Has anyone gone through this?

[GirlyBits]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah. Well when I look at the girl with them I have a very very hard time distinguishing weather or not I want to "do" them or "be" them. Has anyone ever gone trough anything like this?

[TGMarla]

Ha! The ol' "do her or be her" thread, arisen again from the dead, like an old zombie movie that just won't die, much like the characters in it! Hi GirlyBits. I know you're relatively new here, so welcome. This question has been bandied about on this forum for years. It's been discussed, affirmed, dismissed, trashed, tossed about, put through the shredder, placed in the oven with the gas turned on, thrown over a cliff, and put down the disposal at least a few dozen times here.

So get ready for a regular free-for-all, especially when our much loved and respected GGs get ahold of you!

[SIZE=1](And yes, I think most of the 'guys' here have felt this way at one time or another!)[/SIZE]

[Karren H]

Usually the first thing I think is "god I love that purse!!".

[suchacutie]

Since I've been married to a completely supportive wife for 38 years, the "do her" piece just isn't a part of the equation, so my response these days always is the same: "Wow...she looks great...what is she doing that makes her look great?" Is it shape, presence, makeup, hair, choice of clothes (or not, as the case may be), shoes, accesories, voice, etc. In fact, it's very useful to make this analysis and apply it to what we wish to be!



tina

[GirlyBits]

Lol funny enough that's pretty much my first thought, "omg I wish I could find those shoes in my size!"

TGMarla, I guess people have gone through this lol! Please make sure the GG's are gentle ! Hah!

[MisterMark_1]

haha when my mates say this. i do choose weather i would do her or not, but what diffrent is that when i see a hot girl i think, those are hot shoes or skirt etc... but i wouldnt say it in front of my mates lol. it makes me think what i would be like to have a girlfriend that encouraged me crossdressing. xx

[Wendy_Marie]

This is kinda on the same train of thought Girlybit's.....kinda but not quite....

I had a GG tell me that when she dressed for meeting a guy she dresses from the neck down because a guy's first assesment begins about chest high...Lol When she dressed for meeting a woman she dresses from the shoes up as a woman will assess you from what shoes you are wearing then to the rest of outfit.

I kinda believe this because I catch myself always looking down at a womans shoes first thinking the same thing as you stated above..."Those are adorable, I wonder where she got them and do they have them in my size.?"

I use to tell believe that I had a huge shoe festish..which is true, only not in a sexual fetish sense.

[Gillian Gigs]

I wonder, what kind of bra and panties are you wearing under that beautiful dress, or skirt and blouse. Then it is wonder if I could look that good in those clothes. Oh, by the way where did she get that outfit.

[GirlyBits]

Sitting back and thinking about it, I think I would rather be the women I look at. I mean I go through my day wishing that I was a girl, day after day after day. Just like a lot of us here I would assume.

[*Vanessa*]

Recently I have come to actually notice something. When I am standing around male friends and co-workers they almost always all see a girl and say the normal guy stuff like oh man she's so hot or oh man I wanna do her, the usual blah blah. Well when I look at the girl with them I have a very very hard time distinguishing weather or not I want to "do" them or "be" them. Has anyone ever gone trough anything like this?

Absolutely - I have a heightened awareness of Vanessa's thoughts lately. She is at the forefront of my being lately and that only happens when she feel safe.

Anyway... I feel that way all the time whether it's the boys talking or my SO bitching about how the weather girl looks. I look at girls all the time that way (well 90% anyway) and think; oh I like that skirt, but why did she wear that top with it. Or, mmm I love those shoes, I would have to polish my toes to wear them. Most of my thoughts end in either "I wonder how that would feel?" or "I know how that feels and I like it". I really hate my stupid boy bluejeans most of the time, yet strangely enough I love my camo pants.

[Sheila11]

Those of us with ADHD don't have a problem with this. My first thought is " I wonder what it would be like to ..... "SQUIRREL!!!!" did you see that?
What were we talking about?

[Katie83]

I have to agree with alot of the other posts here, i look at the shoes first, then the clothes, then make up, and then imagine my self wearing them! So probably the "be her" option.
Katie

[CindyT]

All the time! I see both every time, love to see beautiful women and I always want to BE that gal!!!

[KarenS]

When you say "do her", you are talking about dressing up in her style right?? That's usually what I think of.
Note: married to a wonderful wife for 37 years - and she knows.

[Wendy_Marie]

Those of us with ADHD don't have a problem with this. My first thought is " I wonder what it would be like to ..... "SQUIRREL!!!!" did you see that?
What were we talking about?

I watched this movie just last night with the Grandson..again for the eleventy-seventh time.

[Kittyagain]

That is me all the way.

Kitty

I wonder, what kind of bra and panties are you wearing under that beautiful dress, or skirt and blouse. Then it is wonder if I could look that good in those clothes. Oh, by the way where did she get that outfit.

[carhill2mn]

I am quite sure that more than one person here has at some time had similar feelings.

[Annajose]

First i wonder if she is wearing PH, then usually admire the legs with some envy and then of course the shoes, would love to have and wear them. Lets say that I day dream. Doing them at those times does not come to mind, cause I love my wife and like her a lot.

[prettytoes]

I constantly think the same thing! "how lucky she is to be so beautiful and to have such a wonderful wardrobe", or "wow, I wish I could be her and look that good in a bikini". I love my life, and my wife and daughters are wonderful, but I often wish that I was a good looking 20 year old girl!

[Torrey]

t's been discussed, affirmed, dismissed, trashed, tossed about, put through the shredder, placed in the oven with the gas turned on, thrown over a cliff, and put down the disposal at least a few dozen times here.

Sounds like someone's channeling their inner Douglas Adams...

[Roberta Roberts]

Like Karren, beside the purse, I usually think.....great outfit (wonder if it comes in my size) and great shoes...where did she get them

Cheers,
Roberta R.

[pantyhoselover]

Usually I want to be her. Love taking in the fashion. And doing her certainly wouldn't hurt..

[t-girlxsophie]

Always look at their outfit and wonder where she got it etc,and sometimes the Bitch in me comes out ,"What the hell is she thinking,wearing that"

Sophie

[MarinaKirax]

theres a quote I saw on this forum a while back that goes something like: "when I see a beautiful woman in a dress, I'm attracted to that woman. And I want that dress." MK

[DebbieL]

I've pretty much gotten that sorted out for myself. My wife knows that when I'm checking out a woman in a great looking outfit, I'm checking out the outfit, wondering where she bought it, if they have it in my size, how much weight I'd have to lose to look as good in it as she does, and where I would be able to wear it. In fact, sometimes when my wife sees a woman in an outfit she knows I'd like, she'll discreetly tell me what to check out, and I'm always grateful.

As for "doing her", that's nothing more than a nice fantasy, period. All I know is she's wearing a great outfit. I don't know what her personality is like, whether she would like making love to Debbie or not, whether she has a boyfriend, or even whether she is dressed up for her boyfriend, or because she's a hooker, or because she just came out of church.

In fact, if a woman like that came up to me and tried very hard to get me interested and tried to seduce me, I'd get very suspicious right away. I'm not that rich, not handsome at all, and when not dressed, not someone you'd be particularly attracted to.

Growing up, I hung out with the girls. I got to know them, and about their lives, their likes, their dislikes, their pet peeves, and their passions. I also learned that many women who dressed extra sexy, did it because they liked to manipulate men into giving her what she wanted, while giving relatively little back.

I also learned that many women had to work very hard to look really good. As I learned to do my own make-up, hair management, and wardrobe, and weight control, I learned that some women binge-purge, throwing up after every meal, some use laxatives. Some suffered severe health problems as a result.

I also learned that some of the sexiest looking women had been sexually molested as children. In some cases, they were so young that they thought of it as a fun game until one day, the purpetrator wasn't there anymore and people who were trying to comfort her were telling her how horrible he was. What they didn't know was that, since to her it was fun, she assumed that she must be horrible too.

Worknig with femail addicts and alcoholics for 30 years has also given me insights into even more extraordinary elements of growing up female. And assisting in transformational programs where 30-40 men and women shared their complaints, fears, and failures (which lead to breakthroughs), I began to see that women who have been traumatized by others growing up is just as common as transgender men who have been traumatized growing up.

Once, someone suggested the notion of a "soul exchange". Essentially trading bodies with someone else. If I had thought it would be possible, I might have considered it, but not with her. She had so abused her body to maintain her figure that she was suffering from rotting teeth (from throwing up), yeast infections (laxatives while taking antibiotics), and more serious problems due to poor diet, constant exposuer to cleaning solutions, and other serious problems.

Sure, if I could reverse all that damage in a few months, or even a few years, I'd seriously consider it, but spending a lifetime suffering from seemingly incurable conditions that would last for 40-70 years. I don't think I'd want to be her.