What a wonderful father daughter adventure! You are so lucky and so is she!
What a wonderful father daughter adventure! You are so lucky and so is she!
Dana Fleming
Time for two quick pictures before I head off to work. Wow, it looks like I really need to get some Windex before I take any more shots in my bathroom.
Kathi
Kathi, are you able to work en femm? I wasn't aware of that. You look great, by the way!
Ah. Perhaps I wasn't clear. I meant that I had time before going to work this morning to post some pictures of my previous day, not go to work dressed like that (Sigh. If only!).Originally Posted by kimdl93
Kathi
I didn't think you'd wear the same outfit two days in a row!
Sorry, busy night last night. My one-hour conference call with our supplier lasted over three!
Let's pick up where we left off:
Chick-fil-A was yummy (as expected), and we made our way to The Gateway, an upscale outdoor mall in downtown Salt Lake. Our first stop was Justice, a preteen girl's favorite place. We walked in and were surrounded by moms and daughters. I did get a few odd looks, but for the most part, everyone treated us nicely - mostly because my daughter is a cute little twerp, and who could resist her?
Usually when we go in, we find something that is so cute we have to get it. Not this time, though. We wandered around the accessory area, looked around the store, and then left to go across the street to Ann Taylor. It was the last day of their 40% off sale, and I wanted to se if a skirt they had was still there. Right inside the doorway, my daughter found this horrible-looking vest. it looked like it was made of camel hair. She giggled, tried it on, and went looking for a mirror. I told her, "I'll save you the trouble. You look like you're wearing road kill. In fact, I think I just heard a vulture flapping."
A cute SA came by to see if we needed help. She was a heart-stoppingly beautiful tall woman in a heart-stoppingly beautiful outfit. Black stretch pants, cute tall pumps, a long-sleeved top and sweater. Sigh. Why can't I look like that?! Anyway, after my little jealousy moment, she asked me what we were looking for. I described the skirt (a beautiful watercolor knee-length in blues and browns). She said, "Ohhh! I bought that last week when it went on sale! Let's see if there are any left." We walked to the rear of the store, and there were about 6 ladies furiously looking through the clothes. They looked up at me and my daughter and went right back to flipping through the hangars. The SA went to the skirt rack and said, "Hey! Looks like we have two left! Oh, one is a 14, and the other one is a 10." She looked at me and said, "Shoot. I be you're a 0 or 2, right?" I agreed, and she said, "I'm so sorry. I took the last size 0." I told her that it was OK, and that I'm sure she looked incredible in it. She said, "I should give you my number. You could borrow it any time!" I laughed and thanked her and thought of the myriad ways I used to try to ask for girls' numbers. This method was not one of them, but I wonder if it should have been?
She asked us if we were looking for anything else. I mentioned how cute her shoes were. She asked my size, and told me to sit down. She came out with a 10 and a 10 1/2 (she said they ran a little small). I tried on the 10 1/2 first. She looked at the gap and said, "Nope. Let's go with the 10's. I tried on the 10's and they felt great. "Wow!" she said, "We wear the same size clothes and the same size shoes. We totally need to be girlfriends and share stuff!" I walked around a bit and she said, "Girl, you work those shoes like a pro! I wish my boyfriend could figure it out." I cocked my head to the side with a puzzled look and she said, "I'm going to dress him up as a girl for Halloween. He fits in my shoes, so we've been practicing for a week or two. We started with a low heel, and he did OK, but the shoes I want him to wear are 3 1/2 inch stilettos. He's going to be hot! Not as hot as you, of course. I did his makeup and hair the other night - he has the most gorgeous long hair, much prettier than mine - and he was freaking stunning. If I didn't already know he was a boy, I would never have guessed. It's no fair when your boyfriend is prettier than you!" I told her that she was gorgeous, and to make sure that her boyfriend practiced - a lot. I told her to go to the mall with him, and do a lot of walking. She laughed and told me that she would make sure he did.
Well, The shoes were a little painful. I asked her how hers felt. She paused and said that they were OK, but that her huge horse-feet were never really comfortable in anything but Nikes anyway. I told her that I loved the look, but I have had much more comfortable pumps. I guess it must've been the last they used, because Ann Taylor shoes never really fit me. She apologized, and said to make sure to let her know if she could help me find anything else. I told her to have fun at Halloween, and asked what she was going as. She said she was going as a sexy Elmo. I told her that that sounded interesting, and she said to come on back afterwards and she would have pictures. I told her that I definitely wanted to see how her boyfriend turned out. She smiled and said that she was planning on taking plenty of pictures, and maybe even some glamour shots of him. She said with a laugh, "You never know when you'll need some blackmail pictures, right?" She said goodbye to my daughter and to me, and we went next door to the Apple Store.
The Apple Store was busy, as it seems to be at all hours of the day. My daughter and I played with the photo app on the iPads (someone is going to see some very interesting pictures!), looked around the store, and then went near the front again. There was a young woman there buying a Mac when this toddler in a stroller started throwing a tantrum. We all looked over as he threw his juice on the floor. Mr. America was oblivious, checking ESPN on one of the computers. After about three minutes of this, he finally left. Ewwwww! His t-shirt ended about 8 inches above the waistline of his shorts. Unfortunately, the waistline of his shorts ended up about 8 inches below his crack. Eww, ick, and ewwww again! Then, we heard this huffing sound. A man was coming from the back of the store trying to hold back this huge dog on a leash. The dog sounded like he was about to cough up something. I turned to the woman buying the computer and all the people gathered around and said loudly, "My gosh, They'll let anyone into this store!" They looked at me and laughed. I'm glad the irony wasn't lost on them.
Well, we left the Apple store and wandered around Coldwater Creek and banana Republic, but other than a cute floral dress (size 10. Sigh), nothing was found. As I had promised to show the ladies at Ulta what I bought, we headed back there. We pulled in, and the store was much busier than the morning. I found my friend and Red. Red said, "Yay! You bought the cords! Let me see them." I walked over and she told me to turn around. She pantomimed a stabbing motion towards me and said, "Woman, you are going to put us girls out of business looking that good. Seriously, you said you had no butt this morning? All I can say is Damn, girl! Baby does so have back!" I laughed, thanked her, and said these pants felt and fit so good. She asked me again where I got them, and said she would definitely check them out. She asked my daughter is she had fun, and my daughter told her of all the shoes she had tried on and what we had done. Red asked my daughter what her favorite color was, and led her towards the eyeshadows. My friend said it looked like I had a good day with my daughter. I agreed, and said it had been wonderful. We chatted for awhile, and she noticed that my skin looked great, and that I had no shadow. I told her that the laser was going amazing. Red and my daughter had come back, and she was doing my daughter's eyes in pretty pinks and browns. She heard that and said, "You're getting laser? That's wonderful! I was going to say that your skin was gorgeous, and ask you your secret." I told her plenty of water and moisturizer. I then said to my friend, "I forgot to ask this morning, how did I do on my makeup?" She laughed, did a dramatic hair flip and said, "So, tell me how perfect and beautiful I am!" She said she was just kidding, and said, "I was going to say this morning that you looked flawless. Let's see, your eyes are excellent, Your foundation looks great, pretty lips. You can do my makeup anytime." Red agreed, and said "If it wasn't for the shape of your face and your hands, you'd look totally like a woman. Heck, you look like a woman, just kind of a masculine one. I have a friend that has almost your face, but she is gorgeous. Not that you're not! (backpedal much?
My friend said, "Kathi, . . . do you like Kathi when you're a girl?" I told her that it didn't really matter - use what was comfortable to her. "Every time you come in dressed, you look amazing. You really have no idea how jealous you make us feel, do you?" she said. I scoffed and told her that every woman in the store made me jealous, and that they looked incredible. She said, "Well guess what, you are a woman in this store, and you look just as incredible as any one of us. We love when you come in here - no matter how you're dressed. You are always too stinkin' nice, you care about us, you love makeup, you're a great friend, and you're the most real woman I know. Get it through your head, girl!" I smiled and said I'd try.
A chime dinged, and my friend said she needed to go up to the front register. I said I needed to get home and turn back into a pumpkin. She offered to let me change here, but I said my kids were not at home, and that I could change there, but thanks. She hugged my daughter and me, and went up to the front. Red said her goodbyes as well, saying she hoped she would see me a lot in the future. I told her that was a guarantee, and we left.
Driving home, I reflected on our day. My daughter and I sang along to the radio - badly off key, but with happiness. As we were nearing home, I asked her about our day, and if she had fun. She said it was great, and that she loved her flats. I told her that our trip wasn't about buying stuff, but the fun of being together. She agreed. I asked her what she thought of our trip. She said it was fun. I asked her what she thought about me being dressed. She said with a laugh it would have been weird to try on girl's clothes dressed as a boy. I agreed. I then asked her the same question I had the few times she had seen me dressed before, "What do you think when you see me dressed as a woman?" She paused for a moment and said "Nothing." "What do you mean?" I asked. She said, "I see you as a person. Just . . . a normal person." My only thought, other than wondering if my mascara was waterproof, was love for this incredible person. Ya know, I think I'll keep her!
To close, I will add a picture of us at the end of the day before I put Kathi away (well, the clothing part, anyway). In deference to my daughter's age, I will block out her face. I am so glad that I have been blessed with a wonderful daughter!
Kathi
Last edited by Kathi Lake; 10-13-2011 at 01:49 PM.
That's such a great story. What I really admire is how honest and direct you are with your daughter and how maturely she's responded. So many positive experiences - seeing your interact with your friends, moving confidently among people, and being totally forthright about who you are. I think its absolutely wonderful!
my kids constantly surprise me. As she is my youngest, and I've already been through this with my son, I guess I'm surprised that I'm surprised.
I guess she knows that I love her - no matter how I'm dressed.
Kathi
What an absolutely lovely and uplifting story! This is how we are going to eventually have a society where people can simply be who they are!
I'm not out to my daughters yet but I can't wait!!! You should be very proud of her, and of yourself for being such a positive example to her!
Debby
And when do you expect this sort of utopian society will exist ?
I'm not clairvoyant but when harmless things like crossdressing or gender variance become demystified and de-stigmatized. When parents like Kathi and others simply live their lives as who they are and set an example for their children we are well on our way to doing this.
Last edited by Debglam; 10-13-2011 at 10:38 PM.
What a wonderful time for the both of you. We could use more parent-child bonding these days no matter how they are dressed. I'm so glad for the both of you.
I told my daughter about my dressing years ago. We have talked about it a few times but she has never actually seen me dressed. Maybe someday
AnitaH
Debby, this process took the better part of a year - constantly feeling her out, and gauging her readiness at each step. I would never want to push this upon anyone, especially my children. However, she always seemed open and receptive, so I pressed forwards. You can do this as well, but always keep an attentive ear to both what they're saying and what they're not saying. Only you know your children, and will know if and when to let them into this part of your life.
Definitely! I love spending time with my kids. It always has been, and always will be more precious to me than anything. As my wife is gone more than she is at home, it seems, my kids and I have spent a lot of time together (the poor things!). As a result, they have absorbed a bit of my sense of humor (again, the poor things!), and hopefully my love for life. My daughter and I do spend a lot of time together, as her brothers are 20 and 16, and already have their own lives and social circles. Who knows? Maybe if I spend enough time with her, she'll stop growing up so darn fast.
Kathi
Yay, a kathi thread! And we get to read the story of the daughter-telling! Yay!
Girl you look fantastic in those cords and you should listen to her when she said:
Get it through your head, girl!She said, "Well guess what, you are a woman in this store, and you look just as incredible as any one of us. We love when you come in here - no matter how you're dressed. You are always too stinkin' nice, you care about us, you love makeup, you're a great friend, and you're the most real woman I know. Get it through your head, girl!" I smiled and said I'd try.
There are designers that make boots for skinny @#$@#$ that make the rest of us jealous, like you. Though mine are a touch narrower than average so I usually do have a small gap,,, but I am short, so it's not as bad.
http://www.duoboots.com/products/boo...black_leather/
And I'm happy Kathi-daughter found some cute shoes, though I am surprised she didn't start her own dressing room in WHBM. "Hey dad here's what I'll look like in a few years"
And finally in that last picture I thought, "there's a furry monster attacking Kathi-daughter" and then.."Oh, that's just a FREAKING HUGE CAT".
Veronica
If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.
But it's hard! I mean, the feelings I have had in life have been ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, ostracized, accepted. Huh? Accepted? Talk about mental whiplash!
Oh my gosh! I just went to that website. They have 30cm calf widths! I could actually find boots that fit! Thanks, Veronica!!
Yes, that was my wife's graduation present. She has always wanted a Siamese. We got the little thing from a shelter nearby, and found out later it was actually a Himalayan. The cat is gorgeous, but dumb as a post. He'll let Kate carry him everywhere, nuzzling behind her ear. He was an adorable kitten. See:
Kathi
Beautiful. Thank-you for sharing your experience Kathi was nice to take flight for a few minutes.
A few? What are you, a speed-reader?!
Kathi
Definitely! I love spending time with my kids. It always has been, and always will be more precious to me than anything. As my wife is gone more than she is at home, it seems, my kids and I have spent a lot of time together (the poor things!). As a result, they have absorbed a bit of my sense of humor (again, the poor things!), and hopefully my love for life. My daughter and I do spend a lot of time together, as her brothers are 20 and 16, and already have their own lives and social circles. Who knows? Maybe if I spend enough time with her, she'll stop growing up so darn fast.
Kathi[/QUOTE]
Growing fast is what they seem to do best. Wish I knew how to slow mine down. I was a single parent for 15 years because of my daughter. Changed jobs even taking much lower pay and benifits to be able to spend time with her. Never regretted a minute of it. At 31 she recently got married and moved out. Still much too soon for me. I'm attempting to deal with another man being a part of her life. Enjoy your kids now while you can.
AnitaH
Anita, what a wonderful thing to do. I'm sure that you felt that you weren't 'giving up' anything to be with your daughter. Instead, you and she were both richer for it, I'll bet.
I hope she was able to find a wonderful man and that she will be happy. I know that day is coming for me as well. Although not a gun owner presently, I'm open to purchasing one when my daughter gets closer to dating age.
Kathi
Last edited by Kathi Lake; 10-17-2011 at 10:18 AM.
Kathi -- What a wonderful story. It's great that your daughter is fine with your dressing.
Sherrie Lynn Pall
Sometimes I make sense and that frightens me.
Please don't let me be the last post on this thread
That was a wonderful story. While reading about your shopping trip, I kept wondering what your daughter was thinking. I'm glad you summed it up at the end. You have an awesome girl there. It is very brave of you to share this part of your life with her and it also shows how open-minded she is. Not that I wish to continue that old debate early on but I don't think this will cause any problems for your daughter but rather allow her to see the world in a much different way. There may be days ahead when she might feel strange about this (teen years have a way of shaping a mind) but I also think about what an amazing day the two of you had together. True it is a little unconventional but it showed how mature she is to be willing to be seen in public with you (not that there is any doubt that you pass) and god you are so skinney. I am curious as to how this could effect the relationship between her and her mother. Do they go shopping and if they do, does the same attention dished out to your wife as it is to you? Your daughter is getting quite the socialogy lesson.
Shelby
Great story! My daughter goes to the grocery store with me and will be ready for clothes shopping any time I ask...However,being married to a Spanish woman....Mom Knows Best !! LOl! I think our daughters will be far more accepting than most and I am not afraid of doing damage.
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
ROFL!!! Loved this part. I can only imagine how you felt. Doing your best to blend into the situation and probably feeling pretty good about it, then your own daughter blows your cover. :-) How cute. Seems like you had a great recovery with your further interactions there.
I loved all of your story. Especially that you did not apologize for a long post. Why bother, I'd just stop reading (if it is too long and I loose interest). Always wonder why people post that.
Gen
Hi Kathi, It has been a while, since I have read one of your posts. Its been a while since I read any actually. I just wanted to tell you that hearing about your time as Kathi with your daughter just made my heart melt! And thats a hard thing to do or so it seems these days. She sounds really special, and I am sure that has a lot to do with you being a terrific Dad and fantastic lady! Ok if I remember correctly your next post is going to be self deprecating and humble. This time just take a bow will you. You deserve it! It takes really special parents to raise a young girl in todays world to be so open, and accepting. Only by knowing who you are and owning who you are, using the parts of you that so many hide, connecting with your daughter in such a way. It was just beautiful to read. Thanks so much for sharing it.
I guess what some people just do not realize that when you are just being you its not an act. And when its not an act people see it and respond positively. Even children who are usually the first to know when their parents are not being real.
Oh and by the way You rock the 00n skinny cords! Get over it you have a figure to die for!
best
Daphne
Kathi, I'm glad you had a nice day with your daughter. She's a cutie!
At first, not knowing her age and thinking she was adolescent, I couldn't figure out why she'd be so patient while you visited with your friends and tried on all the clothes. My niece, when she was 13-14, would have been bored unless the day was all about her! But, I see from the pic that she's young enough to enjoy tagging along for some one-on-one time together. But ... be prepared to have a much bigger cash outlay in a few years, and spend a lot more time in the young teen stores, with fashions that will cause you to shake your head in dismay!
She is very fortunate to have a dad who will enjoy doing all these things with her.
True to form though, I have a rather pragmatic question. Is your wife improving with her attitude? I thought she didn't want to know too much about the CDing. She's OK that you're doing things with your daughter dressed? Are things looking up?
Reine
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