Is it our responsibility to share?

[2B Natasha]

What I mean is this.

I go out often into the wider world. Dressed for what ever occasion that I am going too. The thing is I rarely if ever post about it here.

But should I? Does it help others for me to feed my narcissism?

Not just me, but all the ladies and Gentlemen that go out and interact with others, en femme or for the fTm dressed as a guy. Do they have a responsibility to share every time or close to it?

What are your thoughts?

Cheers

[kimdl93]

Natasha,

I don't feel you're under any obligation to share. However, every success offers the potential for really important encouragement and hope for those of us who are still trying to grow into that wider world. If sharing them feed your narccisism just a bit, so much the better. We all need to feel good about ourselves!

[Cynthia Anne]

There is no responsibilty in it! BUT! The nice thing is not only does it help others, it also helps you! Comments, good or bad helps everyone grow! So my policy is to share as much as possible!v Hugs!

[Dr.Susan]

All depends if it sharing or bragging on how it effects people.

[StaceyJane]

It really is up to whatever a person is comfortable with.
I've made a unch of Youtue videos of me going out en femme in order to encourage others to go out. I certianatly don't expect everyone to do the same.

[sissystephanie]

Natasha, the only thing we really have to share is our love for each other!! That may include sharing our stories about our dressing, but not necessaryly!!

We are all individuals, which means we are all different!! Yes, some of us go out dressed enfemme in public a lot, but others prefer to stay in the closet!! That is their choice, and their right!!

But we do all have not only the right, but the obligation to share our love for each other in whatever way we can!! My love to all of you!!

[mercterr]

Right now I am learning to like myself and what/who I am. My therapist told that talking with someone about your fears and shame takes their power away. In hearing about others adventures and daily routines, i see that I am not so unusual. Not every post is helpful to me and not everyone's goals and visions here match my own, but your stories and experiences help me right now. I imagine a few new people a day come here and are similarly helped even as the older salty veterans tire of the repetitive nature of the posts. If sharing your stories and experiences feeds your narcissism as well, all the better! It's not hurting anyone and sometimes it just feels good to talk about oneself.

[Eryn]

There is no responsibility at all to share your experiences. Your life is your life and if you want it to be private that is your business.

On the flip side, I would very much like to help you celebrate if you feel like sharing. I recently shared my first time in public and really enjoyed the attention and feedback. I also enjoy reading about everyone's experiences and find that they have helped my own self-confidence immensely. I hope that I can do the same for others.

Eryn

[Kathi Lake]

Natasha, this is exactly the reason why I have 'dialed back' my Kathi adventure posts here. I was worried that it was getting all about me, instead of all about us. Yes, I have been out, but I haven't posted much about it. Instead, I have been posting in other's threads, trying to support them.

I mean, I'll admit it - I'm as narcissistic as the next girl. That doesn't mean I always have to be, right?



Kathi

[Karren H]

I used to feel the need to share every time I went out....for some reason... And post photos every time I went out but not any more. I've even gone out and not taken photos!! Ekkkk... Lol. I really have no clue if it helps others or not... I've had people tell me here and on facebook that they live vicariously through me. And others that go out. So maybe that does help? It's what ever you feel most comfortable doing. Lately I feel that its pretty time consuming putting something together with photos and up loading them and making sure they are the correct size so you don't get your wrists slapped. And either I'm getting old and cranky but its not worth the hassle. I don't know.

[joanna marie]

By sharing your adventures you are allowing me and others here to realize it is possible to get out of the closet,without the gender police coming after you.
It also helps to reinforce the the fact that there is really nothing wrong in what we are doing by dressing.

[AllieSF]

I get out all the time, but never start a thread of my own. I share some of my adventures when I think that they may fit into someone else's thread, or in a friends thread about one of our joint outings. As Kathi says, narcissism does feel good sometimes. I don't like to over do it and like others have had people tell me that they enjoy reading about my adventures since they have limited opportunities to get out themselves.

[drag n fly]

I used to feel the need to share every time I went out....for some reason... And post photos every time I went out but not any more. I've even gone out and not taken photos!! Ekkkk... Lol. I really have no clue if it helps others or not... I've had people tell me here and on facebook that they live vicariously through me. And others that go out. So maybe that does help? It's what ever you feel most comfortable doing. Lately I feel that its pretty time consuming putting something together with photos and up loading them and making sure they are the correct size so you don't get your wrists slapped. And either I'm getting old and cranky but its not worth the hassle. I don't know.

I don't know if I speak for others, but, for myself, I love anything with you in a lens...Please Karren, share a little more of yourself..You're such a wit! smooches Jackie

[Nikki A.]

It isn't our responsibility, but if something does happen either nice or not that may be a help for others in our forum, it would be nice to be able to relate our experiences.
If good it reinforces, if bad at least we raise that issue also.

[steph1964]

I have been in hiding all my life and I only recently, since joining this forum, shared my feelings with my wife. For most of my life I have lived with guilt and shame, but reading other posts has helped me immensely. Just reading the adventures of others; the ups and downs, the first times doing things, and those who are comfortable going out, helps me feel that I am not alone.

I don’t comment much, partly because I am still trying to get comfortable on the forum, and I may never get the confidence to venture out. But I do enjoy reading the posts of others. So don’t look at it as being narcissistic, look at it as being supportive.

[shayleetv]

This post is a little sticky, a sort of six of one and a half a dozen of the other. Why did we join this forum? Are we here to just take from others or are we here to share and help. I know that there are those who only lurk and take what others share and never share of their selves or experiences. Others you are always seeing who and what they do like it was a diary. The first kind of person I don't understand but I truly love to hear what others are saying about their lives and encounters along the way. I feel as they have become close friends even though the only person I have met in person is Kathi Lake. You who post here have made me truly feel as though I am a part of something that makes my life better. I know I'm more adjusted to my life because of this forum and the posts I read here.
I feel if you take from the pile you are obligated to put something back in exchange. You may feel that you have nothing important to say but by keeping silent you don't grow in your stand and you actually deprive others from knowing you are out there and sharing in each others lives. RESPONSIBILITY, YES! This is a society where everyone grows in maturity as we share our lives , as different as our live are we are still attached. And now I yield my soap box to anyone so moved to take it.

[Eryn]

I was worried that it was getting all about me, instead of all about us.

By definition, "sharing" isn't all about you. It's about allowing everyone to enjoy your experiences.

I used to feel the need to share every time I went out....for some reason... And post photos every time I went out but not any more. I've even gone out and not taken photos!! Ekkkk... Lol. I really have no clue if it helps others or not...

No clue required. It does help others, either simply through entertainment or through providing that little push needed to help them out the door.

I get out all the time, but never start a thread of my own. I share some of my adventures when I think that they may fit into someone else's thread, or in a friends thread about one of our joint outings. As Kathi says, narcissism does feel good sometimes. I don't like to over do it and like others have had people tell me that they enjoy reading about my adventures since they have limited opportunities to get out themselves.

Precisely, though I would encourage you to start a few threads if you have the material for them. I love to read different perspectives and sometimes a person's perspective is much different when they are initiating a thought rather than adding to someone else's thoughts.

[TxKimberly]

Well, I suppose that I am probably the most prolific about that sort of thing here so I prolly ought to comment. After giving it a lot of thought, I've concluded that I'll be damned if I know.

As to your specific questions -

"But should I?"
"Do they have a responsibility to share every time or close to it?"

Don't be silly - you have no obligation to do anything at all here other than be polite with what you DO post. It is entirely up to you what you wish to share and who you wish to share it with.

"Does it help others for me to feed my narcissism? "

With out a doubt. Reading Karen Huttons posts encouraged me to leave my hotel room and I've never looked back.
I have several times thought to myself that writing my blogs and posts were more trouble than they were worth and were taking up far too much of my time, and I have thought to stop devoting that effort. It seems that every time I have considered that, I have started receiving countless emails, and I do mean a LOT, thanking me for showing them that it could be done and thanking me for helping them to find the courage to try it.
If my posts, and the posts of others like me, have helped others to accept and stop hating themselves, helped others to find courage to try what they have longed for, and shown them that the world will accept and tolerate them, then didn't we accomplish something worth doing?
When I first started writing about my outings, it was in large part for my ego I suppose - "Hey look ma, no hands AND while wearing heels!" Now, years later, and after having received so many comments and letters thanking me for helping others to find courage, I keep writing these posts almost entirely because it feels good to know that they may mean something to someone - that they just might make a difference to someone.
If it were all about narcissism, I would just throw my pics up on flickr and call it a day.

[kristinacd55]

It's funny Natasha, but once you DO start going out depending on your situation some folks want to share more, and some less. I know for me, it was like free, free, free, I am free at last!! Of course, it wasn't COMPLETELY true, but I loved sharing it with all the bloggers here or wherever. Ahh freedom....

[Wendy_Marie]

I feel that sharing my experiences and reading those of others is educational, Theraputic and at times just damn funny.

Don't feel obligated if you don't wish to share....

[Michelle James]

I too am wondering about this. I am always worried that my tales of 24/7 cross dressing adventures will be construed as bragging. So i have backed off from posting as much. Never thought others could benefit from my experience

[Sally24]

A forum is all about interacting with others and sharing something of yourself. It doesn't have to be totally selfless to be useful to others. If narcasism was a crime, I'd be doing a life sentence!

[Danni Renee]

I agree with others that there is no responsibility to post but I have been so positively affected by posting threads and reading others threads that I always wish for more. Without reading the information here I would have never came out to those I have come out to recently. I would still be afraid of who I was and continue to feel alone. I am now making plans to go out in public thanks to reading of the exploits here so I think although there is no responsibility, it is a help to the whole community when people do post.

[Sara Jessica]

I find myself sharing little travelogues and/or pictures for about 1/3 to 1/2 of my outings. These writings picked up where I left off as I used to do such reports for friends via email. The writing for me has always been cathartic rather than narcissistic and thanks to yahoo letting us save pretty much unlimited emails, it is something to look back on here and there.

That said, narcissism has a rotten connotation and I'd quickly bow out of the writing game if it ever became a common belief that those of us who choose to write about our adventures were doing so out of sheer narcissism.

[Wendy_Marie]

The writing for me has always been cathartic rather than narcissistic and thanks to yahoo letting us save pretty much unlimited emails, it is something to look back on here and there.

That said, narcissism has a rotten connotation and I'd quickly bow out of the writing game if it ever became a common belief that those of us who choose to write about our adventures were doing so out of sheer narcissism.

I wholeheartedly agree with what Sara said here....Well Put!