I agree with you.Originally Posted by ElusiveGirl
I think what is meant by the statement that gender ID and sexual orientation are separate, is that it is entirely possible to have same sex attraction. But this doesn't mean the sexual orientation can't change when there are hormonal changes as the result of transition.
Reine
For me 100% hetero! I give GG's credit for finding males attractive!
I'm 100% heterosexual. I've never given any consideration to engaging in same sex activity, although in my youth gays tried to pick me up. Girls too! But my wife would scratch their eyes out without regard to their sexuality. But, seriously, there is nothing feminine about me- looks, mannerisms. hobbies, etc. When Steve is there, it's all male. When Stephanie is there, she is all female. Now, that does not mean Steve will not engage in traditional female activities. Don't through rocks at me. I actually got on hands and knees today in grab to clean the F-ing toilet. I would never do that in one of my pretty dresses.
The vast majority of cross dressers are heterosexual. I think they may be more committed in their relationships with their wives because they are cross dressers and have similar inner feelings. Just take a look at the stats for wandering men AND women. And, the vast majority of gay guys are NOT cross dressers.
And, there are many different types of cross dressers. In my opinion a person who has a fetish for wearing one particular type of feminine garment is not a cross dresser. To be a cross dresser you need to identify with the inner beauty of the female of our species- not her outward attire!
Someone suggested to me that maybe, probably I was gay, and that there was nothing wrong with it. I didn't think it was true, but as a scientist, I decided to run a test. Went to the gym. Looked at the guys in the locker room. Not the smidgen of a tingle. Not at all. Went to my Body Pump class, which is predominently women. Cute girl in front, cute girl to the right. Cute girl to the left. Tingle to the front, to the right and to the left. Happily married for 33 years, so it was just lust in the heart, but answered my question. Hetero.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
ooooooooooooo! I LOVE opinion polls! 60% of all CDers are gay the rest just haven't figured it out yet!
I'm 100% into everyone. Except for the people I'm not into.
I recently began going to a Transgender support group locally, and similar topics of discussion have been raised there. Honestly a clear answer is hard to come by, especially with statistics. If you look at Craigslist, for example, you'll see the number of Transwomen seeking men to far outnumber those seeking women. But, one has to wonder how many of those are prostitutes looking for work, so that tilts the numbers, especially when they might not be attracted to men, but just looking for money.
It appears there's plenty of CDs that are closeted, keeping it a deep secret from everyone around them. So, with that in mind, what's the chances of ever getting a true picture of how many are out there?
When I've asked in the meetings about sexual orientation, it seems most Transwomen don't change. But, there are some that do have feelings that develop in them towards others like themselves. So, if that is the case, how do you define that? Let's say one pre-op M2F Transgender is attracted to another pre-op M2F Transgender. What does that make them? Gay, lesbian, straight, hetero, bi, or ... ? I think we can all agree that scenario makes things a bit blurry.
Could it be that we are looking for acceptance, don't find it the way we like, and feel compelled to accept someone else the way we wish we could be accepted? Could that be why a self described hetero male (now Transwoman) could come to have a relationship with another like herself?
So in answer to your original question, like others on this thread, I am and always have been attracted to female, and want to look as much like them as possible. I feel it's the greatest compliment I can pay.
Ann
First of all let me state that I am certainly in the Hetero category and have always been.
I don't claim to speak for all of us, but I'm sure that the vast majority are hetero. Whether the majority are or not really has no bearing on your SO. We are individuals and what you should be focusing on is your SO and his status. By determining what percentage of us are or are not does not change him in the least.
This of course is a topic that we all discuss when we come out to our spouses. It was a topic for my wife and I and I certainly understand why it needed to be discussed.
It may seem a "strange thing" for a hetero guy to do, but it's not something that we CHOSE. It's something that is a part of us. It's not like picking what shirt to wear or what color car to buy. It's something inherent.
Focus on him, focus on your relationship, focus on how this relates to you both and not where he lies in the ranking of cd's in general.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
As others have said, its doesn't matter what percent are "truly heterosexual". Some are gay, some are straight. The fact the 2 of you have been together for so long and you never once questioned his sexuality before should prove to you he is straight.
To be honest, i think 90% of crossdressers are hetero while the other 10% are bisexual. Why would a gay guy crossdress when he is into men, think about it..........
That's exactly what my gay cousin said when I came out to him a few years ago, when I was asking him the difference between a crossdresser and a drag queen.
The problem is with the cultural expectation of what "gay guy" means. Also, an astonishing number of "hetero" CD's seem to want to get into my pants. I wonder what that could imply? It may not be "by the book" GAY, but it ain't straight either. More like bi or heteroflexible.
I think the same reasons why an hetero guy crossdress, think about it......
Speaking for myself only I'm only interested in women. In fact, so interested in them that I like to wear their clothes and makeup. Further, I can't figure out what they find attractive in men. That double-X chromosome is some powerful drug.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I am a crossdresser, and have not been lucky enough or smart enough to make a marrige last. So I am 79 % hetro and 21 % open. Open being the key word.
From Madrid to Montreal that underneath it all that Tina prefers pantyhose
to express their feminine side, every man has a feminine side, but most don't express it
I'm hetero.
Fully transitioned trans people dont bother me either. I'm not into outies.
Sorry if I'm too forward and bold here.
You never know. I love women, but I long for a gay sexual relationship. I wear women's clothes and want to be a woman... You never know...
I'm heterosexual but if I had a vagina I would go for the guys because I usually prefer their company over women. I find women to complicated and moody. Of course if I had a vagina I probably would find men to complicated and moody and want to go for the women if I had a penis. Life Sucks !
Cindyo
You could be describing me perfectly
I don't like to shop, at least for men's clothes
Could care less how the house is decorated for Christmas
As for Home decor I think my wife uses to many pillows LOL
I've been dressing of an on since I was 4 or 5, now 53. I do love to shop for Jill clothes, especially shoes! I'm happily married to my best friend, have 2 lovely daughters that I am looking forward to being provided grandchildren by and of course 100% hetero. A lot of the good qualities you have seen in your SO can be related to the balance of his masculine and feminine sides. I wouldn't worry about his sexual orientation any more now than you worried about prior to finding out he is a CD.
Hugs
Jill
Barbara has it right.
Think about what difference does it really make percentage wise who does what and what gender they prefer? We all have dreams and maybe if we actually brought some of those dreams into our "real" life it would eliminate the excessive need to survey people and create percentages of a random selection of the population. The more that I read on here the more it makes me want to act on my suppressed fantascies. Please forgive me but I am tired of all the statistics and percentages in our lives.Live free and just be safe when you decide to live out your fantascies. You will never know if like someone or something unless you try it. Don't be a percentage in life, it is not the right way to live it.
Rebecca
Hi Cindyo,
I know this is quite an old topic at this point, but I wanted to add to the pile anyway.
More of the same, I am heterosexual. I have dressed for over fifty years, since I was ten, am happily married to the same woman for almost forty years. We have raised two normal, successful happy daughters.
Life is good.
Its obvious just from looking around that most CDers posting on the site are hetero. My impression is that maybe a few more are gay or bi than among non-CDers, but only a few and thats just my impression.
That is just this site o'course and "birds of a feather flock together" ... different CD sites do attract different kinds of people. But I have seen a bunch of them and not noticed that any particularly collect straight/gay/bi people.
Likewise I think the CDers we do hear from are probably pretty representative of those we dont hear from altho obviously none of us can prove that one way or another.
One thing tho... its easy to get the wrong impression because a lot of us (yes even those of us who are straight) have fantasies about doing it as a woman, with a man ... so you do have to answer the question "what does truly hetero mean?"
Personally I think if people get past their inhibitions most of them enjoy the actual act of doing it regardless of what sexes were the people involved. At least that seems to be true a lot of the time when people get drunk!
First, Wiki is rampant with inaccuracies, so don't rely on that as a source. It's interesting reading, but over the years I've found quite a number of errors there. After all, anyone can edit and change their material. Which is great and terrible at the same time. Now back to our regularly scheduled topic.
There's no way to know exactly what percentage of us are 'strictly' heterosexual. If you really are suspicious of your mate having homosexual desires, you have to watch how he acts and behaves. Anyone watching me would easily know that I have no interest in men at all. If you want an easy test, put him on the beach and see what he looks at. Does he spend a large amount of time looking at guys even if there are spectacular looking women in scanty bathing suits around? That can tell you something. Is he able to determine easily how attractive a man is to women? (regular men, not movie actor quality, those are obvious). Does he constantly comment on how good some men look? Has he EVER said about another man 'Wow he's really hot!". All these are clues. Not definitive, perhaps, but it all gives you some idea about how interested he is in other men's appearance. Most guys.....don't give a crap about what other men look like. We don't notice their suits, can't tell you what shoes they wear, whether they're wearing a single or double breasted suit, nothing. We usually are lucky to be able to tell you what color shirt or suit he wears at all. I know, there are some men who are into fashion. But they are rare.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
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