Let's change the name Cross Dresser given to us by someone we don't know

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Hmmm, do you really think things are getting better for us? Perhaps this may be true with older, more mature people. They may be a bit more accepting of us. But the younger generation, (those under the age of 30), seem to still have a problem with not only cd,s, but also gays, minorities, older people in general, and anyone who is in any way different from them. Mind you, this is the very group that is always saying "dont be a hater", yet they display more "hate" than any other generation i can recall in my 60 yrs. of life. Just look at how they treat each other in these "social networks". Constantly attacking anyone who is different in any little way.

My personal experience is very much the opposite of what you've described. I have friends ranging in age from 14 to over 70, including the daughter of the woman who does my nails, many of the other members of a beauty web site, my neighbours, my nieces, the staff and other patrons of the restaurant that my friends and I go to every week and shop staff all over the place. I am personally acquainted with well over 100 people who accept me, fewer than 10 who are neither positive or negative about me (including some who were like that even before they knew about my crossdressing) and none who have actively rejected me. I know at least 200 more people who accept me online who I haven't met yet, and I know of just 3 people online who have actively rejected me.

Things are getting better for us all the time. I see things improving from week to week, month to month and year to year. Not being able to see this says more about the personal fear of the observer than about the society around us.

[Tina B.]

It's funny how years ago, we where all transvestites, but oh, that was such a evil word, we had to think of a new name for it that sounded nicer. So someone said lets call ourselves cross dressers, it's what we do, and it sounds much better! But now some people have a distasteful look on there face when they hear that, so people want to change the name again. Well you can call it style dressing, or what ever, and inside of six months, some one will say, ugh, a style dresser, how weird, and we can all start looking for the next new name. We are transvestites/cross dressers, and as the Bard once said, "a Rose by any other name, would it not smell so sweet?" It's not about what we call ourselves, it's about how we are perceived by the world, and names will not change that. And it is changing, I live in a small town in way northern California, and Yesterday we had our pride parade. It's small, and not much of a crowd watching it, but they marched, first the Trans Pride group lead off, then the local college band, then a hand full of gays, and PFLAG, and just about every church in town it seemed like, had a group carrying signs of inclusion, and support. I had never seen so many churches involved in all the parades I've seen anywhere, as they are, here and now. Funny now that I think of it, no one used the term cross dresser, just Trans Pride, they seem to think of us all as one group, I wonder why we don't?
Tina B.





Tina B.

[ReineD]

Hmmm, do you really think things are getting better for us?

...I guess my point is, I think we have a very long way to go for total acceptance. and i personally dont expect to see it in my lifetime.

I agree there is nowhere near total societal acceptance, but things have changed. Just read the accounts of the younger people here.

[CarlaWestin]

The words Cross Dresser describes us as if we were a thing. Why don't we come up with a name for us that says who we are inside, not just outside?

With the creative minds here I bet we can bet the coldness of Cross Dresser.

Kitty

I've always had positive response when describing my self as "gender-fluid" or "gender-blender" Hmm? I could use a drink.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

There is a difference. A transvestite feels compelled to crossdress. The term crossdresser includes those who do it voluntarily, just for fun. (Of course, I have no idea why anyone would want to stop. How any men worry about being compelled to watch football?)

The clinical definition of transvestite states that it MAY have a sexual fetish component. That is where the confusions comes from thinking that transvestite only defines transvestitic fetishism.

From memory, the usual definition of crossdresser is equivalent to transvestite, being a person who feels compulsion. The term implies habitual activity or compulsive desire, even if not acted upon. Crossdress, crossdressing and crossdressed apply to anybody dressed in the attire socially accepted as normal for a person of the gender opposite to their birth sex, regardless of whether it is habitual (ie that they are a crossdresser) or not.

[Julogden]

Crossdresser is a term that came about largely because we didn't like the rather clinical term "transvestite". I don't feel that crossdresser has any baggage. Regardless of what term, we use, it's what we do that some people have issues with, not what we call ourselves.

Virginia Prince tried to get us to call ourselves femmophiles (femmiphiles?) many years ago, meaning "lovers of the feminine", but it sounds too much like a mental disorder to me, and apparently to others, as it never caught on much. Not one of Virginia's better ideas.

Carol

[ReineD]

There is a difference. A transvestite feels compelled to crossdress. The term crossdresser includes those who do it voluntarily, just for fun.

The clinical definition of transvestite states that it MAY have a sexual fetish component. That is where the confusions comes from thinking that transvestite only defines transvestitic fetishism.

I'll direct you to the link in post #20. Take a look at the reference sources at the bottom of the article. Here's the link again:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender#Transvestite

The terms "transvestite" and "crossdresser" are interchangeable, although I've noticed more people in the US use "CD" while overseas "TV" is more common. And yes, they both may have a sexual component.

[*Vanessa*]

I'll direct you to the link in post #20. Take a look at the reference sources at the bottom of the article. Here's the link again:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender#Transvestite

The terms "transvestite" and "crossdresser" are interchangeable, although I've noticed more people in the US use "CD" while overseas "TV" is more common. And yes, they both may have a sexual component.

The term I am currently mulling around is "Transgender". It is a term that is very fluid and evolving. As it transforms it takes on different subtleties. The most fitting explanation for me today includes; All aspects of both male and female and in the context of M-to-F that may also include some type of hormone therapy, some electrolysis possible. But more importantly the ability to function in the world as either and both a male and/or female. They are not transsexuals nor are they transvestites.

Growing up there were the terms Transvestite and Transsexual and later cross-dressers.
- Transvestite had a homosexual component, while
- Cross-dressers were strictly hetero.
- Transsexual were those males who feel they are females 'caught in a male body'.

So, Transgendered persons are (today) people who feel they are of both sex at the same time. A complete person if you will.

Just my thoughts. I relate to the later.

[ReineD]

Just my thoughts. I relate to the later.

You should read the first part of the article, and also look at all the references at the bottom if you have time. Just about everyone here falls under the transgender umbrella, and this is an entirely appropriate term to use as well.

[Lorileah]

the younger generation, (those under the age of 30), seem to still have a problem with not only cd,s, but also gays, minorities, older people in general, and anyone who is in any way different from them.

Wow I must have missed all that because when I am in public, the younger people are the ones who seem more accepting. They are the ones who want to talk and they are the ones who compliment me most. They are also the ones who are flowing into the the "gay" roles of touching, hugging an even kissing. But maybe that is more in an urban environment.

I guess my point is, I think we have a very long way to go for total acceptance. and i personally dont expect to see it in my lifetime.

I agree that we will not be totally accepted in our lifetime. But what I see with my rose color glasses is that it will become more accepted and less noticeable, but then again I thought the 70's had less distinct gender lines.

I like transgender as a term and I think we need a term. It covers a myriad of things. Unfortunately it also seems to be a buzz word that certain L&G's believe holds them back and in everyday life people also assume it means we want to have SRS. This has been discussed before and as group we have not stepped up because we still have a huge part of the community who see themselves as a "bad" thing. The word crossdresser reinforces that in the general society because it is used for every news story in which a man wears a dress or skirt to commit an illegal act (or immoral but that in and of itself is nebulous). Gays, though still a long way from "total" acceptance have at least inserted themselves into "normal" society (even having several positive characters in sitcoms and dramas). we however don't get positive characters even though we are for the most part mainstream people in everyday life (how many are husbands, fathers, grandparents, all around contributors to society in general except the "dirty little secret" we believe we have?). The word (or words) cross dresser are innocuous really. But the USE of those words by others make it a bad thing. I don't have a good answer as to what we should call ourselves but look at how groups grab a term and put it out there when they strive to be accepted. We need to make a term our own and then use that in a positive light. Cross dresser will work IF we keep media from using it when they want to make a splash. Transgender will work IF we agree that it isn't just ONE thing. But we need to pick one.

[Lynn Marie]

The words Cross Dresser describes us as if we were a thing. Why don't we come up with a name for us that says who we are inside, not just outside?

Kitty

[SIZE="4"]Naaaaaaa. Let's not.[/SIZE]

[t-girlxsophie]

I get into enough trouble for describing myself at times as a Transvestite,used it for many years before coming on this site,but do use Crossdresser here out of courtesy,as I know a lot here dont like the TV term.I know in myself why I do what I do and sorry Stephanie I totally respect you,but I AM a Transvestite and I dont fit your explanation of what this means.in any shape or form

Sophie

[Rianna Humble]

I like transgender as a term and I think we need a term. It covers a myriad of things. Unfortunately it also seems to be a buzz word that certain L&G's believe holds them back

This must be one of those transatlantic differences (I hope it's OK to use the T word in this context ) - on my side of the puddle, young L',s G's and B's refer to themselves as being "LGBT" rather than any of the component words.

[Kaitlyn26]

I think that since it is 9/11, and this thread did get bumped to the top just now, we will rename the term "cross dresser" to Freedom Dresser! Make it so Number One.

[Kittyagain]

This all got started with my wife. For all these years we had never applied a name to who I am. Then I mentioned this forum by name and I could tell by the look on her face, she reacted to the name in a negative way. My wife is very, very supportive in all aspects of the true me so that is not the problem. As Lorileah posted, the image in the public eye is negative even if they know one of us or not.

I just think we can do better than Crossdresser which is not even a defined word with Webster.

Not many people are catching but I will keep pitching.

Kitty

[Kaitlyn26]

This all got started with my wife. For all these years we had never applied a name to who I am. Then I mentioned this forum by name and I could tell by the look on her face, she reacted to the name in a negative way. My wife is very, very supportive in all aspects of the true me so that is not the problem. As Lorileah posted, the image in the public eye is negative even if they know one of us or not.

I just think we can do better than Crossdresser which is not even a defined word with Webster.

Not many people are catching but I will keep pitching.

Kitty

I've caught your pitch. Did you catch mine?


It's going to take a bit more than a thread on the internet to change our "label". Even if you can change it, there may be others that like the term and do not wish to be called anything else. If you don't want to be called cross dresser, then describe yourself as something else. The people you are describing yourself to will most likely address you by the term you wish to be called.

[Kittyagain]

Kaitlyn, you a certainly right about a single thread not changing our name but it is rare historians to be able to unearth the beginning of a new idea.

Freedom Dresser, the name sure fits the day.

Lots of good post. I thank you all for considering the proposal.

Kitty

[Kaitlyn26]

I think the change of a term generally comes from a small person using it themselves. If the population that it describes, likes it, then it catches on. So make up something good.

Oh, and wait 20-30 years.

[JulieK1980]

Make it so Number One.

I suddenly have a strange craving for Earl Grey Tea.....Hot.

[Kaitlyn26]

I suddenly have a strange craving for Earl Grey Tea.....Hot.

Just make sure to execute "the Picard maneuver" properly when you get up to get it.

[NicoleScott]

There is a difference. A transvestite feels compelled to crossdress. The term crossdresser includes those who do it voluntarily, just for fun.

Like smokers, I guess. It's funny how the most addicted smokers claim they smoke because they enjoy it.

[Kittyagain]

Educe Effeminate, I started a new post. Remember it began here.

Kitty

[DonnaT]

Virginia Prince coined the word crossdresser because, at the time, the term 'transvestite' was being used in this country as a pejorative and came with the meaning a man who dresses in women's clothes and is associated with homosexuality.

Even though, contrary to Virginia's intent (the reason she founded Tri-Ess), crossdressers can be gay or straight, at least it is not used a a pejorative.

When I told my wife 36 yrs ago I was a transvestite, because the term crossdresser wasn't yet in vogue, she looked it up in the dictionary and immediately became non accepting due to the above definition. Prior to me using that word, she was accepting and we had fun with it.

[Kittyagain]

That is interesting Donna, I did not know that.

Kitty

[Suzette Muguet de Mai]

I agree with AliceJaneinNewcastle. Femulator is a nice name and the verb femulate is a very appropriate way to describe what we do. The website Femulate.org describes it quite well. Although why do we need to complicate the name like botanical or even biological names. Complexity brings confusion and crikey am I getting confused as my emotions oscillate working out if I want to TG/TS/TV/CD or what next. Please label it as you like but are we going to find a name for those who like to wear womens clothes only, or those who like dresses only or those who want to appear as feminine as they can or what else? I say Crossdressers/Transexual/Transgendered/Transvestite/*******/Ladyboy/Mtf/Ftm/TransMen,Trannie and have I missed any, are enough and CD is a good place to begin the search for yourself if you need. Labels are ok if they are accepted and used but what sub levels do we place on a label?
Maybe I should just say I am a person, gender neutral but I know that is a lie, as me saying I am male but I know I am not male, just a body stuffed up trying to fit into societies label MALE.