[SIZE="2"]“You don’t get out much, do ya?” (A reply to one of my posts, c. 2009)
Today is my birthday, and I have a special question, mainly for other MtF crossdressers on this site, but anyone may reply. I once asked one of my friends this very question, nestled among several pointed queries in a PM, but, for the life of me, I cannot remember what the response was. Please excuse my innocent curiosity, but I’ve always wanted to ask this - here goes:
If you and I were to actually meet, would you shake my hand, hug me, or kiss me?
Or none of the above, I mean if you knew it was me, and you and I were dressed for this fictitious encounter, i.e. one MtF crossdresser meeting another. Perhaps you would avoid me entirely, or maybe you would take the opportunity to slap my made-up face, getting back at me for all these overblown texts I spew forth. I understand, but I will be very glad to see (and meet) YOU – would you allow me to do any of the abovementioned gestures of affection? I should explain that this is NOT an attempt to find out how many people like me or dislike me, nor am I inferring that wearing women’s clothing somehow changes one’s approach to physical contact, leading us to do things that we, as males, might not normally think of doing. I assume there is no obligatory way that two women would greet each other, indeed I’m not qualified to make these kinds of assumptions, based as they are on incomplete observations – the older I get, the less I know, in other words. This is more about isolation, and a tacit acknowledgement of another person’s lonely struggles, finding that elusive needle of alternative-ness within a haystack of “normal,” unimaginative human beings...
Perhaps you cannot contemplate meeting an abstract concept like Freddy, so just tell me how you would greet another crossdresser, one much like yourself. Many people on this board can answer this question quite easily, since you often get together for one reason or another, and it’s no big deal to meet and greet. In my case, I’ve never met another crossdresser in the flesh, yet I’ve been doing this for quite a long time now – it would be very moving for me to meet someone I know (or admire) from this site, or simply another CD, because it would verify the reality of what I (and we) do. The feeling of loneliness would soon evaporate, symbolizing the end of a long, torturous journey, and the beginning of another. After wandering for years, alone, through a desert of my own making, I finally get to meet another pilgrim – this would be a remarkable moment, so how do I express my feelings of relief and joy? I have no doubt about what I would do, but how would YOU respond?
Let’s start with a hand shake – on the other hand (pun intended), let’s not. Males shake hands, and men gauge certain things from a handshake. My handshake is about average, meaning I don’t squeeze the life out another male’s hand to express my strength and resolve. Oddly enough, I encounter a lot of very gentle, wet noodle handshakes out in the world, even from males who wear a cloak of virility. Memorably, I once shook a woman’s hand, and she just held it out to be clasped thusly, with no return gesture forthcoming – this delicacy made an indelible impression on me at the time, but this is in no way indicative of ALL female handshakes. OK – you and I are dressed as women, actively emulating women, so how can we shake hands like males normally do? Shaking hands indicates agreement, and you and I agree resolutely, but will shaking hands stir up our delicate grip on femininity? Under these unusual circumstances, it goes without saying that high-fives or “fisting” will not be forthcoming. Chest-bumping is also out of the question, but only out of a healthy respect for our prosthetic undergarments...
So, how about a hug? I don’t mean that quick clasp-and-release, nervous way that males “hug” each other – I mean a REAL hug, a tight hug, one where you crush the aforementioned breastforms gently together in a mutual display of affection. This is awkward, or is it? I mean, how long is she going to hold me like this? After a while it feels good, once you get past fear of the unknown and deal with the moment at hand. I’m thinking that, at this point, gender no longer becomes a point of reference – you and I are males, yet we are dressed as women, and we’re hugging each other. It gets confusing, but so what? We’re just two human beings, unconcerned with the implications of our crossdressing – I wonder if I might be monitoring the pressure of your hug for signs of repulsion or discomfort. Relax, it’s just a gesture, meant to put you at ease – I like you because I understand you, and I want you to know I care about you. We are linked in spirit, knowledge, and experience – that deserves a hug! BTW, no slapping on the back, please...
Would you think about kissing me? I’ll tell you, I would kiss any member on this site if I met them, no matter what nook and cranny they occupied, especially my friends. I hope that notion doesn’t put you off! Let’s talk about practicality, MtF’ers – I mean, I don’t want to disturb your makeup, nor do I wish to impart an unwanted impression of my lips on your countenance, but something meaningful and profound needs to be done! Do we kiss each other on the cheek, or do we kiss on the lips? I’m thinking about my lipstick, as you are, but don’t hold back now – we may never have this opportunity again. I have no compunction about kissing another male-by-birth within the circumstances I have outlined, but, of course, we aren’t males if we identify as females, correct? Would females kiss each other in this manner, at a moment like this? This is a kiss with no strings attached, more like a token of love and confidence, a manifestation of peace, in the absence of any ill will, like males USED to do. The kiss can be profoundly light and gentle, indicative of friendship, or more forceful, indicative of fondness, but it’s NOT an “air kiss.” We are the courageous explorers of gender, so why succumb to “normal” modes of greeting at a time like this? Think continental thoughts and be at ease, my friend...
Like I say, I’m not alluding to a notion that wearing women’s clothing necessarily changes the dynamic of things, meaning a masculine approach to human interaction, because I feel that is already in place regardless of our outward appearance. In this case, where one lonely MtF crossdresser meets another MtF crossdresser (who may be lonely or not), it’s more like finally meeting a member of a small, unseen, alternate, or “secret” society, made even smaller by the fact that I know some of your thoughts and you know some of mine, thanks to writing. Whether or not you agree with what I may submit from time to time is irrelevant – I recognize you as a sister, and I wish to express my gratitude that you exist in the world. A handshake is simply inadequate, a hug is not enough, but kissing may be the only way to efficiently express how one feels. Do you agree? I need to tell you that if you kiss me, I’ll be crying, so you may want to bring some tissues in your purse to help me stem the flood of emotion...
I will be so very glad to meet you, and I hope you feel the same, but I’m under no illusions – perhaps you’ll avoid me altogether and do none of the above. I understand, but, if you’re a crossdresser, I love you, and there are only so many ways to express this heartfelt feeling. I know what you might be thinking – she’s gone too far this time! If this minute examination of a moment in time is too much for you, I apologize. I merely wish to state that, if I were given the chance, I would recognize another MtF crossdresser with genuine emotion, appreciative of his (or her) unquestionable courage. It all boils down to whether or not you feel your crossdressing is special, or what your level of appreciation for another CD’er may be. I assume that some people do not appreciate me at all, but cries of “Oh, brother” can be easily replaced with, “Oh, sister!” I much prefer the positive sound of the latter, and life is much too short for half-measures...
So, will boys necessarily BE boys, under the circumstances? Please tell me about your experiences meeting other crossdressers, or what you might do if you met ME. It goes without saying that I live vicariously through my sisters, in a vacuum, just off the Interstate, and, no, I don’t get out much...
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btw xx[/SIZE]
Originally Posted by AllieSF
I am a pretty tactile person.
