any bad experiences being out in public.

[Wendy_Marie]

I left a TG Support group meeting after 9:00 p.m. one night heading home only to run into a Thunderstorm just a few minutes after I departed... Unbeknownst to me I had attracted the attention of a car full of college age guys and a couple of younger looking girls...6-people in total crammed into an old trashy looking Ford Sable.

They followed me for several miles in total even turning down otherwise empty street and seemed very intent to match pace with me despite my attemps to first speed up and then slow down, even turning into a Fast food Facilities Parking lot..leaving me somewhat unnerved.

I checked my cell phone to make sure I had service and then pulled back out and made my way down the street towards home I didn't see them pull out behind me so thought they had given up harrassing me...as I pulled up to a double left turn lane at one of the major intersection near home...lo and behold here comes the Sable and as it pulls up beside me this time the two passenger side windows come down and a slew of derogatory remarks are thrown my way....

The older guys in the car seemed content trying to impress the younger females by just how macho they were...so I chose to ignore them and did not make any attempt to return comment.

I already had a planned exit if I deemed it necessary to drive away...I also had my phone ready to call 911 if the situation escalated and as a last resort I had a loaded 9mm handgun in the console of the Dodge Durango 4X4 I drive with me...

I do carry it legally and in accordance to Missouri's Castle Doctrine Law. (Before anyone remarks on my choice to carry a firearm know that I have had professional training with local law enforcement and private agencies...and am very educated on Missouri's Carry Laws. I choose to take my own safety seriously, and that is one thing that will never change!)

I was relieved when the light changed and saw that they decided I was no fun since I had chosen to ignore their obvious attempts to bait me into a confrontation so they sped away....I did take note of the tag number and wrote down a description of the vehicle, its occupants and the last known direction of travel and decided that a call to the local Police department was warranted....I receieved a nice Thank You from the Springfield Police Department after explaining that I was Transgender and returning from a Support group meeting...and made my way on home.

[Sam-antha]

I am thankful that I live in the Uk when I read of the standard of police care of crossdressers that they "find". Once I was stopped by a police car - a minor offence - and I would note that neither policeman queried or remarked on my presentation. That was in the seventies, not in the naughties nor the eighties.
As far as people are concerned I have never had any hassle, with one exception, some boys, aged around ten, followed me into a station, laughing and shouting at my "condition". A nuisance they were, until the train arrived when they lost me. Nobody on the platform bothered with me, they were more amused by the boys.

[2B Natasha]

Last weekend I had a girl weekend with my SO and a LBD party out Saturday night. At the lounge we started out at I caught a couple of double takes. Nothing serious. Nothing the rest of the night. The next day though. We went out to a late breakfast. After ordering at a panera bread. We headed for coffee and napkins. I turned to look over the dinning room floor. An air force mucky muck and his wife? I guess where sitting there. I see him gesture my direction. His lady friend turn around. Give me the clear once over. Next. My SO asked me where I want to sit. I told her. " Over there at that table directly across from the military guy. ". So we did. Figured if he was going to act that way I would give them a close up look without having to try so hard. Plus. If I could make him squirm a little the better. I'm 6'4" without heels and tip the scales at around 230. He didn't scare me. Putz.

Bit of all the times I've been out. Nothing really and. A turned head. A double take. Big deal. No pitch forks or torches.

[Amanda22]

No bad experiences at all. I'm attending a "Girl's Night Out" hosted by and at my local art museum. I hope it goes well, although I'm a little nervous.

[LauraEwing]

I've painted my nails a light pink before going out, a few people looked but nothing bad came from it.

[kellycan27]

I guess it all depends on what one considers a bad experience. I got the holy s**t kicked out of me in an underground parking garage. having teenagers laugh or ridicule me isn't in my book a bad experience but more of an annoyance.

[Cheryl T]

An occasional comment (nothing really bad) or the secretive looker who can't take their eyes off me or my friends when we're out, but nothing I would consider bad. Most people don't really care and the rest are generally nice and well mannered.
We were in Kohl's one day and as I was talking to my gf (cd) I spied this little old lady peeking around the rack. She was about 4'8" and it was soo cute. She'd look and then go a few feet away to her husband and whisper and then come back. She did this about 4 times...we got a good laugh out of it.

[Angela2me]

No bad experience yet. I was pulled over by the local police on my way home from a dinner with the local CD/TS social group. I was dressed but no makeup and not passable. The officer (female) dealt with my minor offence without comment and I was on my way.

[Nicole Erin]

We have all had annoyances and some have had bad experiences.
I have had annoyances.
You learn some things -
people who talk trash are usually idiots who are not worth worrying about. I mean seriously, decent people don't go around laughing at others. So for the idiots like the younger insecure males, teenage girls, or the riff raff that infests certain areas, you would not care about then whether you were CD/TS or not.
Take yourself out of the CD/TS mentality for a second and think, "Would I care what they think or would I want to associate with them anyways?" So why care if they don't approve of you being who you are?
Of course do your best to avoid those types no matter what you are doing or how you are dressed.

Also that whole "confidence/passing" bit - I don't pass the greatest but these days I get less harassement than before. Reason, I quit worrying. Confidence does go a long way to avoid harassment.

[PretzelGirl]

I think our perceptions can come into play on this too. If you are looking for people to notice, then you will see them notice even if they might be looking for other reasons (you are wearing a cute top...). I have yet to have someone say something to me, but I have some that gave me looks. I must have a lot of cute tops!

[Miss Maxine]

Once I was at a party and I broke two nails. It was one of the worst experiences of my life!

[Amy Hepker]

Yes, I had a bad deal at a Mall, Teenagers spotted me and then proceeded to stare and talk behind my back and I thought the Girls were going to pass out when I went into the Ladies to use the restroom. It was pack and I had to wait in line. No one else said anything, but the girls were also in line and talking about me. I did my business and headed down a narrow hall where the teens were and they had some boys there waiting too. The boys just kind of stared and did not say anything which kinda makes me wonder if they were crossdressers too. Another time a little girl asked her mother, "Is that a Man or a Woman" The Mother said a Woman not wanting to have to explain to the girl about it I am sure. Then one other time I was helping a friend with a Yard sale and a pickup went by with some guy in back that was drunk, he yelled out all kinds of things I am sure you know what. But that was it out of 1 1/2 years of dressing everyday. I do have a few Lady friends that I met when I was dressing and they are still my friends today.

[Katie Moore]

A month ago, I went to the local hospital to get a heart screen and lung ct scan. Thought I was going to get changed into a gown so I kept my vs underwear on. Well, no gown, just had me lay on the table and then he started to put electrodes on me all over the place. He must of seen my underwear cause when I came out of the machine now there was a girl and the guy taking off the electrodes. Not a word said but somehow the air in the room got just a litlle heavier. Didn't really bother me though...BTW, all test results came back pretty dang good!

[PetiteDuality]

I guess it all depends on what one considers a bad experience. I got the holy s**t kicked out of me in an underground parking garage. having teenagers laugh or ridicule me isn't in my book a bad experience but more of an annoyance.

Geez, this is serious stuff. So sorry you had to go through this

[Vanessa Storrs]

I am on 'red alert' everytime I am out dressed. So far my fears have not been justified. I have received one rude comment and one constructioon worker laughed when he saw me. I have received several compliments and many smiles from people. When I hear someone laughing my paranoia jumps into high gear until I realize that they are laughing at something even funnier than an old fat crossdresser. I have never come close to any situation which would deter me from going out again.

[HannahF6]

And I've been dressing for about 55 years and never had an untoward comment or experience. One nice experience occured when I was out for a walk dressed up very nicely, a woman came around the corner, looked me over top to toe and grinned. Doubtless I was read, I smiled back and continued on.

Hannah

[ReineD]

Eluuzion, what an awful experience. I'm so sorry!

[Kaitlyn26]

Eluuzion, that's a pretty interesting story. You won't say it but I will. We need less morons with badges in this country. It's making the general public dislike our police officers that are competent. That's disgusting, honestly. You should've asked for names.

[AllieSF]

After 4 years of going out, maybe close to 200 times, my only so-so experiences are minimal, pulled over twice by the police, once in California for a full question and answer plus balance coordination tests followed by the Breathalyzer test, which I passed, then later that same year in Detroit, Michigan for an abbreviated version of the DUI test, which again I passed. I was dressed totally en femme and was more worried about the DUI ticket and its associated costs in fines, court and potential insurance rate costs. Both times I was treated more than professionally. Another time I was riding the rapid transit train home and had an interesting encounter with two just teen young girls who had to make a scene. I think that I handled it well and later had passengers tell me they were ready to step in to support me if necessary. Other than that, all is well and hopefully will remain that way for a long time.

[michelle64]

several times i have had problems with guys looking for a hook-up..well lets just say i am happily involved with a gourgous lady and have been for years..i just keep on walking while they try in desperation (are we really that bad as guys?)..another time a young teen approached and started to chat..soon it became apparant the motives were well robbery..one change of my voice and my hand going into my purse and off the perp ran..sad part is this was a wealthy area with a very nice mall..kids today i guess..i do carry a firearm legally but its a big decision with a lot of responsibilty..only you can decide but yes i do carry when out..99.9% of the time nothing happens and for that reason i just have not gone out in many many months..it gets so routine its boring...just be careful in any bar/club district..alcohol and stupidity go hand in hand..

[linda allen]

..i do carry a firearm legally but its a big decision with a lot of responsibilty..only you can decide but yes i do carry when out..99.9% of the time ..

As bad a scene as it would be for you to shoot an attacker, even if justified and legal in your state, imagine how much worse it would be when it comes out on TV and in the newspapers that you were dressed as a female at the time. Talk about being outed!

[Nikki A.]

Read yes, problems no. Although I guess being called sir by an old geezer (although he did hold the door for me) when fully dressed did take me down a notch, especially since I felt that I looked especially good that day

[Stacey Summer]

I haven't really been out yet so I don't have any bad experiences. I remember one night I was out for a walk, wearing jeans, cream mid-ankle boots with a 3" chunky heel and my black cardigan that has a massive hood (the reason I chose it) that hides my face. Walked past a couple on their 30's I guess and I'm sure they made me but nothing was said. Hopefully when I finally get a decent wig and learn to do my makeup I'll have a good experience my first time properly out.

[Rachel Morley]

Thankfully, I've never had a problem (yet). I have run various scenarios in my mind and rehearsed what I might say to anyone (police stopping me, teens in the mall etc) ... but so far I've never needed to use them. I know I get "read" sometimes and I occasionally get what I think are "knowing smiles" but as I said, no one has actually said anything to my face and I've never had anything bad actually happen (yet).

[JavaJunkie]

As bad a scene as it would be for you to shoot an attacker, even if justified and legal in your state, imagine how much worse it would be when it comes out on TV and in the newspapers that you were dressed as a female at the time. Talk about being outed!

Better to be alive and outed than dead or in critical condition with your secret intact!

On to the topic though, one night on the way back from the local gay bar (had like 1 mixed drink over the course of 3 hours) and heading over to my friend's house I decided to stop in the parking lot of a grocery store to touch up my makeup. As I'm sitting there touching up my eyeliner and fixing my hair I see flashing lights in my rear view mirror! Now needless to say this was in a very small town in rural NC so I just steeled myself for the impending drama. The cop comes up to my window and is like "license and registration ma'am" so I must of been passing well enough....at least until he saw me in boy mode on the ID...oh boy. He then goes back to his car and in a few minutes 3 more cop cars show up. The aforementioned cop then comes back to my car and asks me to step out of the car. Then the million questions treatment starts as all of the cops start asking me where I'm coming from, if I was drinking, where I was going at this time of night, etc etc.

After a little bit of this it was very obvious they were just trying to get a rise out of me so knowing good ol' me...when pushed, push back! Then they had me do the sobriety test which is no easy feat in 4 inch heels. I kept my cool though and strutted my stuff making sure to put a little extra hip swagger during the walk in a straight line portion. Right after though, I walked up to the first cop and demanded to know why I was being interrogated and harassed for no particular reason. He walks over to his buddies, they have a little talk, and when he comes back he tells me they had "good suspicion" that there were prostitutes in the area and I was one of the ones they were looking for....at which point I very pointedly denied the allegation and asked the cop and his buddies if they didn't have a VALID reason for keeping me could I leave unless their police department wanted a sexual harassment lawsuit on their hands. Once I started asking for all of their names and badge numbers they very hastily told me they were "going to let me go this time." Needless to say they were just trying to harass me which I was having no part of. After getting back in my car and pulling out of the parking lot though I couldn't stop shaking for the next 10 minutes and even had to pull over before I could safely drive being so shaken up from the encounter. That's me though...in the heat of the moment I'm cool as an ice cube, but afterwards I'm a total mess.

BTW this same "police" department in 2009 was indicted for corruption and obstruction of justice throughout the whole dept. They just now got the ability to process felony charges back 2 years later. This has been my only really bad experience though except for a few overheard whispers and double takes. It does seem though that police in NC love to accuse us of prostitution because apparently the only reason to them why a man would present as a woman is for sexual purposes since I've had many TG friends who've had the same problems with the police.