I am extremely happy with him not keeping it a secret from ME. I love it that our relationship is a partnership, where we are equally open with each other as much as possible and try to be on the same page with each other. There is no other relationship in life quite like that of a lover, a spouse, or a serious partner: you don't get to choose your parents, friends or roomates may be close and trusted but they're not as intimate, children have a different dynamic with their parents... but if your partner isn't someone you can totally be yourself with, do you really want that partner? If you don't want to let them in on the deep dark secrets that are current and important in your life, are they really your partner? If I were ever hit by a bus and Crystal moved on to a new partner she felt she could be serious with, I would be super disappointed (and incredibly surprised) if they didn't have 'the talk' quite early on.
My boyfriend has had some female stirrings in his life from the time he was very very small, and started dressing as a teenager - he's had a girly side to him since before I was born. I understand that for him, it's something very private which he doesn't share often. I'm not out to change that, it's a part of who he is. Most people in his life simply aren't ever going to be affected by his wearing women's clothing occasionally, or be in a position where they may feel like they ought to know each and every detail of his life and so that's fine for them to not know. It may also be fine if more people DID know, but that's really Crystal's call and not mine. After all, I haven't been living in his skin for the past umpteen years, so I really DON'T know what it's like to have to tell such a closely kept secret.