Hi Girls,
I am thinking to tell my wife about CDing. I am not sure about the reaction from her but If she allows it then I can do CDing all the time and she can help me. I am not sure it can be back-fired also.
Need your advice.
Kendra
Hi Girls,
I am thinking to tell my wife about CDing. I am not sure about the reaction from her but If she allows it then I can do CDing all the time and she can help me. I am not sure it can be back-fired also.
Need your advice.
Kendra
Good luck . Many wives have a very difficult time with this. I did. Just prepare yourself and be honest with her.
Approach it VERY carefully. There are numerous threads about how things have gone wrong. Only you can know whether your spouse will be accepting. Whatever you do, do not be in a rush. Feel her out and be prepared to answer her questions - she will have a LOT of them! I encourage to research the threads here about telling your wife as your first step. I was very fortunate when I told my girlfriend about my dressing; she is very accepting and helpful. Many spouses and girlfriends are not. You need to be honest with your wife, but be prepared for the ramifications.
Danni
I'M FREE, I'M FREE! I GET TO BE ME!
If your sole motive is so you "can do CDing all the time and she can help" then, on the odds, you will be very disappointed.
But, I'm all for being honest with your wife about your dressing.
Last edited by Taylor186; 09-20-2011 at 05:23 PM.
"can do CDing all the time and she can help [you]" I mean whenever I get a chance I can do CDing without fear of being get caught
As others have said, be very careful. Also, be sure you don't expect too much. Even if she accepts that you CD and is OK with the idea in principle, she may have no desire to see it let alone participate.
I think you are doing the right thing by sharing this side of yourself with herA marriage needs true and open communication to survive and be the best it can be
Hugs,
Deana
It took me 14 years and we've known each other 27 years. She still had a violent reaction at first. Go slow...
No. Reality is different from your fantasies. Are you prepared to destroy your wife's concept of her husband? Don't you think if your wife liked the idea of a crossdressing husband she would have suggested it by now?
I have been married from last 5 years. I have one daughter. Basically my wife is very supportive to me in all manner but I dont know how she will react on this.
Hint about it at first and see her reactions. That is what I did and my wife was very supportive. Use baby steps. Now my wife is totally supportive and she is helping me with my makeup and we shop together and planning our first weekend out as girls.
Lola M.
Just go slow, and answer all her questions, you can bet there will be questions.
But do not force the issue, when she wants to know more, she will ask.
Good Luck
Rader
Try suggesting to wear panties or a nightie to bed. Take it real slow.
Lola M.
I agree with Lola! TALK! Get a realialty check first! EXSPECT TOO MUCH AND YOU LOSE! bottem line! Hugs!Originally Posted by LolaDD
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
[QUOTE=FirstTimeCD;2598633]Hi Girls,
I am thinking to tell my wife about CDing. I am not sure about the reaction from her but If she allows it then I can do CDing all the time and she can help me. I am not sure it can be back-fired also.
Need your advice.
How long have you been married? I am in a bad place with my so called accepting wife right now and she has known for a year and a half. My crossdressing was a non issue when I met and married her. For when I married her on valentines's day of '09, it had been back in 1997 that I had last became Tara. I had purged successfully way back then, to turn from it forever, so on 4-18 2010, I told her of what I used to do, and now that I have told her, she was so accepting at first, and for a while things were good. I have learned the hard way, that so many "so called" accepting wives only push thier husbands or ACT like they care and pretend they want you do do all of everything that goes with crossdressing, but as I have said on here many times(check all my post's), that the majarity of wives push thier husbands to reveal everything about cd'ing, and then once they know all and everything about you, they flip on you, just as my wife has done.
I'm going to scc next week by myself, I wanted her to go, but she doesn't want to go with me, that's all and good, I will divorce her just as soon as I return.
There are those couples on here where a wife is accepting, they have been married for 35 or 40 years, what else is she going to do? Well mine feels that she can do better than me, well good F'ing luck to her and all of her menopausal self, I hope she does, I just want her to get out of my life and all of the turmoil she had cast upon me.
She now uses my corssdressing against me, for all of our so called problems. Such a cheap shot, but oh so typical of her kind. Heed my words dear friend, it may sometimes work, but most often not. There are some rare few cases of accepting wives, and there are some on here, but of the majarity, they hit the roof with it, OR, they play along for a while to get you to reveal all, just as my wife has done. I trusted her and now over the past year, she has threatened me with it, she has blackmailed me with it, she has threatened to send most of my pictures to all of my family with the sole intent to destroy my life as I have known it with my family. In your case, I wish I could meet you face to face to talk about it all. But I can't do that, but, let me tell you with all of my wisdom, that once you make the decsion to disclose it all to her, be prepered for the end of your marriage. LOok at so many other hundreds of threads on here where it killed the marriage.
I can deal with a marriage where the wife found out and she couldn't take it, or if you told a wife and she couldn't take it, but mine pushed the issue so hard, I told her I never wanted to go back there ever again . I told her of all that it does to us. I warned her of how it can overtake you and get so out of control. But she said, " I don't care, I want that for us, Please do this for me my husband<etc"< and now for the last 3/4 of a year, I have regreted so , trusting in her and beleiving all of her words. "I should have known better"(Beatles), for a voice in my head kept saying (MY NAME), don't do it, don't do it. But once again, I made a horrible decsion in my life an trusted my new wife of 2 years with something that I was not doing but what I "USED" to do, but she pushed it so hard, now making me feel like a fool. Now I pay the price for trusting a woman again.
When I return from SCC next weekend, I'm getting rid of her if it's the last thing I ever do in life. She told me she wanted $20,000 to keep my secret safe, the same price I did (foolishly), pay my second wife. I told her hell no, get on the phone and tell whatever you want to whoever you want and say whatever you want.
How long have you been married??? It does make a difference. But to me, with all this modern multi cultured world, it's best for you to just keep it to yourself, and not let any other human have a hold over you, to blackmail you about once a month as mine does. I have given in to her demands several times by way of my corssdressing , that she pushed for me to do, so many times. Enough is enough. Here my words here, I'm no dummy born yesterday. I'm 54 years old and my wife is 56. I have lived a long time and hopefully a few more years, so I wasn't born yesterday, and there is no more lessons about life and living that I am still yet to learn. Once you tell a wife, it can go eighter way, but in my case, she pretended to go along with it just to take pictures and humiliate me to the dogs and threaten to, no HAS balckmailed me with it to get her way several times.
I know that my story does not stand alone. Some wives are ok with it, some are not., Who knows in your case????? But just be prepared, once you tell her, have an attorny's number on speedial, just as I am going to do upon my return from SCC......DAMN DAMN,
Sister girl, be very wary of GG's, most cases they will let a man down, just as all the ex relationships I have had as well as you have and most men or males on this site, over 50+. Sorry for my rambling, but to answer you as best I can and for the answers you seek whether or not to tell your wife?
It;'s a toss up, for women are the most unpredicab*****,,,,no, no ,,telling your wife can be, no could be,,no, ,will definatley be a major mistake to your marriage.
Tara Rose puts $500.00 on silence.
Love & Respect........................................... ...............Tara
Lola can you tell me how you approached first time ?
WOW! Bad luck honey. I think you're right to call her bluff. I'd be surprised if she hasn't already spilled the beans in which case she has lost her leverage. Good Luck Hon!
regent,
if you go thru with this be prepared for alot of possible confusion with many moods displayed and many questions. You have the best possible insight into how she might react but its dicey in all situations. I finally decided to tell mine 5 years ago nad even thought she said she could tolerate it and me going along with her ground rules --we still ended up in divorce a year ago. Of course my dressing wasnt the sole issue and its very likely we would of divorced in any case due to other reasons it was a issue. I can omly wish you the very best of luck and take note of the other girls in this section. Ive seen this decision go several different directions. I knew i had to eventually tell her the truth for two reasons--couldn't go on decieving my spouse and knew that the law of average would most likely catch up to me and shed find out otherwise making the situation negative from the start
Ask yourself if she is inclined that way. Be prepared
It may turn out OK, but I would be prepared for the worst. Though we are still together, we do not have a marriage in the truest sense. I hope it goes better for you. Good luck.
Kendra, there are three outcomes of telling her, supportive, hate it and ambivalence. My coming out had a very positive result. I do not believe cross dressing "causes" problems. Relationships are good, bad or ambivalent. If your relationship is stong, cross dressing is just a thing. She won't understand it but she will deal with it, with you. The truth is the best thing but your relationship had better be on solid ground.
Here's my advice, Kendra. Remember, my marriage failed!
If your wife will accept your dressing with open arms, immediately go shopping for Kendra and help u dress, then, by all means tell her!
If your wife goes nuts, throws u out or moves back with her parents, maybe telling her flat out is NOT such a good idea!
She's YOUR wife. So, U make the call!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
This is exactly why I told my fiance before the marriage not afterward. While she is not the most supportive wife regarding my CDing she doesn't complain at least, makes no snide comments about it and doesn't threaten to tell everyone we know (mostly because everyone we know already knows.) Honesty first, last, and always is the best path.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
I will take it to the grave. For me, CDing is my little private "getaway".
Sounds like you simply want to tell all so you can have her approval and the extra freedom that may come with it.... there are no guarantees but there are a number of risks involved so I'd reconsider my motives if I were you.
jenn
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