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Thread: What % are truly hetero

  1. #26
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momarie View Post
    But as a woman who has known a man for decades and then finds out he has been with another man, either with another cross dresser or a guy who couldn't admit he was attracted to his male parts....what is she to think?

    And PLEASE don't give me the "Male Lesbian" rhetoric, it may be true for one in a million but not true for all who want to hide when it suits them.

    Valid point.

    In the words of sex columnist Dan Savage (who is gay, btw) , what people seek is not deviation, but variation.
    I won't be the first to admit that some CD'ers find thrill in the roleplay with having sex with a man, they exist.
    Not my thing. .....that's just me.

    I don't know if this applies to your male friend, but I get the sense that some people are just complicated.

    My explanation of me is simple: I just want freedom to express myself, and i don't like the rules society imposes on people without justifcation. I'm about as boringly monogamously hetero as it gets.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 09-06-2011 at 09:23 PM.

  2. #27
    the happy camper
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    Some statistics on infidelity.

    http://infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html

    Percentage of men who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 57%

    Percentage of women who admit to committing infidelity in any relationship they've had: 54%
    Based on statistics, if a woman has a husband who is either heteroflexible or bi-curious, the chance that he will have an affair with another man is greater than zero. But given that such a man is mostly attracted to women, the chance that he will have an affair with another man is still considerably less than the chance that he will have an affair with another woman.

    Another statistic:

    Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%
    If people started making decisions based on what might happen, then no one would get married.

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Cari's Avatar
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    Cindy my personal theory is that as crossdressers we are a small segment of the population within our segment all types are represented.
    I believe that among crossdressers you could pick any demographic and the break down would pretty much be the same as in the whole population.
    The only exceptions would be that I think CD's are more Liberal, smarter, funnier and beter looking than the whole population :-)

  4. #29
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I am a man, and certainly truly hetero!! As a matter of fact, I will say with all sincerity and honesty that the only lady I ever had sex with was the lady I was married to for almost 50 years! I sincerely doubt that many CD's can state that!! I guess it was the way I was raised!!
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  5. #30
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    My sexuality has nothing to do with my clothing habits. I am a married guy and happily married to the same woman, since forever. I can not get the clothes that I like to wear outside of the womens department section of most stores. They are only clothes, and they cover my "birthday suit", so why shouldn't I get to enjoy what I wear? If some guy wanted to wear a camo shirt and pants, why can't I wear a cami, and panties?
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  6. #31
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Women are also the only thing in my interest level. And specifically my wife. Not interested in men and there are a very large portion of CD'ers that are the same as me.

  7. #32
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CINDYO View Post
    I have been with him for more than 24 years and i had absolutely no idea. I was totally shocked, He has never even seemed anything but male. He does not like to shop, decorate for christmas or care how i choose home decor. He has been very sensitive to me always and i suppose looking back now with 20/20 vision maybe he was more in tune to how a girl feels than so other guys would be. We are in our 50's that is probably why i am so shocked at this news. I really don't see anything femme about him. i have never really questioned his masculinity. i qm quite confused but i never want to live without him. he is my solemate and i hape and pray we stay that way, it will be a work in progress that is for sure. thanks
    Cindy, I can only tell u about me. But, I do have something in common with your SO. I started dressing in my 50's. I'm pretty sure I'm not gay, because I've never been attracted to male parts, including my own!

    However, because I'm attracted to females, crossdressers that APPEAR TO BE EXTREMELY FEMALE r attractive to me! If the same is tru for your SO it's something for u to watch. I've read about MANY CDs here that have fantasies about "being with a man or another CD". Not saying that could happen to your SO, just sayin' keep an eye out.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #33
    Swans have more fun! sandra-leigh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CINDYO View Post
    My question is- What % of CDers do you think are truly hetero.
    This is something that is difficult to get numbers for. Many CD's will not admit to anyone that they "cross-dress", not even in anonymous surveys. The number who will further admit that they are bi or gay is even smaller. Even just to get realistic CD-ing figures, the surveys often have to approach the question indirectly, such as asking "have you ever worn your wife's underwear?". Still, the survey numbers are all over the place even for that, with some researchers reporting percentages as low as 0.01% (in in 10000) for crossdressing, and other researchers reporting figures as high as 60%! There are some approximate figures about the prevalence of cross-dressing that been found in several surveys, but I myself personally know more crossdressers in my city than the survey rates would suggest.

    To get from there to how many are "truly hetero"... well, it's something no-one can really answer.

    Myself, as I get older, I know less and less. Things that I used to know, I've asked myself "Oh? How can you really be sure? 'Never' is a pretty long time, and a pretty absolute statement. Things change, people change, circumstances change: who are you to say 'Never'?" And so it is that I no longer know that some kind of sexual interaction with a male is out of the question for me. It just seems more than a little unlikely.

  9. #34
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    I consider myself a lesbian.
    I was told that your sexual identity and sexual preference are typically established very early, usually when you first start getting sexually aroused. If you imagine yourself as a man having sex with a woman, (or vice versa), then you are hetero. If you are a woman and you imagine having sex with a man, you are hetero. If you are a man and you imagine yourself as a man having sex with a man, then you are gay.

    Being transgendered complicates things. If a boy imagines himself having sex as a woman with a man, it's actually a heterosexual fantasy.

    In my fantasies, I'm a beautiful woman with long hair, a satin blouse, short skirt, stockings, and heels. I'm dancing with a woman in a similar outfit and we go somewhere to make love - like two women. Even in real life, I prefer using a magic wand on my "clit" while covered by tight panties and to lesbian things with my partner. Regular intercourse doesn't even make the "top 20".

    Often transgendered heterosexual men who are only attracted to women, will have fantasies of sex with men, but would be more inclined to limit these experiences to something involving a strap-on rather than a real man.

  10. #35
    Silver Member DebbieL's Avatar
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    I don't remember the exact survey, but the most commonly quoted number I've heard is that roughly 75% of all cross-dressing men are exclusively attracted to women.

  11. #36
    Member Meg East's Avatar
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    According to the "experts" most cder are heterosexual. For me, 50 of my 60+ years have been as a cd. Have been married to the same woman for almost 39 years. Hey we have an interest together; buying skirts and shoes.

    Don't fall for the stereotype that a guy in a dress must be gay.

  12. #37
    Member JohannaSophia's Avatar
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    That is well said Jessica. JohannaSophia
    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaSecret View Post
    I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.

  13. #38
    Trans woman BiancaEstrella's Avatar
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    The clothing I like to wear has nothing to do with whom I like to take to bed.

    I've only liked to sleep with women -- can't even wrap my brain around sleeping with a man -- and wearing a dress & heels doesn't change that.

    I empathize with the GLBTQ community but then, I empathize with everyone so long as their heart is in the right place.
    "Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
    Oscar Wilde

  14. #39
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    Cindy, there is a lot of information on this thread. I am not sure that the stats will help you as your SO could be anywhere within them and you probably don't know where he is. Second guessing doesn't help, though I can appreciate that you want to be prepared for whatever... My experience of being in our fifties is that we start to question a lot about our lives. Some of us want to stick to what we know and trust and some of us want to explore things that we have held back all our lives. In my experience most CDs are hetero. Those that are gay knew it from an early age.

    From my own perspective, when I get into female mode in my head (whatever that means) I fantasise about what it must be like to be a woman with a guy, and to be honest, some of my dreams/fantasies are quite graphic, but I have never been with a guy and am just not interested in real life. I am attracted to women, and my CDing is probably an expression of that. I am SO attracted to women that I want to share their world.

    I hope that makes sense?
    Kaz xx

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  15. #40
    Duality sometimes hurts.. PetiteDuality's Avatar
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    Statistics are useless to answer the questions, doubts and fears you have.

    It doesn't matter if 99% of CDers are gay or straight. You only care about your guy.

    Just ask him, and let him know how you feel.

  16. #41
    New Member Aki Aizawa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessicaSecret View Post
    I can understand that it's easy to get gender-identity and sexual orientation mixed up. Traditions are hard to shake! I found (with the help of talking with my wife) that my desire to dress as female comes from my adoration of females. I think woman are so much more attractive and sexy then men are. So, part of me wants to experience feeling that attractive and I can only see feeling that way through portraying the ones that I find so beautiful...women.
    Its the same for me. I'm attracted to women so much I want to have a bit of it for myself. If the medical techniques and were to dramatically improve in the future I would have a close look at transitioning but the way they are now I think I would be unhappy with the results. After saying all that I would still only be attracted to women even if I were transgendered.

  17. #42
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    From what I've been able to observe on this forum, the sexual preferences are about identical in percentage to the general population of males. Gender identity does not correspond to sexual preference; there seems to be little or no correlation. Plus there are certain advantages for an SO; increased empathy, a better sense of form, color and, hopefully, appropriateness of dress (something you can assist him with; he will be VERY grateful, if approached diplomatically). Look at this as an opportunity to become even closer. If he wanted to leave, he would have done this long ago. If you're curious, my SO and I were together for 44 years until I lost her in June. She knew as soon as I did, but it took ME 50 years to figure it out (yeah, I know, slow on the uptake).
    Best wishes,
    Donna
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  18. #43
    Life is for having fun. suzy1's Avatar
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    I am the same as Debbie.
    I do have a feminine side. Suzy is a part of who I am.
    But Suzy is 100% lesbian.
    That should put your mind at rest I would have thought Cindy.

    Best wishes, SUZY

  19. #44
    Member SallyS's Avatar
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    20 years of marriage and 4 kids. I NEVER once slept with anyone other than my wife during that time!
    As I've got older the CD'ing has become more of a relaxing past-time, not such a sexual part of me.

    Technically I am a 100% practising hetro guy, who likes to put on a dress every now and then

    But those who are not....well then that's their life choice....and I'm sure most are happy with that?

  20. #45
    Member Katie83's Avatar
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    My wife asked me the same question when i told her about Katie. I think am 100% hetero. I love my wife very much and have no interest in being with anyone else. Katie is just a fun part of me, not really any different to liking classic cars etc. Unless your husband has given any reasons to think otherwise i would believe him when he says that he is straight.
    Katie

  21. #46
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    Thanks everyone for the replies to my question % really hetero. I am listening and I do believe that he is straight. It is only difficult in the sense that i feel he did not tell me this secret till now and we have been married for 24 years so i wonder is this all there is or is there more that he has not told me. You are right i will have to live and watch and hope to restore the trust that i thought we had for our entire relationship. i will hope for the best and i will quietly deep inside know that i have to in someway prepare for the worst, hoping all the while that it will never happen.

  22. #47
    Gold Member erickka's Avatar
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    I'm another who ONLY likes WOMEN. I don't care if they're drop dead model gorgeous or the girl next door type, I love them all!

  23. #48
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    CINDYO

    100% hetero. Never any interest in men or male anatomy.

    You have had a trusting loving relationship for 24 years. Talk and talk, I think that your love of each other will mean that he will not lie. This is going to be his deepest and darkest secret. He has now told you. He has probably struggled with the question of whether he is gay or not and hopefully has the answer only he can know. He has humbled and exposed himself completely by telling you of this so I do not think he would try to keep any further secrets.

    Talk, love, believe. If you love each other enough you will overcome any hurdles.

  24. #49
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    100% hetero. here also. Sometimes the internet can be misleading in that, often you see upfront, the cd'ers or more precisely, gender enhanced people that may be transitional in nature that are not hetero, i.e., porn sites, etc. because they committed to earning a living the best way they know, etc. in furthering their plight to GRS, SRS, etc, for example. Another misleading event is any PRIDE parade. These sorts of parades in my opinion, shed a negative light on crossdressing overall, and mislead the public, ie, walking with a dark beard wearing a tu-tu-(sic) and leotards in ballerina slippers. One has to keep in mind the majority of cd'ers are still in the closet and to try to guage what % is what, is near impossible , not that it should matter in a perfect world, but for most, it still does. I'm fortunate enough to finally be out of the closet so I walk without fear of being 'discovered' and it feels wonderful. I care not what anyone thinks, it's my life.

  25. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    Valid point.

    In the words of sex columnist Dan Savage (who is gay, btw) , what people seek is not deviation, but variation.
    I won't be the first to admit that some CD'ers find thrill in the roleplay with having sex with a man, they exist.
    Not my thing. .....that's just me.

    I don't know if this applies to your male friend, but I get the sense that some people are just complicated.

    My explanation of me is simple: I just want freedom to express myself, and i don't like the rules society imposes on people without justifcation. I'm about as boringly monogamously hetero as it gets.
    I totally agree. The moment there is any hint of a shelf or box I am heading in the other direction. Like most I thought I was 100% hetro. That is until the last few years have rolled around and changed me as I got more comfortable with being me. It is more from the heart/mind/emotional then physical male-on-male that blurs my mind. I don't know who or what I am so I must be bi (to try fit into the closest box). When my wife and I would have adult relations at times we would both reverse roles. Frankly it was wonderful. I've never been with a man, I don't look at men in that way, but if the opportunity came along I know I would let it happen, just to see and feel the cerebral fireworks. If I have lived for eons of past lives then I have been female for many of them. Bottom line, I think this is why I have a lot more focus on me as a person then me as a crossdresser.

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