I am 100% hetero. I am only attracted to women. I do not want to look like a woman, I just enjoy wearing their underwear. I have never been attracted to a man.
I am 100% hetero. I am only attracted to women. I do not want to look like a woman, I just enjoy wearing their underwear. I have never been attracted to a man.
This is exactly how I feel too and is how I explain it when the inevitable question comes up. If they ask again I say “I’m 46 years old, if I felt any attraction to men, I’d know it by now. The best I could do is be a lesbian.”Originally Posted by Eryn
When a woman dresses like a man, it's ok. But when a man dresses like a woman, you think it's degrading. Because you think being a woman is degrading. -Madonna-
I am married to same woman over 25 years and 100% heterosexual. Absolutely no interest in mae at all.
I wrote,
Myself, as I get older, I know less and less. Things that I used to know, I've asked myself "Oh? How can you really be sure?It helps to read Isaac Singer's Gimpel The Fool from time to time.
(Also available as an animated story on YouTube, apparently.)
I can certainly understand your confusion and the question but I would guess some percent in the very high 90s. Crossdressing is not a sexual orientation thing. It's part of our self image.
I suspect this science article is relevant to this debate -- but I can't seem to figure out what they are saying!
I've been a girl inside my whole life, and tried to be the straight guy so to speak. But after coming out to my now ex GF, I've discovered how much I'm really attracted to men, and how much I enjoy them anatomically. I guess I'm in the minority.
I am going to agree with Samantha W. If I ha been born a girl i'd would have been a lesbian. But Eryn has made the best observation ever "in fact I'm so interested in women that I like to wear their clothes. I think the worst problem is not being able to talk like them and/or sound like them. They are sooo lovely, I say that about pretty much every single one. my wife is included, even thought she may be only 25% supportive of where I am.
I am also 100% heterosexual. Married, two kids and like all the guy stuff like sports and hunting. I just like how the clothes feel and make me feel. My wife knows and is supportive.
Like Jessica, I'm 100% hetero too, really enjoy how wearing some of the finer items of women's clothing makes me feel!
Bi crossdresser here only bi when dressed more into the **** and not the man attached though. I like how femine I feel when put in those girl situations
I'm a hetero married guy with kids. I'm totally fine with any of the girls here, TG TS CD GG. As Marleena I see all of the girls as my friends. I really don't care about anybody's sexuality.
I'm attracted to the female form, but I love the look and feel of a p***s and could go bi with a cd or ********. I don't want to be a woman, just feminine.
Relatively new to Cding, too!
Me, too, Cyndyo. Me, too!
Just like Maija says, but I am keeping an "open mind" about all this "incredible strangeness" that has so suddenly overwhelmed me, however!
Best of luck, L&R
M.
Can't say for the percentage, but I'll bet that it's much more than 50, and less than what you'll be told!
This says it all for me, too. Heterosexual. Want to be with women only. However, I have a strong feminine side, and love the feeling of how I look dressed. I'm pretty sure that had I been born female, I would have been a lesbian. However, that's a topic for another thread.
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
<- Hetero to 70-90%- never tried a man, and I will not try but I am not totally sure.
Shewwwww weeeee I think I am even more confused now!
I happen to be hetero, divorced with kids and in a relationship. Like many others here though, I think everyone in this forum is awesome, no matter what their sexual preference. I love all transgendered people!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
I hate threads like this as they always make me feel alone in the world. TG's and TG fans LOVE to go on and on about how strait they are and to show others that fact. With the only variations being those who insist they'd be Bi if they become a woman.
This time I am not reading this thread beyond skiming the first few entries as the last one I read (on Femurs TG comics forum page) left me very depressed.
I am hetero all the way and have had only one lover ever - my beautiful, passionate wife. I am sure it was hard for your SO to share this side of himself with you but he needed to do it. Don't take it personally. You don't have any shortcomings in his eyes and you have not failed him in any way. Ask lots of questions and try to understand his needs and tendencies. Set boundaries and indulge him to the extent you feel comfortable. I think after reading all of these responses and based on my own experience, you can be sure he is 100% hetero and most likely very devoted to you.
Eva
Cindyo, I only want to be with my wife and have never had any homosexual thoughts in my life. What I do like is to dress in beautiful clothing and for a short time feel the pleasures of being a woman. Walking into a store and making my way through the womens department dressed in a silky short dress, nude stockings, 4" pumps with medium length blond hair is the best. (this is what am wearing right now as a respond to your post). When I am out dressed as Susan I watch other women and don't even look at men. Once I get my cross dressing fix I undress Susan and return to the normal man a I'm. Cross dressing is a sport to me.
From your view, 100% hetro guy dressing as a girl would seem strange and wierd. I know I'm a bit wierd but have come to accept it. I like being male and female. On my male side, I have enjoyed boxing and all form of martial arts competitions but have had to stop recently. On my girl side I like to dress all the way, be as girly as possible and probably should have been a hairdresser doing womens hair but I have no interest in hanging with men when dressed. I only want to hang only with my wife, girls like us or gg's but I would not want to be intimate with any guy.
I'm very much attracted to men. Not easy to find a good one I must admit, but the search is very fun.
There are some huge differences between what Lesbians do, what guys do, and what transsexual MtFs do with women. A transsexual MtF would prefer activities that are much more like those of Lesbians.You got that right. The actual experience of being a lesbian is not the same as being a hetero guy visualizing how cool it might be to be a lesbian.
A cross-dresser, that is, a man who likes dressing as a woman, but enjoys being a man too, is likely to enjoy sex both ways, and may actually prefer sex as a man.
A fetish dresser, a man who enjoys certain items of clothing, is more likely to enjoy sex as a man, while wearing the specific items.
Yes, many of them, in Colorado Springs, Denver, New York City.Ever go to a lesbian bar?
There are many different lesbian clubs with many different types of clientele. There are clubs where the women are a bit heavy, a bit more masculine, and a bit more aggressive. For me, I enjoyed going to these clubs and having the girls hit on me, and dance with me, but very often they made love more like boys too. Hot heavy and intense, but they were more like guys in that there wasn't as much foreplay and more desire to get their pleasure, and mine, relatively quickly. On the other hand, for a GG or even a TG who wants to be swept off her feet, these places love it when a femme comes in and wants to party with them.
There are also clubs I call "Cotton" clubs, because the women usually wear jeans or pants, cotton camisoles or shirts, an loose fitting cotton blouses. They are fun places to go, and for the most part, the girls there are very friendly. When I go to these clubs I'll usually wear denim skirts and nude or tan hosiery, and get many offers to dance, as well as invitations to do more. On the other hand, there was one time when I caught the interest of a Bisexual woman (known as a "Ding Ding"), and her girlfriend wanted to get me out back where I would get neutered with a jack-knife. Fortunately, a few of the other girls who knew me got word, and did everything they could to prevent that from happening. When I finally heard about it, I said "I'm almost tempted to go back there and let them do it", but when the reminded me that this would be without anesthesia and might involve other things as well (a "Lorena Bobbit"), it made me pause just long enough for them to get the would-be perpetrators calmed down.
There are "Leather" Clubs - Many "Alternative Lifestyle clubs" like the Vault, or Hawgs, or some of the other leather clubs provide some very interesting variations for the girl with something extra. There are many women in this circle who are mostly lesbian, but bisexual, who love having a TG who is eager and willing to submit to forced feminization as well as bondage, discipline, and humiliation. I've had limited success in these clubs, because I'm a switch. I can enjoy being the domina, but I can also enjoy being the sub even more. I was a very good domme, and women loved my touch, which is much more like what women to women, than when men tend to do to women.
There are "Satin" clubs, where there are lots of women in shorter skirts, shiny fabrics, sheer hosiery, and in general a lot of Lipstick Lesbians. This was also an interesting place to meet bisexual women who wanted the girl with something extra. Many loved that I was so femme, and at the same time was obviously not gay, and obviously not your "Typical Man in a Dress".
Unfortunately, not being attracted to men was a liability in terms of HRT and SRS consideration. In the original Harry Benjamin papers, even someone who knew they wanted to be a girl, was often advised NOT to go further because they would still have to struggle with the social consequences of being a lesbian after the procedure. These standards have been gradually changed as lesbian or bisexual relationships are more widely accepted in society as a whole.
Again, it depends on which bars. Smaller cities, especially in the southwest have very few clubs for Lipsticks and in many clubs, the Lipsticks are referred to as "Pixies" because they are generally shorter, thinner, less muscular than even average women. They often hang in a group in a corner of the bar, and are a bit cliquish. Once of the reasons I moved East was because I had learned that there were not only many lesbian bars and clubs for Lipsticks, but also there were more "Mixed" clubs where there were many transgenders and cross-dressers as well as many bisexuals.Ever notice how, on average, the girls have a different sort of look from the girls in straight bars?
Absolutely true. Furthermore, there are different degrees of both sexual identity and sexual preference. The Kinsey scale for preference, had six degrees and was extended to 7. The Benjamin ranking also had 7 degrees. And then you have to consider both genders, which gives you a possibility of 14 degrees across the scale, from the totally heterosexual man and totally heterosexual woman, to the totally homosexual man and the totally lesbian woman. Then you have 14 degrees of gender identity. This results in roughly 196 permutations possible. Even if we have the 7x7 matrix, that's 49 different combinations for a given genetic gender. And this person could chose from possible 98 combinations of partner (48 male, 48 female).This raises the issue of a difficult truth: Sexual orientation and gender identity are not the same thing, but they are related.
Right Wing Conservative Fundamentalist organizations say that "ALL NORMAL PEOPLE" are Alpha male masculine exclusively heterosexual in thought and action, attracted only to Totally feminine female who is ONLY attracted to Alpha Males. The presumption being simple Darwin theory that Alpha males would prevent feminine males from breeding, and that they would refuse to mate with a partner who wasn't feminine. If you think about it, that is totally absurd!
Yet we see in practice, that even within these movements, there are numerous effeminate men, and numerous masculine women. In fact, Bisexuality may be the norm, with more feminine men being attracted to more masculine women, and masculine women being attracted to effeminate men. So if a very feminine woman wants a fully feminized man, would she still be heterosexual? Or would she be a bisexual? Conversely, if cross-dresser were attracted to women who were a bit heavier, more sexually aggressive, and more dominant, would they be heterosexual, or would the be bisexual?
Fortunately, the urge to perpetuate the species (sexual arousal) overrides mathematics. Most people have a spectrum that they would be willing to consider that may fall outside their "ideal" range, especially if that someone near their ideal actively expresses interest and attraction. A mostly heterosexual man my find a transsexual woman, even a pre-op, very arousing and attractive, and if she were to actively express her attraction, might actually be attractive to a bisexual man who was primarily attracted to women, or a bisexual WOMAN who was primarily attracted to women.
Social and cultural pressures, however, can motivate a wider range of attractive partners of the OPPOSITE sex than of the same sex. So a bisexual woman who is primarily attracted to women might be more inclined to consider a cross-dresser or transsexual (pre-op or post-op), as would a bisexual man. Conversely, a bisexual man might be more attracted to a more "butch" woman and may be less inclined to consider even a cross-dresser.
The transitioning process itself can cause this. As a transitioning person gets better at passing, better at being attractive, and better at courtship rituals appropriate to their new gender, they may tend to have more offers from those they had previously not considered candidates. For example, if an MTF TG starts living full-time as part of transition, she is more likely to get approached by men, who simply find her attractive, and women who are more feminine might view her more as competition, rather than as dating material. Given a few months of being aggressively approached by men who are willing to treat her like she's something special, want to dance with her, buy her drinks and dinners, and can get very seductive, or a beautiful Lipstick Lesbian who doesn't want to let on that she's bi, or a bisexual woman who might approach you discretely, but will soon after be approached by a man who is interested in a 3-way, but not with the "Drag Queen".If one shifts, the other can too. I've known plenty of folks who, after transitioning, switched to 100% men. How about them pink apples?
If you are an MtF, you can go into a gay bar or mixed bar, start dancing with the girls, and have a young man who is attracted to you wanting to "cut in". Or he may approach you and offer to buy you a drink and then ask you to dance. If he is gentle, takes it slow, and takes the time to get you aroused - even though he knows that you're in transition, it becomes a far more attractive offer than the girls who are flirting but may take weeks to know well enough that they will approach you directly. Over time, as transition progresses, as HRT softens the curves and adds new features, there are more offers, a wider selection of men, and an ever smaller selection of women.
After SRS, if the procedure goes well, you are able to enjoy all forms of sex with a man, including vaginal penetration. Men become even MORE attractive, and the range of men now extends to a wide range of bisexual tops as well as open minded heterosexual men.
In reality, both identity and preference are usually in flux. Even the most heterosexual man will see some men they find very attractive, and will see some women as unattractive.
There are far more than just the skin-to-skin aspects to consider as well. An MtF who meets a man who is very attracted, treats her very well, and wants to provide for her could easily give up the issue that he isn't the girl of his dreams, might even have a few extra pounds, and might have some thinning hair. If he can also make the bells ring in the bedroom, how can a girl refuse.
For me, I've had some very unpleasant experiences of men that I would have to overcome to be attracted to one. I've had certain situations, when I was fully pretty, that a handsome man would make an offer that was really attractive, that I almost went for it. Like being in my black leather skirt, thigh high boots, black leather jacket, and as I'm walking into the bar, a very handsome guy with a nice build, no beard stubble, and wearing leather chaps, gets off his Harley and asks if I want a ride. In that moment, I'm thinking Hell yeah, you give me a ride on that rolling vibrator and then I'll give you a ride with me in the front and you in the back-door.As for me, I'm "half gay, half girl" (bisexual crossdresser). I can't date manly men, but I do like tall, smooth, and pretty guys. Also I can't date girly girls. They have to be sort of tomboyish. My "either/or" sexuality is a mirror of my "either/or" gender, and I think that's the truest equilibrium I may ever find on the spectrum. Inside and out.
But even as my eyes light up and I start to say yes, I have flashbacks of throwing up while trying to give a blow-job, getting beat up by the boys in 2nd through 8th grade, and the guys who raped women I knew and loved, and suddenly his black chaps and black jacket are more threatening. I tell him I'd like to go in and dance for a while first, but could I take a rain-check. He nods, and I never see him again. He probably just figured I was a tease, or a hustler.
On the other hand, I have had wonderful relationships with very masculine women. I am attracted to the girly-girls, but I'm not willing to be out-bitched. I am a patient and kind lover, and I can do wonderful things for my partner, but beautiful girly-girls tend to expect it, and if you can't give them want they want, the just call out "Next" and there's someone else ready to take your place.
The women I've had the most wonderful relationships with, the ones who I enjoyed the most were a bit heavier, had deep voices, were very aggressive and aggressively seductive, and weren't afraid to let me know in no uncertain terms that they wanted ME, and they wanted me IN THE DRESS, and they wanted my feminine side. I've had those kinds of tom-boy girls come onto me thinking I'd be a good one-night stand - who ended up together with me for a year or more. One even married me. We're still married. I have no trouble sorting the laundry. The cottons are hers, the silkies are mine. The darker colors of blue, red, and brown are hers, the pastels are mine. The baggy loose fitting pants are hers, the stretchy form-fitting ones that show my butt off, are mine. Sometimes, when I have go some place in drag (boy mode), I will borrow her clothes. I have enough dress shirts and dress pants to pass for a week and do laundry, but even then I have to put on a camisole or T-shirt that will minimize the "points" that might otherwise draw attention.
Even though the identity at the core doesn't change (I'm a girl on the inside), my expression often does. When my wife threatened to get force supervised visitation (a few hours in a stark room with a social worker watching your every move - and any inappropriate behavior, such as feminine gestures, could be grounds for revoking visitation, and INCREASING child support), I had to put my transition plans on the skids. On the flip side, when, just before my dad died, he told me to "Be yourself" - knowing that he had seen my pictures of Debbie and reviews of books about gender changing - the urge to transition became stronger than ever because he had been the one person I didn't want to hurt who told me he would be hurt. My wife supports my cross-dressing, but she's not so keen on the idea of transition. I'm looking for a therapist in NJ now.
The question posed in the thread is nearly impossible to answer. Because it's so dynamic.
Posting Permissions
