Being accepted as a friend by individual lesbians is very easy. I've never had a problem with that.
I'm not interested in being accepted by a community--I like friends who are individuals--and I'm certainly not trying to be accepted by lesbians as a lesbian. If you're imagining me going into a lesbian bar and hitting on the girls there on the pretense that 'hey, I'm a lesbian too,' then you've let your imagination get the better of you. Nothing like that was ever suggested. I totally get that lesbians like women, and that a woman who would be attracted to a crossdresser would have to be either straight, bi, bi-curious, heteroflexible, or pansexual.
It wasn't being used as a term. It's just a humorous way of saying that we like to dress as girls, but we still fancy women. Period.
And no one has explained to me yet why they find the phrase personally offensive.