I have NEVER gotten a "thrill" when thinking about getting "caught"!
I can think of VERY MANY bad things that could happen to me and my family if I were outed. And, ZERO good things!
If society was TRULY ACCEPTING, I would go out as Sherry! NOT as me out in drag! I expect to see pigs overhead WAY before either of those r acceptable to the vanilla public!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
The thrill isn't from the possiblitity of being caught, the thrill comes from the possibility of getting away with it.Originally Posted by mourningdove
I definitely blame society and society is the reason why I am forced to be in the closet when it comes to my CDing. There is nothing I would love more than to be able to go out in public wearing a skirt and flip-flops, with painted nails. Well, that is without being looked at negatively.
i hide it because of the fear of losing many of my close friends. i have alot of supposibly openminded lefty friends but they do say quite a few homophobic things. my family would be hit or miss. no thrill added in the chance of being caught.
if i could dress openly sans and problems i would totally do it! i wouldnt say id mix and match but i would some days be in male mode and others in gina mode for sure.
[QUOTE=mourningdove;2536813]I'm wondereding if the majority of the deception that surrounds crossdressing is a byproduct of society's treatment of transgendered individuals, or if the secrecy is directly connected to the thrill associated with the possibility of being caught.
Hi morningdove, I respectfully disagree that there is a deception that surrounds crossdressing, and it being a byproduct of society's treatment of people like some of us on here. All I want to say here is that your word of deception should really be, "misconception", do you not think? Your word used here is like saying that a crossdresser is "decieving" society because of a byproduct of society's mistreatment.
I'm just saying that there is a misconception by our society, but there is no deception coming from us, crossdressers.
...love & respect................Tara
Last edited by Tara D. Rose; 07-05-2011 at 10:54 PM. Reason: typos
If I could do what I wanted without any consequences I'd rob a bank in drag, then get really drunk.
And the second part to your question, if I could go out in public and be a woman without "any" reprecussions? Oh yes definatley. Although this day will never come in my lifetime. But if it magically came true tomorrow, I would go down to the local mall and shop, go to the park, pump my gas and go visit freinds and family. Oh it would be such a thrill to visit them and they say well hey what a pleasant surprise, Tara come on in. Hey everyone, Tara is here, and then to be met with hugs and all. Or to go to the local convenient store and have gentlemen hold the door for me that got there first. Or to go to work and and be seen like any other girl. Oh in my vivid in depth imagination, it would be the thrill of a lifetime if such a day was upon us. And yes, I think sub-conciously we all want to be caught, maybe not for the thrill, or maybe so the thrill ,,or a thrill, but if we all came out to the world at one time, maybe we could send the message, maybe we could change the world's views, maybe we could,,,,,,,,,,,,,?,,,maybe we could,,,,,,,," well we may be able to,,,,,?,no not anytime soon I'm sorry to say. But I'm telling you , that you can find more "so called" ..."open minded" people that can preach what would be right, but those same one's make society be what it is. To prove it, just talk to your brother, sister , co worker, or anyone, under 50. Ask them, hey ,my company and I are taking a survey, would you answer some questions for us? They say, ok. You then ask them, if your son, brother, father, was a cd, how would you feel about it? Most would go with the political correctness side of it all and would probably say, "oh I'd have no problem with it at all". Then go and have thier brother, son and father dress up like to the nines like Sophia Loren, and brother like Cher, and their son like Britney, and so on. Tell them that thier father, brother and son are at the local crossdresser, TS,TG event. And take them in, I bet most , not all, but most, would go in and jump all over thier family for doing just what they had earlier condoned in the survey. PC is all over the TV and work, but society, well, that's a whole different color and style of panties......................................Love & respect.................Tara
oh and PS: I love panties
Last edited by Tara D. Rose; 07-05-2011 at 10:52 PM. Reason: typos
I hide my crossdressing because it's just so much easier that way. The thought of what my family would say. What my Son would think and what his mates would say to him about me. I also have step daughters and the same thing with their reaction and their friends. I would probably lose some of my friends too. I cant imagine all the questions! This is why its just easier to keep it to myself. I have no intention nor do I ever want to do the weekly shop dressed up. Anyway I don't have the body for it.
It could also be dangerous! I live in a working class area on a large estate on the outskirts of a large city. Rumours and gossip spread like wildfire. I'm now single and live alone. What starts as me being a CD could quite easy turn in to me being a pervert or pedophile. It's a possibility and I could beaten and hounded out of my home. I've heard of these things happening. It doesn't take long to brand some one and its very hard to prove yourself innocent. Mud sticks. I'm not saying this would happen but walking around dressed as a woman wouldn't be the best idea I've ever had.
If I lived in a world where CDing was totally accepted then I guess I'd dress according to the way I feel and what I was doing. Yes I'd wear a lot of feminine clothes but I'd also go for the Jeans/shorts and t shirt look. It would be a cool world
I find no thrill in the possiblility of being caught. I don't think I want my family to see me because I'm still working on acceptance of myself. I'm getting better. What once was unthinkable is reaching desirable (sometimes in a pink fog kind of way).
I'd mix-n-match, dress entirely en femme or dress however I felt at that particular time. My therapist and I talked about this very thing today and I think I would be very fluid.
I underdress (cami) everyday for the last 4 months and it seems to satisfy a need during the long time spans between dressing up.
There definitely is the fantasy of being out and about and passing for a woman, which I guess is made more powerful by the subterfuge. Still, I would not keep it a secret if it was accepted. It's not that I am scared to lose my job or friends, because I'm pretty sure that would not happen. It's just that right now, what I need least in my life is a quest to combat society's ignorance. I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime, already. Before I even started CD'ing.
Good morning, Mourning Dove!
I would love to CD when, where and how I please.
That has taken about thirty years for me to discover - better late than never though.
As a closeter, I can't know whether I would like to dress full-time, or not.
If it worked well, and it were accepted in my environment, then I'm sure I would do it a lot.
It's that feel-good feeling!
Wishful thinking? I dunno. Who knows?
I had always wondered, whether I was only doing this for the thrill you mention.
Now that I can dress at will, I can answer a definite no!
When I think of all the needless emotional trauma I put myself (and especially my Ex) through,
I just feel like giving me a good
Well, I suppose that sort of says it all. That's how I feel.
But having lived in denial for so long, one needs time to "re-adjust" - so don't be too hard on us, Stephanie.
The excuses, which you call answers, are a way of coming to terms with our past while looking for a new foothold in daily life.
A major reason why I separated from my family is that I realised deep down,
that I had too many of my own issues to sort out, especially CDing.
I've managed to walk with my youngest to school almost everyday since separating, by the way.
And I support my Ex in every way I can, for which she is grateful.
I admire you so much for your balanced approach and I'm delighted for you as a CDer.
No flaming from me, Stephanie
Gaby
[SIZE="1"]When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... In the lilt of Irish laughter... When Irish hearts are happy... And When Irish Eyes Are Smiling... [/SIZE]
My initial and instinctive response is always to say that committing "social suicide" just never sounds like that much fun to me...
I vividly recall that look on her face one time at soccer practice when she was about 7-8 years old...when a friend asked her if it was "weird" to have divorced parents...Not a memory I would like to experience again or make my daughter relive again.
But now she is off to college next month in another state. My critically abusive father is dead. I can't get fired because I am self-employed. I rarely see my lifelong friends (living in other states) much anymore. None of us have much interest in flying and airports anymore. So pop-in visits are a rarity. I already "lost" everything after my last divorce, so I can't really say I have that excuse anymore...
hmmmm. I just realized that for me...maybe there are not as many valid reasons left for "hiding" as I thought there was...
I will have to get back to you on this one...
Last edited by eluuzion; 07-06-2011 at 04:36 AM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I currently am hiding it but I'm getting closer and closer to being completely out. I don't want to hide anymore, I want to be the real me, I will live and enjoy with whatever society thinks. I can imagine family and friends, things will be a bit different and some friends will be lost forever, where my family will see me differently. That's how it will be pretty soon.
I don't dress to impress, I dress to outdress
I hide simply because I am afraid of the unknown. (NOT sure my family could live with the comments)
Now if I could dress without reprecussion or fear of anything. I would dress as Keri fulltime, Nothing over the top just ordinary everyday wear as any woman would dress on a normal day. The bonus would be the makeup and hair to go along with it. I am a much happier person even just underdressing and feeling like I am suppose to be dressed as Keri
I don't really "hide" but I err on the side of extreme caution. There is too much ignorance, intolerance, and hatred scattered about in today's society for me to totally feel comfortable everywhere.Even some of my own family falls into this category. Enough said, I know y'all get my drift.
I guess it does come down to a societal value. I'd like to unhide my CDing, but my first obstacle would be my wife. She knows I have clothing, but she doesn't want to see it, be around it, or even deal with it. So out of deference to her, I keep my stuff put away. As for others, they don't go poking around in my things, so that wouldn't matter.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
There are many reasons why I keep my cding a secret. All have been said above. Even If it was ok with the world, I would still keep it inhouse. Part of why I like it is that it's myown little seceret. I think it would lose some of it's alure for me If Everybody just excepted it.
Cary
I hide because of negative vibes from my mother and people around me--and particularly from my wife who disapproves. Neutral or slight acceptance from others who are close when I told them.
Not sure if I would dress a lot if society accepted. It might be fun for a week or two. Shopping, working, manicure, eating out--sounds like fun.
[QUOTE=Cary;2537524]There are many reasons why I keep my cding a secret. All have been said above. Even If it was ok with the world, I would still keep it inhouse. Part of why I like it is that it's myown little seceret. I think it would lose some of it's alure for me If Everybody just excepted it.[/QUOTE I pretty much agree with what Cary said. I just think its really no ones elses business what I do.
For me the fear of being caught is based entirely on who it is that is catching me! -- John Q public having made me while being dressed, I don't think so - thats his problem; anyone thats close, friend, or anyone uncomfortable with how I present being femm is a problem for me, not only their feelings of whatever, but my value of that persons relationship to me! If there were no repercussions there would be no problem - as it is I only dress as best I can and want to look totally femm..........Debra
I still live at home while i'm going to school and my family is very conservative. So if they found out about my "other" side , they would probably disown me .
Ultimately, right now, and it can and will change, I hide it from many because it is a much needed source of self-nurturing and i fear that if i was rejected or ridiculed for it I would lose my most effective tool for healing and strength.
Im sexy and proud of what I can do.. If other people dont like my costumes. < Yes I refer them as costumes > It kills ignorance when I say costumes. That it is no different than the work Ronald Mcdonald does... He wears a wig and a colorful clothes... Get over it..What my sexual orientation is, isnt anybody's business but my lovers..
Exatly Reine. I have no doubt that my my family and close friends would still love me the same way my wife still does after knowing about my cross dressing. The problem is in their eyes I am on a pedestal. Even my 20 year old grandaughter idolizes her grandpa. My desire to openly dress is just not important enough to me to allow it to even slightly knock me down even a knotch on that pedestal in her eyes.
I really believe that is why so many still continue to hide it from even our wives or are uncomfortable being dressed around them even when they know and accept
As for mix it up..I don't wear a suit and tie all the time as a male so why would I only dress ultra feminine while en-femme
Last edited by kendra_gurl; 07-06-2011 at 02:53 PM.
I completely agree. I had a gay best friend for 20 years. I was always supportive even decided to go to his favorite gay dives where there were often aggressive grabby dudes. However, one night two trans girls came in. The were beautiful, on hormones since 19. The only real thing that gave one of them away was her hight. The other one was openly stating her gender identity. Needless to say, they were harassed more often than welcomed.
When my friend saw me spend the entire night with one of them discussing my gender issues he got very very creeped out. I wont even begin to describe the debauchery he'd engaged in at that place yet what made him disgusted was 2 beautiful women who were born male and the possibility of me being like them....
More importantly, my family would lose it if I became to open. They used to get very very angry and violent about my dressing as a kid. Every time in life when they'd find something or snoop through my room there was such a look of utter shame and disappointment. Now its an unspoken topic. I have lefty friends as well and a recently ex'ed girlfriend who see it as freakish. Oh well.
The one person who would have accepted me (my sister) recently has become distant. That's a whole other topic though.
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