What am I and How can I make my wife happy?

[Kerigirl2009]

While I always appreciate peoples opinions as they sometimes help to make us think. I always make my own decisions. But imput helps too, even the imput I do not agree with.
I thought I was being suttle with the things that I have done or been doing in my feminine side. As far as make-up, I was wearing clear mascara(lightly applied) a very similiar eye liner and again lightly lined but not all the time and not infront of my family, when I would remove it I would basically leave a tiny trace of it. Now no one has ever said anything about it. I believe she may have seen that I was wearing makeup maybe once or twice but basically only because my face was extra clean.
the nails I can live without.
I am going to suggest that I take her up on her offer to go out more often. basically I have not gone out very often because I do not wish to take away from family time.
I am making a dr appt.
We get along and I do not think it is too late to bring the spark back into our relationship with the help that I may require.
The Crossdressing is not the whole picture, actually she told me that it does not bother her as much as it seems to bother me. I think this has a lot to do with the lack of intimacy and I would love to have a more intimate relationship with my wife anyway.

I don't think I am overly girly as I can be pretty intimidating as a man and have no problem getting dirty when necessary. I have and can build pretty much anything, except I hate working on cars. So being a man is not lacking,
I am guilty of trying to push the boundaries that we have established, I think it will be a good time to talk and discuss the boundaries.
In the event that our marriage does end, it will not end badly for either of us. I will always love her even if she only wants me as a friend. I have said before this is my life and I have chosen to spend it with her

[Aprilrain]

Aprilrain (post #35), are you suggesting that the manly man should make all the rules?

I I am also a regular guy, husband, and father without gender issues. I just like to dress up sometimes. I do all the manly man things other men (who don't crossdress) do, That must seem strange to you.

No Im suggesting that if you guys are as "manly" (read assertive) as you all claim to be then you would make it clear to your wives what it is in the relationship YOU need. Trust me most woman are more than happy to tell their SOs what they want out of the relationship but woman value verbal communication more than men. Perhaps this is how it is with you and your wife however more often than not one reads on this forum something more like this: "What am I and How can I make my wife happy?" We all want to be good to our mates but we can not MAKE anyone happy especially if they are disgusted with some fundamental aspect of us. Being servile and scraping just to get someone to like us is pathetic at best and the other person will resent the effort and eventually hate the person for even trying.

Yes indeed CDing as you describe it does seem rather strange to me. Without some sort of internal gender conflict (even if only slight) I can't even imagine what would drive some one to wear the clothes of the opposite sex.

[ReineD]

I am guilty of trying to push the boundaries that we have established, I think it will be a good time to talk and discuss the boundaries.
In the event that our marriage does end, it will not end badly for either of us. I will always love her even if she only wants me as a friend. I have said before this is my life and I have chosen to spend it with her

Good luck, Keri ... I hope that you and your wife will be able to work things out.

[Kerigirl2009]

I have been rereading some of the comments and its really kind of funny what I am reading and who they are from, atleast what I would consider the no hope additude people that say do what you want and don't worry about the other person. They seem to be the younger generation that have not invested half of their lives into making a family with someone.
I wont say who they are that I am thinking that is up to the others to read into.
I am going to have my own soul searching to do but I wil take into account my wifes feelings as well as my childrens. While also allowing myself some freedoms. This to me is what my marriage is about.
Thank You Reine for what I consider one of the best comments, not to say their where not others but yours stood out to me.
I am thankful for everyone but I will be done with this post as for the mist part it is too negative for me.

yes it is true I may be more TG then CD but I believe the TG side is more of a choice where as the CD side is something that we are either Born with or it is environmental with the pwople that we grow up with and associate with. There are times in my life I believe being a woman is what I want but this would be a conscious choice that would effect everyone that I know love and trust. Something I am not even ready to consider.
My crossdressing side is something about me that I truly adore and I believe is a huge part of my life, one that I could never give up for any reason nor will I, I told my wife when I came out that this is something that has never gone away and never will. She has never asked me to give her up and never will. Thank you again

Keri

[Jessica1984]

"What am I and How can I make my wife happy?"

This is going to sound glib but its the truth.
question 1: You are a human being (as far as I can tell from your avatar anyway)
question 2: There is nothing you can do to "MAKE" your wife happy. If she can't BE happy with you as you no amount of you not being you is going to make her happy either if anything it will only make her resent you even more than she already must. There are other fish in the sea and divorce is not the end of the world (though it maybe the end of your finances!)

My guess is she has made her decision. Why love someone who doesn't love you back? "I love you, now change" isn't love at all!

Although maybe a bit more blunt than I would have put it, I agree with this.

[Kaitlyn26]

I have been rereading some of the comments and its really kind of funny what I am reading and who they are from, atleast what I would consider the no hope additude people that say do what you want and don't worry about the other person. They seem to be the younger generation that have not invested half of their lives into making a family with someone.
I wont say who they are that I am thinking that is up to the others to read into.
I am going to have my own soul searching to do but I wil take into account my wifes feelings as well as my childrens. While also allowing myself some freedoms. This to me is what my marriage is about.
Thank You Reine for what I consider one of the best comments, not to say their where not others but yours stood out to me.
I am thankful for everyone but I will be done with this post as for the mist part it is too negative for me.

yes it is true I may be more TG then CD but I believe the TG side is more of a choice where as the CD side is something that we are either Born with or it is environmental with the pwople that we grow up with and associate with. There are times in my life I believe being a woman is what I want but this would be a conscious choice that would effect everyone that I know love and trust. Something I am not even ready to consider.
My crossdressing side is something about me that I truly adore and I believe is a huge part of my life, one that I could never give up for any reason nor will I, I told my wife when I came out that this is something that has never gone away and never will. She has never asked me to give her up and never will. Thank you again

Keri

Actually, I've watched 8 divorces in my immediate family take place, all were well invested as you are, and around your age group. At the end of the day, they muttered the D-word because it was already over for them. Something to think about, before you go saying this or that to yourself, having not spoken to her yet. Have you sat down and spoke to her yet?

What you need to do right now, is talk to her about this, and do not make any other conclusions about anything until you know how she feels, and where she wants to take it. Let her do the talking, and then present exactly what you want, should you two get back together, if that option is even on the table. Putting yourself through hoops will only brush the problem aside for a time. Not allowing for more self expression could give you "cage syndrome" and make you irritable, and cause problems later on, again.

It's not a game of "what can I do to get my wife back", it's a game of, "how do I get my marriage out of this hole that's sinking it".

[Allsteamedup]

Stop guessing and listen to what is being said
.
Your wife complains about lack of intimacy. You are only roommates.
This has little to do with your pills and a lot to do with you. If you persistently do not cuddle, stroke, or generally show closeness and affection to your wife she will decide you don't care physically for her. That will make her feel unattractive.

If you persistently needlessly embarrass her in public. eg showing up to Church with false fingernails, never mind how subtle you think you are, this is totally unnecessary behaviour and again tells her you don't care.

You have obviously gone a long way down the feminising route and it leaves your wife feeling that she is no longer important in your relationship. Where is her man?

Giving up cding is not going to help you at this point. Once you signal to a woman that your alter ego is more important than she, the genuine woman in the relationship, then you are the one not-so-subtly telling her that you are finished. Ask yourself why you did this.It didn't happen by chance.

You could try relationship counselling. Remember, even those of us who are supportive do not expect to be made a fool of by your femme side. You are the one with issues here. Face them.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Good luck Keri.. Hopefully you are right..

You asked the question...

honesty and real life experience is not "negativity"...
negativity is spending years lying to yourself and hurting the person you love

if your statements about your gender identity are exaggerations than you've wasted our time..