Men are supposed to be bigger than women

[Steph.TS]

this week I had a conversation with a coworker about nutrition, because I'm going to see a nutritionist I'm not going to say everything that was said, but I mentioned that part of my goal with the nutritionist is eat foods that improve my appearance like Vitamin E for healthy skin. I should point out I am thin, not muscular at all, I weigh 150 lbs, and I'm 6'2" tall. I'm closer to the women's ideal weight than I am to the ideal men's weight.

I was told that men should be bigger and strong than women, be masculine, now I don't want to give myself away, but I found that insulting to a point that because I was made this way, and I'm not happy with being male, I'm told that I have to play a role that is fundamentally opposed to my world view. why are men expected to be bigger and stronger? why is it that men and women have different diets and this is seen as a good thing when men are dying earlier deaths statistically speaking? I'm tired I trying to fit in playing a role that everyone expects me to play, even if I don't play that role well.

[Persephone]

Hi Steph!

Scrap the rules! Go with what feels right for you.

The truth is that men may be bigger and stronger than women in general, but that means it can be statistically true without being individually true.

There are a lot of guys bigger and stronger than I am. I even know a few women who are bigger and stronger than I am, but I eat my chicken and salads and avoid drinking beer and I'm fine with that.

So maybe you don't have to play the role unless you want to?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[eluuzion]

Why?

Because I said so young lady...now eat your vegetables and go to your room!


You... must, should, should not, have to, need to, will,would have, could have, should have, always, never, do the following...___________.

Or you will be a loser and never be happy in life. It's true, because I saw it on an infomercial, so it has to be true...

You know what they say...everybody knows that... it's a fact that...if it is on TV or in a book it is true, right? left?

Ok...go ahead...be an outcast...think for yourself...see where that gets ya' in life. Now please quiet down, the President is on TV...I need to hear this so I know what I am supposed to do tomorrow...

[Kaz]

There are people who know stuff and there are people who think they know stuff. Spot the difference?

I have a real problem with the growth of 'practitioner professionals' who sell their 'knowledge' when you have no idea whether their counsel is sound or not?

Statistically, the average size of men is greater than the average size of women. BUT.... there are very many small men (me included - lol) and very many big women (tall and/or wide)... so we are who we are I am afraid!

So what your nutrisionist said was probably technically correct in their head when they said it... BUT... the way they said it and the way you may have interpreted it is possibly different.

Eluuzion has made a great point... why should any of us totally believe the advice of others? It depends on who they are, what they know, and tons of other stuff...

Obama is not a wise super-being. He is a bright guy who is prepared to put himself into that position and he has tons of advisors... as does our guy Cameron Do I have absolute trust in these people? Is the pope a catholic?

Do I totally trust my doctor?

I am actually quite glad I am small from a CD perspective (though I think I am slightly above average height for a woman - 5'6"), From a male perspective, it has been a pain in the bum all my life and caused me major problems.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Are you looking at that with a western mind set . no many nations peoples are the same not every one is the same size .

& to make a real point of it what is the real womans size shape weight & height if you can answer that youll still be wrong its base on a false set of what or who ever came up with what he / her or them decided at the time , if it was true all women around the world would be robots the same. & no different for men go to Thailand & see the difference . its very false to even think that way.
& some women are a lot stronger than i & im very strong height 5 ,9 , weight 11 stone = 154 lb, yet similer to many women ,so rule that out ,
Many of our scottish people were a lot shorter over many years , why. think food or in this case lack of food intake or lack has changed socity drimaticly over the lasl 60 years .. for us in N Z better food water, & health tho its becomeing a problem & dare i say it fast food out lets. so over the last 20 years its a worse problem .over weight,

...noeleena...

[Cynthia Anne]

Pickle the rules, then can them! Live your life to please yourself! Otherwise the most important person in your life wont be happy! BTW 5ft 6in. at 140 lb = HAPPY!

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

Rules? Who said there are rules to life and what your body should conform to. Load of utter garbage. I should say hay, your nose is far too big for your face and is not feminine enough, or your ears poke out too far for your face shape. Or your breasts look like sun dried apricots. Bugger the rules. So FtM have the same problem and so do those who bodies fall out because of genetics. Its your body, not anyone elses and if you are happy with it, then I say bugger off you snooping idiot and mind your own business. Thats like saying a male should be shorter than the female, so how does that go for female basketballers or tall women who spend there time feeling alone because they appear to be abnormally taller.
Obviously she does not appreciate gays, or CD, or TG, TS,TV etc etc. I would suggest she needs to be educated but alas I guess she knows all and would be a tried and tested student. Such a time waster of talented teachers. Yes men and women perform roles in this world, they inhabit the earth equally and without stereo-typified ideas encrusted in neanderthalithic minds of a few.

[ReineD]

As long as your weight is within the normal range for your height and age, you're fine! The range is quite wide.

Here's an online body mass index calculator. But, do enter your birth gender, since birth men have different dietary needs than birth women. Both underweight men and women risk developing anemia, osteoporosis, immune system deficiencies, and infertility problems. Oral health is affected too.

http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/av.htm

[Steph.TS]

As long as your weight is within the normal range for your height and age, you're fine! The range is quite wide.

Here's an online body mass index calculator. But, do enter your birth gender, since birth men have different dietary needs than birth women. Both underweight men and women risk developing anemia, osteoporosis, immune system deficiencies, and infertility problems. Oral health is affected too.

http://www.halls.md/body-mass-index/av.htm

that's part of the problem, with male BMI I'm underweight, but with female weight I'm in the ideal range. I also fail to see why men and women have different dietary needs, and I suspect it's men's diets that are causing the male gender to die soon than women. Women generally take better care of their body not only through diet but are far more willing to see a doctor them men generally are I think men could learn alot from women in this respect.

[ReineD]

I also fail to see why men and women have different dietary needs,

I dunno Steph, I'm not a doctor. You could maybe google it. I expect it has to do with bone density, muscle mass, weight gain patterns, or metabolism among other things.

But if you are underweight for the male range, I'd check with an expert with a list of all the meds or HRT you may be on. You don't want to mess yourself up. You may also want to get blood work done on a regular basis to check for anemia, etc.

[Kaz]

Men and women do not have different dietary needs. the weight and BMI charts reflect different characteristics. If you are normal for a female and you want to be a successful CD... bonus! There is so much bull***t out there on diet... my advice... low protein (if you are over 30, if under hit the protein hard - nuts are good), big on veg & fruit, low on carbo... now if you want the traditional ideal man's body... pig out on the protein, low carb, no fat, and exercise like mad! As to the six-pack... most men have a six-pack, it is just hidden under the fat layer... answer? remove the fat layer. Exercise will just increase the muscle under the fat and you will get a bigger waist/abdomen!

[Eryn]

that's part of the problem, with male BMI I'm underweight, but with female weight I'm in the ideal range. I also fail to see why men and women have different dietary needs, and I suspect it's men's diets that are causing the male gender to die soon than women. Women generally take better care of their body not only through diet but are far more willing to see a doctor them men generally are I think men could learn alot from women in this respect.

I think that you've got it sussed. BMI is a statistical construct based upon a wide range of people and has little meaning for individuals. I'm 6'2" and 165 and felt that getting under 160 wasn't right for me. My father had a larger bone structure and would have been underweight at 165. If you have a small bone structure you might well be fine at 150. How do you feel and look? If bones are sticking out like a heroin chic model then you might have a problem, otherwise you're likely fine.

Statistically, men tend to have more bone mass and a greater muscle/fat ratio than women. Muscle is denser than fat, so men will weigh more than a woman of the same girth.

[CynthiaD]

It's true that men are bigger than women on the average. Also, on the average men like to wear men's clothing and women like to wear women's clothing. So who wants to be average?

Oh, and do get regular checkups with your doctor, no matter what size you are.

[ReineD]

Men and women do not have different dietary needs.

I did use the wrong term, sorry. I was thinking if Steph is underweight she needs to eat more.

Anyway, my son used to wrestle. There was a girl on his team (who went to States for her weight class, BTW ). She could beat the pants off of most boys. She had been wrestling since she was 4 and she knew all the moves. Although she was the same weight for wrestling purposes because this is how they are classed, she was consistently taller than her opponents. She had less weight per mass than her male counterparts.

Why was this? Aren't men heavier on average than women the same height? And if not, then why would the BMIs calculate differently for men than women?


EDIT Never mind. lol. I just saw Eryn's comment:

Statistically, men tend to have more bone mass and a greater muscle/fat ratio than women. Muscle is denser than fat, so men will weigh more than a woman of the same girth.

[seanmuscle]

Um has anybody seen asian guys out there. A lot of them are only 5 foot 3 to 5 foot 7 with cute petite frames. They blend in with girls perfectly.

[Karren H]

I don't strive to be the average anything...

[sometimes_miss]

I was told that men should be bigger and strong than women, be masculine.

Don't kill the messenger. They were just trying to help. The vast majority of women want a man who is bigger and stronger than she is herself. Even lots of gay men like men who are somewhat 'ripped'.
Men and women have different diets because they believe what they eat will determine how they look. Men die earlier deaths for a lot of reasons not connected to diet. In fact, there is no evidence that diet has anything to do with it at all; there are no controlled studies which have ever determined what is good for us or bad for us. It's all just a guess. Even the Framingham study wound up concluding that cholesterol levels aren't necessarily connected to diet, and that your lipid levels aren't indicitive of heart disease either (but they don't advertise that, because it goes against what they want everyone to believe). Doctors and nutritionalists are just trying to help the best they can, with what they currently believe to be the best advice. But they're not always right. Example: Once upon a time, we were advised to stop using butter and use margarine. But years later, it turned out that was wrong. The vast majority of preventitive medical advise is based on observation of people who already have a disease process, and then going backwards and trying to guess what caused it. It's not a very good method, but it's all we have. Another example; People taking drugs like lipitor and zocor for years are still having heart attacks; so, if controlling your cholesterol doesn't stop the heart disease process, why are we taking them? Because it's a gamble; we hope it stops some.
Eat what you want, have your physique like you want.

[Marie-Elise]

I don't think it's so much a rule as it is biological. I mean, men are, in general, bigger and stronger than women. Statistically, you will find that to be true as well. But then, my question is "So what?" I think just by being here we are out of the norm. So why worry about other norms? Just my two cents.

[kristinacd55]

Men are "usually" larger than women....it's that stuff called testosterone flowing through them that does it. But geez, there all types of either sex that are tall, short, thin, fat on both sides of the "scale". You're pretty much born with what you got, and you can certainly improve on it but not a lot.
6'2" sounds like a female model's body sweetie, you should be ecstatic with it!

[Taylor Skyrim]

Dont worry about your size, weight and health because each person is defferiant. I'm 6', have been down to 120 lbs. and have been the in the best health in my life. Now I'm 6' and about 135 lbs. trying to gain weight but no matter what I try I cannot gain the weight to save my life.

[InLucidReverie]

I'd have thought that as members of a forum like this most are taking the left hand path anyway. What should someone else's sexist values bother you for? Don't even think on it.

[Kaz]

Hey Jessica,

Good point. We need to be more right-brained in our thinking generally... the down side is that genes will 'out' and for many many men we will get bigger and broader as we grow older... and a lot of female attraction in men is for a bigger, broader, more muscular physique.. okay some look for brains and other stuff, but 'not a lot' in my experience. (OK hit on me GGs! I am worth it!)

I wish I had bigger hips, women are supposed to have bigger hips. I wish I wasn't 5'6", men are supposed to be 6' at least!

Oh I forgot... and have 'members' twice the size of mine!

[InLucidReverie]

5'6? I am jelous of that inch shorter than me that you are!

I wonder about that 'not a lot'. I have quite a selection of female friends both offline and on that prefer the pretty boy type? Perhaps not all of them would jump on the chance to date a CD or Tgirl, but pretty boys is quite the spreading attraction. Granted, perhaps, it may be more common among younger girls?

[Loni]

i have met some lady's i would want on my side in "that ally". but they are pretty as you please and would never get into a fight cause they would not want to break a nail. but if she did you would pay for it.
and some guys that a mild wind would blow away.
there are statistics and then there are statistics.

be very happy you are thin.

[Alice Torn]

There is nothing i can do, to make myself shrter and smaller. I am six foot six, 257. I dress up and look pretty nice, but, around my area, there are very few tall women, and, i stick out like a totem pole, and get read, unless fifty or more feet away! I would love to go out dressed in public more often. But, a tight end in a dress!