I am in a place right now that I was hoping to avoid forever. My wife of seventeen years has called to enquire about divorce. She has not filed yet but, what do I do with this knowledge?
Part of the problem is that she says I do not care about her thoughts and feelings, this just is not true, I do care about what she thinks but I also just cannot help myself to a point.
I do not dress in front of her, I DO underdress which I guess she can tolerate (maybe)
I guess its the things that I consider SUTTLE such as shaved arms and legs. Plucking eyebrows, very light make up(on occassion)
As far as the make up I do try to take it off when I end up back home and I am going to be around family.
I really pissed her off when I showed up at church with what I figured was well groomed fingernails. NO color but I did put false nails on over my nails and I liked them because the tips where clean and unbroken. not to girly in my opinion, but way over the top for my wife, I did remove them the next morning after I got home from work.
I don't know how to stop being who I think I should be without hurting her anymore.
HERE IS THE BIG PROBLEM
We are not intimate anymore, this is pretty much my fault I will say 85 percent
I have issues which I take pills for (currently out and need to go back to refill)
She thinks it is in my head and I agree with her that part of it is totally in my head as I have a fear of not being able to satisfy her which is upsetting to myself.
I want my wife to be completely happy, but I don't think I am making her happy anymore.
How Can I change so I can be happy but also bring new life into our marriage?
Do I tell the doctor that I am a Crossdresser?
Do I force myself to give up one part of my life that makes me happy but bothers my wife.
This is a selfish lifestyle because we are forced to hide important parts of our lives from those people that we truly love but do not want to burden them with anything to do with crossdressing. This leads to taking away from them as well as ourselves.
I do not know what to do to bring LOVE back into my wifes vocabulary, As she said we are mearly roommates at this point because we have no intimacy.
Big issue is she says I do not change in front of her, I do try to not stand in front of her while wearing panties because I know she does not want to see it.
I need help, the only thing I can think of is give up the side of my life that brings me happiness to get back to the LOVE that I want to share with my wife.
