Let's talk about coming out of the closet. First I want to state that this discussion is for those who WANT to come out but are too scared to do it. I completely support the people who are happy being closeted for whatever reason. That's your business and NOT the subject of this discussion.
I want to talk about the girls and boys who wish they had the seeds to come out, but can only seem to muster excuses instead of courage.
There are an awful lot of gals here who have described themselves as "manly men" in their regular lives and I can't help but be fascinated by the dichotomy.
I also see a lot of male posturing in regard to self defense, or just kicking ass in general. The overwhelming majority of CDs on this board appear to be mostly closeted, as well as typically macho. On the face of it, it's easy to understand that a macho guy wouldn't want people to know he likes wearing dresses and heels, but on the other hand why would a macho guy give a damn about what other people thought?
Since I've come out at work I've learned a lot about myself, but I've also learned an awful lot about the men I work with. Since I'm in the construction industry, I'm literally surrounded by macho chest beaters. Some of them are blowhards but most of them are just real men who are totally secure in their masculinity. How do I know? Because I have flower ear rings and a girly pony tail and these guys don't give a damn. Sure we all give each other a hard time about whatever is easy (I bust the fat guy for having a tight shirt and he busts me for looking like a girl) but those guys have been far more supportive than I could ever imagine. They're even protective in a way. It's really kind of sweet and I love it when macho dudes have a sensitive side.
So what took me so long? Well my theory is I couldn't be honest with anyone else until I could be honest with myself. Basically, don't expect others to accept you when you can't even accept yourself. When I finally came to terms with who I was, coming out became almost easy. But, then again I would have never been mistaken for masculine, even when I was trying so hard to be.
I saw a movie a couple of years ago that made a big impact on me. I can't remember the name but it was a documentary about gay guys that were very masculine and didn't feel like they fit into the "scene". They looked and acted just like regular guys and they would fight right away if you dared to call them fags. My favorite subject in this doc, was a guy who was awesome looking. He was big and tall and had a great attitude and I was crushing hard, but he said something that still resonates with me. He was talking about how difficult it was for him to come out because he didn't want his friends to think less of him. He said the worst thing he could be was a wimp. Then he said he started noticing the fem gay guys who were out and proud. He noticed they didn't give a damn who knew and they weren't taking crap from anybody. Then he realized that because he looked like a "real man" he was able to hide in plain sight, unlike the femmy guys, who couldn't hide even if they weren't gay, and that's when he realized that he was being a total wimp by hiding. He decided the bravest thing he could do was be honest about who he was and just deal with it. He said it was a shame that these little guys were so brave and he was such a coward.
So my question is this; Do you want to come out? Got balls?