How important to you is the comfort level of your GG's? Are you so caught up in your own agenda of dressing at any cost that you would shut someone that loved you out of your life if their comfort level was not to the degree of participation that you would like, or would you just be glad that you had someone who loved and accepted you and could accept any level of participation she would/could engage in?
What if she refused to participate at all but did not hold you back or expect you to stop as long as you didn't include her? Would the fact that she loved you and accepted you be enough or do you feel you have to find that person who can fill all of your needs as a CD to be content?