Not being careful - a close call.

[abigailf]

So, we had dinner at the in-laws last night. An aunt came over to visit afterwards while we were still there. This is a very vocal aunt who tells it like it is.

I'm sitting at the table in conversation and out of the blue she asks "Are your nails frosted?"

My response "Why no, the are just tinted." Which they were.

"What, you like a girl?" she asks.

My terminator like decision matrix pops up some potential responses:

"Why yes."
"Not quite!"
"F U A$$H013"
"No, but I do bring metrosexualism to a whole new level."

I chose the last. The good news is I got a few laughs. The bad news is I am still closeted (to my wife's relief).

[kimdl93]

Well done. I don't know how closeted you really are after that remark...but whatever works.

[RADER]

A long time ago I was caught with clear polish on my nails. I was question by relatives at a
family dinner. "Do you paint your nails"
NO I said, I was doing some Varnishing in my shop, and more went on my hands then on the wood.
Got a big laugh out of it; Later on the way home, my wife said you might lay off the finger nail polish.
Rader

[Nikki A.]

One of my part timers asked if my nals were painted (sheer vanilla). I said yes, they look better that way instead of dingy yellow. Nothing else was said after that.

[Monique Myers]

I went into an Afro-Canadian beauty supply place in town in guy mode and asked if it would be alright if I tried on a couple of wigs. The gentleman that was free (his wife was busy with someone else) said "are you queer", I said "no, just a little odd", he laughed and said sure. I don't worry if I get outed, if it happens it happens, most people in retail establishments just want to make a sale or put in their 8 hours and get the heck home. They see a lot of nastier stuff than crossdressers and men checking out clothes and cosmetics. Don't believe me, just ask an attendant at a Winners Change room about the weirdest stuff she's seen.

[Stevann]

My nails tend to split a lot. So I use Sally Hansen Hard as Nails. When questioned about my clear polish, that's what folks get told. (I've also upped the Biotin to 5000 mcg a day. I hope that helps as well.)

[Kaz]

So love that comment! Brilliant! And I totally relate to the Terminator link... been there so done that!

[Jodi]

I have had clear "Nail Envy" on my nails for years. I get a fresh manicure every two weeks. I work with teenagers, both boys and girls. I have been asked by them. I tell them that it has been great to stop my badly splitting nails (which is true). Nothing else said.

Jodi

[TGMarla]

My ex-wife (oh so many years ago!) put some clear coat on my nails after she gave me a manicure. If any of you get any such questions, simply tell them that it's a standard component of a good manicure. End of discussion.

[abigailf]

I wore clear coat all the time when I worked on Wall St. At that time so many years ago, it was very common. If not a clear coat, then a buff shine.

[Chloe' Buffington]

my mother in law asked a similar question of me, my responce was its an anti nail bitting polish. it was true for a wile now they are clear coated 24/7.

[RenneB]

I love the terminator pop up remark, I too run through a series of choice answers when confronted with a situation. The closest I've gotten with the remarks are "who's boots are these" when I left the knee high 4" heels boots on the bed after packing everything back up in the closet after a day en fem. The next day the entire wardrobe was moved to the basement storage area... The next comment was "what's wrong with your ear lobe?" when I had a day of wearing the clip ons that I love but just pinch a little to much and leave marks. I ended up picking, "oh it just the mask I wear in the garage while working on the car". Then it was the "what's wrong with your eyes?" after wearing waterproof makeup and not getting waterproof makeup remover first. "Oh just dirt from working outside I guess."

Renne just keeps leaking out all over the place. Soon she'll be out in the open.... I'm sure.

I feel for you girl, it gets a bit closterphobic in the closet all the time....

Renne.....

[larry]

I love that matrix. It is always so hard not to use the "F U A$$H013" when the attitude of the person just begs that reply. Well done.

[Niya W]

Is it bad that I only consider option 1-3 a valid response ?