Wife still putting up road blocks

[Erika_bagels]

I think she might have reached her point of being able to understand, or at least for the time being. We're going to the free showing of the last Harry Potter sneak preview on base, and there's a costume contest. She says, "you could wear your witch dress" (I was the wicked drag queen of the west for halloween) and I get this awesome idea that I could go as Minerva McGonagall, going all out with old lady wrinkle lines and stuff. But when I say I want to buy a cheap pair of shoes at TJ maxx or payless to wear with it, she starts offering up all these reasons why I shouldn't do it all of a sudden, like why buy something you're never going to wear again, can't you just wear the dress (har har har, a hairy man in a dress with a witch hat everyone), weak reason after weak reason to support her point, which made me think something deeper was turning her off to the idea of buying some $10 shoes. I was pretty disappointed, and a little cheated out of my fun. I had planned to use this as an opportunity to go out for the first time with some shaved legs, en old-femme, as a sort of icebreaker for the wife. Maybe she picked up on that and got nervous? I dunno. Bleh.

[Eryn]

I think she might have reached her point of being able to understand, or at least for the time being. We're going to the free showing of the last Harry Potter sneak preview on base, and there's a costume contest. She says, "you could wear your witch dress" (I was the wicked drag queen of the west for halloween) and I get this awesome idea that I could go as Minerva McGonagall, going all out with old lady wrinkle lines and stuff. But when I say I want to buy a cheap pair of shoes at TJ maxx or payless to wear with it, she starts offering up all these reasons why I shouldn't do it all of a sudden, like why buy something you're never going to wear again, can't you just wear the dress (har har har, a hairy man in a dress with a witch hat everyone), weak reason after weak reason to support her point, which made me think something deeper was turning her off to the idea of buying some $10 shoes. I was pretty disappointed, and a little cheated out of my fun. I had planned to use this as an opportunity to go out for the first time with some shaved legs, en old-femme, as a sort of icebreaker for the wife. Maybe she picked up on that and got nervous? I dunno. Bleh.

That's entirely possible. She made a relatively simple suggestion (witch dress) and you ran pretty quickly with it to specific plans for an elaborate character costume. Perhaps she feared a spending frenzy and decided to nip it in the bud.

Believe it or not, she probably does have your best interests at heart. Talk with her rationally about it and emphasize that you chose inexpensive shoes so that they wouldn't break the budget.

[Erika_bagels]

I did, but she won't budge. I even opted to use my own black shoes, but it turns out that her makeup is insufficient to make me look like an old woman. She does fear a spending spree, because apparently just buying one thing probably won't be enough to pull off the costume.

She also suggested Uncle Vernon, but I'd have to buy fat clothes and a false mustache, so that one fell through.

I read your other post in my other thread. I really think she doesn't get the extent to which I want this, but every time I bring up a desire to dress beyond underdressing, she says she can't think about it, that if she talks about it, she'll freak out. I guess it's nice to know she wants to be ready first, it's just that in the meantime I don't feel free to experiment with how far I want to even go with it. Limbo sucks.

[tabithavalentine]

I know exactly how you feel. I came out to my wife about two months ago (kind of not by choice), and since that first week it hasn't been discussed. I'm afraid to bring it up now because I don't know how she'll react at all. It's become the thing we both know but never discuss and that really sucks.

[Cynthia Anne]

If you can't go and have fun! Then why go? Perhaps if she sees that you have lost interest she will give a little! Just a thought from a could be shaved head country girl!