I'm wondereding if the majority of the deception that surrounds crossdressing is a byproduct of society's treatment of transgendered individuals, or if the secrecy is directly connected to the thrill associated with the possibility of being caught.
If you could cd openly around anyone and everyone without repercussions, would you? Would you choose to dress entirely en femme or would you prefer to "mix-n-match" various male/female elements?
Fun-loving FAB. Married to Retrofitme.
Strictly society's views. I need my job. When I retire all bets are off.
Otherwise I would be more of a mix and matcher, with a lot of skirts mixed in.
There is no thrill about being caught... when it happens it is very painful and the ramifications are awesome. The answer to your question is simply that I do not know. I would love to live this 24/7, but I have no desire to be a bald guy with a beard in a dress... and so it gets complicated.
I have often thought that if someone waved a magic wand and I was female would I want to go back? Such is the dilemma...
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
I wouldn't care that much about strangers knowing that I dress up, but friends and family are totally different. It might be different for me if I felt like a woman trapped in a man's body, but since it's purely sexual for me, it's something I prefer to keep private anyway. Kinda like my dirty little secret... keeping it taboo and secret enhances the excitement for me.
I hide my CDing from my immediate family because they've expressed very transphobic sentiments over the years. I think they're both closet homosexuals and hate themselves for it so they're hostile to anything they can remotely declare gay, even my music taste. Every time there's a CD in the news, or on TV, or whatever... the comment is always "that's just wrong".
A BIG IF is that society just does not see a CD as a normal person. With that
thought in mind, I will stay in the "Closet". Today, being BI, or Gay, or lesbian, is
somewhat accepted in society. But the poor cross dresses, trans gender, or
a mixture of both is seen as a freak. It is not a dreaded disease, or something
contagious, It is just an other way of life.
Yes, I wish I could mix and match my life, I am retired now, and have more time
to enjoy dressing. But going out of the friendly confides of my abode, NO WAY.
Maybe the world might change, but I do not think it will be soon.
Rader
There would be a price to pay if I came out.I'm not willing to pay that price even though I think there is nothing wrong with cding.There are many issues in any society that have these penalties attached,Taboo is the operative word I believe.
Like most, I think my chief fear is my employment. While I am legally protected, there are plenty of ways that people could make my life miserable if they found out. I'm also concerned about the reaction of my non-CD friends. My CDing has nothing to do with the things I do with them, but discussing it would likely make it a major distraction.
If I could CD openly without repercussions, I would probably find a happy medium. As I said elsewhere, if I could just wear a pretty top, nice jeans or tights, and a bit of lipstick in public, just as a GG would, I would feel that I was expressing myself in a way I want. As it is, I feel forced into an "all or nothing" situation.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I hide my crossdressing because I NEED to express my inner womanhood but have a GLBTphobic wife who does not accept, allow or tolerate what I am...
xxx
Kathryn
Waiting for my upgrade to Female
I work for the state and as such it would be illegal for me to lose my job over my 'gender identity". But just because something is illegal does not mean it does not happen.
But in all seriousness, I find that I am a little more open with the public than my family. I have only ever shopped in drab and on the few times I have been asked if the items I am purchasing are for me I have answered truthfully, with no serious repercussions. But only a select few of my family actually know about my dressing. Some may suspect, but the fear of hurting or loosing the support of my family will keep me in the proverbial closet for the foreseeable future.
A large part of it for me is that I was raised in a very conservative Catholic family, and so it'd be a huge hassle trying to explain the situation to them. I'm rather certain they wouldn't go so far as to disown me or anything, but it would make things quite uncomfortable any time I went home to visit.
Even though I currently live in an area that's much more LGBT-friendly, I find it difficult because of exactly where I land in that spectrum. The impression I've had is that most people assume the T to be just as polarized as the other letters; either you are or you aren't. That is, anyone who would put themselves in the T group is presumed to have the "trapped in the wrong body" attitude, wanting to take hormones and get on the path to SRS. And that's what keeps me in the closet, because it's absolutely not the case. Among strangers—on vacation, for example, or even going to an out-of-town mall—it's not so much an issue, but there would be serious confusion among people I know well and see regularly.
Ideally, I'd be able to get up in the morning, decide whether it's going to be a "guy day" or "girl day" depending on my mood and plans for the day, dress accordingly, and go about my business. I could flip-flop from day to day as I saw fit, without anyone questioning why I showed up to work or school in a jeans-and-t-shirt getup with a flat chest one day, then a halter top and skirt with C cups the next. Since that's not likely to be a reality any time soon, and I don't see myself sliding to the whole-9-yards end of the T scale, I'll be keeping it hidden from all but a handful of people I really trust.
Yes, I do hide my crossdressing from many of the important people in my life. However, I have and would continue exposing some of my crossdressing interests to the public with no worries of those important people and acquaintances finding out. I have been on television as a part of the Pride Parade news coverage and as a subject on a 1/2 hour crossdressing documentary. The reason for not straight up and telling is cause I'm lazy, they can come to me if they are interested in my crossdressing.
If you could cd openly around anyone and everyone without repercussions, would you?
I go crossdressed where and when I desire to do so, without any stress weighing on my mind. If I bump into someone that I haven't came out to or if they caught a glimpse of my crossdressing somewhere, so be it.
Would you choose to dress entirely en femme or would you prefer to "mix-n-match" various male/female elements?
I'd prefer entirely en femme, but if a mix-n-match looks awesome.... then I'd have no issues in doing it too.
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 07-05-2011 at 05:33 PM.
Fear, totally fear of society.
I would love to be able to dress for 24/7, if only just for a week.
My wife knows, but she is not comfortable.
For me, it is what others has said. Society attaches a stigma to cross-dressing. I have come out to only to one person in real life, and that went very well. She thought I was going to confess something totally weird. It was a relief when she said "That's it?"
I don't get a thrill out the fear of getting caught.I'm wondereding if the majority of the deception that surrounds crossdressing is a byproduct of society's treatment of transgendered individuals, or if the secrecy is directly connected to the thrill associated with the possibility of being caught.
I have stayed in the closet because any time I hinted to my wife that I would like to crossdress, even for Halloween,it resulted in a very uncomfortable situation. She is ok with crossdressing as long as it is not her husband.
Small town socity is such that if I was caught I would have lost my job as a middle school teacher. (Morals Clause)
Since I retired and moved I have made a few ventures out dressed,but I don't pass well and try to be careful where I go.
I would be in a skirt as a male most of the time and would go fully en femme when I desired .If you could cd openly around anyone and everyone without repercussions, would you? Would you choose to dress entirely en femme or would you prefer to "mix-n-match" various male/female elements?
I really don't want to jeopardize my relationships with my kids. It's just not important enough to me to have to share with everybody. the only people who know are my wife, mother and sister. Also I am very self-conscious on how I will look for I have never CDed completely. I am currently on a diet and waiting for the winter clothes to come out so I will look better. I also need a wig and make-up.
All of the reason that everybody have already stated. Ther are to many complication if caught.
I hide it because I don't want to be seen as a curiosity, and it really isn't worth the stress of telling a lot of people. I have told my girlfriend though, because she has a right to know, and she's been fairly accepting so far.
If society accepted crossdressing, I would still dress like a guy most of the time but I would occasionally wear some makeup and a feminine outfit. I haven't gone out fully dressed, but if I did I'd have to wear a wig, talk in a higher pitched voice, carefully shave noticeable body hair etc to pass and not feel really awkward. I still do some of that stuff in private because it's fun to see myself as a girl sometimes lol but I don't think I'd go through all that trouble if a guy in a skirt and makeup was socially acceptable.
It's going to get old fast, but yes... there are a lot of complications that would occur if I hadn't been hiding my dressing habits up until now. I currently don't work so that's not one of my fears, but what my family thinks of me is still somewhat important to me. I can't go and jeopardize anything as of right now.
If I had the option, I would be dressed en femme, all the time. That's just who I am, and I hate the fact that I have to hide it just to be accepted by society (for now, anyway).
I have been hiding my CD'ing all my life and I now need to stop doing that because it is driving me crazy to the point of not doing it (which is worse for me because then it is just on my mind 24/7)....So coming out seems to be the solution however difficult that may be.I just want to emerge slowly but become the most beautiful butterfly I can be! Mixing and matching is kind of ok but I would prefer to be FTime.
I hide my dressing to most. I have no problem with most of the public knowing about my CDing especailly out of the area public. Like most of yiou, I have to be concerned with my job. If it wasn't for that, I'd wear heels and makeup everyday. Alas, I can't so I can only dream that society's opinions will change eventually.
Another possibility is a CDer's inner gender conflict? The guy side (for some CDers) might not want selected people (spouse, friends) to see the girl side that wants to come out? I remember a thread here a while back where some of the CDers actually preferred to dress privately, even if they thought their wives might be accepting. Some CDers just don't want to be a girl with their wives, I guess.Originally Posted by mourningdove
Reine
real interesting thread. I think there is a certain thrill in hiding it It may have to do with the mores of our society but I am not really sure.
Part 2 I would switch back and forth as I feel like It would never be 24/7 fem
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
I will probably really get "flamed" for saying this, but I will say it anyway. One of the major reasons that a lot of CD's hide their crossdressing is simply because they HAVE NOT ACCEPTED the fact that they are crossdressers!! Of course, they usually will not admit that and will give any number of other answers. But the fact remains, it really is a question of self acceptance!! I fully accepted the fact that I was a CD about 60 years ago, and have never had a problem with that! I now switch back and forth between drab and enfemme clothing almost every day. I have no desire to actually be a woman, so will not be enfemme 24/7! But I do love to wear feminine clothing, so will continue to do so whenever I can!!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I hide my CDing mostly due to family views my family is hugely anti gay, lesbian TG and CDing i almost came out to them but a show about CD's came on and i was shocked on some of the comments my parents made. this is the man reason i hide my CDing but i would gladly open CD to people and i would mix-n-match
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