Hey everyone. I am new to this forum and am enjoying all of the opinions and advice here. I am hoping someone would be willing to share some words of wisdom with me too.
I have been dating a guy for a year now. Just over a week ago he has opened up to me that he use to be a crossdresser. He says although he hasn't done it in a number of years that he still fantasizes about it and might want to do it in the future. He also admitted that as a way of dealing with these feelings, he has off and on for many years chatted online with men pretending to be a woman and occasionally this results in him getting himself off sexually.
I am very understanding of the crossdressing and would be more than willing to participate in the future if he would let me. He is so ashamed of this part of himself and has a very hard time talking to me about it. He says he wishes he could make it go away. I can see why he has turned to the chat as a private way of dealing with his needs. Nobody else knows but me. He is a very masculine person, says he only is interested in being in sexual relationships with women, wants a future with me but doesn't want me involved in this part of his life. He says I can ask questions and he will answer but nothing more. I told him that we are in this together and we have to both be flexiable.
I guess, all of this to say..I don't know where to go from here. I love him (all of him), want a future with him and can accept the crossdressing. The cyber stuff feels like cheating and my ex husband had an affair which makes it harder. It breaks my heart to see him so confused and ashamed when I feel like it is something we could embrace together. I need insight and advice on how to be supportive but not give up my feelings. I feel shut out.
Thanks everybody.