[Cheryl T]

Married to a very supportive spouse (thank God).

[RADER]

Married to a loving Wife for 16+ years, she approves of my CDing, and I do not go out dressed
as I would never pass anyway.
Rader

[RenneB]

Hitched up for now goin' on 15 + years. Kept Renee at bay for most of those years while we raise a couple of biological replacements. Now, I have time at home and am gettin' Renne back in the shape for goin' out in the world. Nope, SO may suspect, but after the "who's boots are these" incident, we just don't talk about it. Too many other demons going on in our world to bring up the CDing which would probable lead to the D word. That would in turn lead to me in some cheap apt and no funds to live on.... I prefer to keep the status quo for now....

Renne.....

[satin n lace]

i have been marride for three years and she knows and very suportive of it she always telling me why are you not dressed go put something on already so ok i do but just still a little uneasy about dressing around her but im starting to dress more around her.

aka Michelle

[Amanda22]

I'm married and totally "open" with my SO, who encourages my dressing and all other feminine aspects of my life.

[Starr]

I isn't.... was married for 10 years but been single since 1984..

[KellyCD]

Was married, wife knew and "accepted" and was "supportive"(she later took all that back) until our first deployment. Having to clean out the leftover parts of one of our friends from a Humvee that was hit by an EFP plus being downrange meant every single guy there was trying to screw her didn't do to well for our "marriage". Came back to Germany and I guess she missed the attention of suddenly being a 15 on a scale of 10 to men, so she started sleeping with as many men she could.

I figured that my situation was bad but after witnessing the party that the spouses had(not to mention the prostitution ring that got busted and turns out was being run by our own FRG) that went down after my unit deployed again, I realized that everybody cheats. Its normal. So i will never marry again, divorces cost too much money.

[Melody Phillips]

I am happily married for 10 years. I just came out to my wife this year about my dressing and wanting to be more fem. She couldn't be more supportive.

[Staci G]

4th time married first 3 knew and accepted this one is non accepting, thinks im sick for even thinking about it. I am to the point of realizing yeah after 3 failed the person with the problem might be me.