I will add something that I don't see mentioned here. It is also very hard to go back to being closeted once you've been out in the real world. I wasn't sure I would ever be able to go out but once I tried it I was hooked. I now go out in the daytime pretty much anywhere I please. But I do realize that at any moment I could run into some one I know. That's why I have "told" most of the important people in my life. Who cares about the rest of them!
Sally
Your wife deserves something special so take her shopping or pamper her with day of relaxation as a thank you for being so supportive. Yes she has a point and if I heard her say that, I probably would have broke down crying at how amazing she is.
My Wife and I both made the decision that,going out in our town together was a no-no far too many negatives,but we both decided that going into the City (about 10 miles away) was ok,as long as we were both comfortable with it,If any one of was at all wary then it just didn't happen,after all were in this together we want it always to be fun,and tension free
Sophie
We look to Scotland,for all our Ideas of Civilisation-Voltaire
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A woman who loves to wear beautiful clothes is like a flower.
A man who loves to emulate these women is a special flower-a roseFacebook:Sophie Johnson
I think it is part of the male genome we will never be able to get rid of. We know our SO is the most insightful, thoughtful person we know, but we must reaffirm it to ourselves. It is so wonderful that she is included in your life together, and it is very important to keep the life in her comfort zone. I am struggling with exactly how to include my SO and the possible ramifications. I appreciate the sharing of experiences relating SO inclusion and how it all works together.
Give your wife a hug and reassure her she is paramount in your life.
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
can we clone her or borrow some of her DNAOriginally Posted by Skyeyes
Aren't wives wonderful? ... one's like yours are anyway. My wife too is very supportive and encouraging. When I first talked about going out in public in the daylight she said to me that, ok .. if WE are going to do this then we better do it properly and to that end she "bent over backwards" to help me with my presentation, female deportment etc which included coming up with an answer for friends and neighbors, should we ever bump into them .... but you know what? To date, we have never had to use that contingency reason or explanation. The people that are close to us, her son and her sister all both know and have seen me often, everyone else, the plan is in place "just in case" ... but, as I say, we're never used it .... yet.
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
She has point worthy of being a sticky and/or required reading.
"You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.
While it is true she has a point, it's been my experience that most people just aren't that observant. Of course, if you go into a place the frequent while in drab, alarm bells will go off. But going out for a drive? Prolly not too big of a risk. Remember, all those other people have their own lives to worry about; they aren't in some kind of crossdresser neighborhood watch. It's probably more important to validate your SO's concern for her sake than b/c of any significant risk.
I am not who you think I am
Yes, she has a very valid point and I see that this is part of the reason my wife gets so anxious when I go out. You've got a great SO there by the way! You're a lucky girl....
Your words are one of the best examples of love that I have read on this forum. I think when a S.O is willing to make sacrifices to this degree than they deserve protection from the risk of social ostracism, particularly the children who than may be exposed to bullying and exclusion.
This is not hypocritical or cowardice by bowing to social pressures but wisdom in fighting battles that you have a possibility of winning. Latter in life when you and the ones you love are in a better position to survive the winds of change that will blow your way from being open than the risks will offer a better return.
Far away vacations if possible could offer a respite from self imposed exile.
My problem with marriage is always the hidden misandry and sexism of women that is never addressed only male misogyny and your words make clear that she honors you regardless of how you are packaged. In my opinion you are married to an exceptional person who is worthy of protection.
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