That's too bad. Good luck though. I hope it works out for you.
That's too bad. Good luck though. I hope it works out for you.
If she didn't end the date with a hug and a kiss for you, I'd say any chance for romance is completely gone. So sorry. But you might have a nice friend now, and if you can teach her more about it, she may become more accepting of your crossdressing. But from her comments so far, it doesn't seem like she wants to deal with it at all, otherwise she wouldn't have told you that you should stop doing it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I think the comment about you being a nice guy thing is a way of saying......
Don't call me, I will call you. I hope I am wrong, And I wish you the best of luck
with her. If you do get back together, take it slow, do not approach the subject unless she brings it
up first. Then short answers at first, testing the waters to see if she will accept or not.
Rader
She finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?
That does sound like you were put into the "friend's zone" the NICE GUY comment. That was followed by HOPE we can continue to see each other. That to me sounds like you "might" see each other as friends. But the I HOPE part means you are not going to be friends unless you stop crossdressing. I hope you were not having serious feelings for her hoping to end up in a committed relationship. That could hurt. I'm sorry this happened.
For this one rare occasion I disagree with ReineD's opinion about it ending on a positive note. I don't think it did. But I'd be happy if it turns out I'm wrong.
Last edited by BRANDYJ; 10-03-2011 at 07:07 PM.
Well Doc Have you spoken with her again?!
Im dying to know!
I think the whole conversation could be taken either way. I truly hope the best for you no matter the outcome.
And im not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet....I commend you for being upfront with her! Its tough and awkward in those beginning times of dating.
-Donni-
ps: Maybe you could bribe her with Sherry's extensive wardrobe!!! -Giggles-
Had a girlfriend once to tell me to stop or she was going to leave! I helped her pack! Hugs!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
I think Sherry that she will not be to excepting, I could be wrong and maybe she needs some time, who knows.
I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!Originally Posted by eluuzion
Thank u, all. Your comments r all insightful and helpful. Let me add a few things here:
I had already ASSUMED, ( u know the old, "That makes an ASS out of U and ME?"), that we were in a "friends" catagory with each other. I'm just not sure whether it is going to be a "friends with benefits" situation or not. I was leaving that to her.
Because she said, "U could quit", so often, I told her that; "At the present time, I can't! That it seemed to be a compulsion. The only one I've ever experienced."
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I think she is having some second thoughts and a moment of indecision. Help her get over it by mentioning how wealthy your family is. You paid cash for your car, right?
I wouldn't say it that way. I would say that there are lots of things that women look for in a guy, and 'nice' isn't necessarily at the top of the list.I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!
'Dresses up like a girl' is somewhere near the bottom. :/
OMG!! I beg to differ!
Women do TO want nice guys. That macho crap is a myth invented to excuse being a bad boy. It's absolutely NOT true that women prefer men who misbehave. Get real! It's not women that make guys misbehave.
Stephenie
Sherry, I don't think reading much into this will do anybody any good.
If you're in the "friend zone", hell, at least you're in the friend zone. If you're altogether out of the picture, kudos to you for being honest early.
... and if you're in the friend zone, with benefits, awesome!
next time you go to pick her up for a date, get one of those hello kitty bmw 3 series and show up dressed like a las vegas show girl.
man, i feel like a woman
Something like THIS, Cassi? I'm SURE she'd be thrilled to see me! ROFL!!!
82758.jpg
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps your wife thought you were unbearable to be around because you were white knuckling your way through not CDing?
If I think someone's breath stinks I don't say "hey you stink" I offer them some gum!
I have had this discussion with my ex. the father of her first child was her attempt at a "nice guy" he ended up being physically abusive. her take on the "nice guy" thing was that these men are hiding something (CDing perhaps).I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!
Personally I want a man who is confident and knows what he wants, that doesn't mean I want him to be a jerk or treat me badly, but if he is a spineless yes man that will get pretty old pretty fast too!
Do you recall the scene in Top GUN when Maverick and Goose pulled those yellow and black handles above their heads as their ship flat spinned? Yea, I think you need to do that same thing when it comes to this relationship.
"I am not altogether on anyone's side as no one is all together on my side"
Tree beard. Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers.
I think Krystal is right. Women like nice guys but deep inside they want and adore machos. They make them melt. In my experiences to be called a "nice guy" is about the worst what can happen to a man who is interested in a woman.I learned this a long time ago, "nice guys" always finish last. I am sorry to say women do not want nice guys!
I hate to be the reality check checker but, you can always blame it on me honShe finished the evening by saying, "You're a nice guy, I hope we can continue to see each other?"I hope we can stated by her, when you have not put any doubt on your part as to liking her and continuing to see her, what she realy is saying: I hope I can deal with this.................maybe
At least it is what I am seeing, I hope I am wrong in reading into this
[SIZE="2"]She’s telling you in no uncertain terms that your crossdressing is WRONG, that she doesn’t understand it, and “Why on Earth a male would do such a thing(?)” In her mind, there’s something very wrong with you, and you can stop if you wanted to? She wants you to stop, and mold yourself into her idea of a man, or male, or masculine human being – why bother?
This begs the question why TELL anyone? I mean, no matter where you live, or how sophisticated the woman you’re dating allegedly is, you run into the same old prejudices. If you are a male, and you dress in women’s clothing, you are most decidedly NOT a male in the eyes of society. Nowadays, a male not being a male is a bad thing, and GAY just happens to mean “bad" at the present time. It’s a pity, but your little story just reinforces this hideous ignorance that is prevalent out in the real world…
Why date at all? What do you need a woman for if you can dress up and BE the woman you wish to meet (or be with)? Why not be your own girlfriend and skip the one-sided conversations about your little “hobby,” or, if you’re such a nice guy, why not avoid these foundation-quaking incidents altogether? I, also, don’t know what to say, but at least I know something about MtF crossdressing, unlike your date. Honesty may be the best policy, but isn’t it better to be truthful with yourself? Oh, BTW – nice mask…[/SIZE]
[SIZE="2"]Well said…[/SIZE]
I so wish you the best with her Sherry.
Sherry,
I get the feeling that she would want to date if you stopped cding, which there's no way your gonna! Just myI hope I'm wrong!
Personally, I think you've been dumped and it doesn't matter one bit whether you give up crossdressing or not.
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