CALLING ANOTHER XDRESSER "HON" or "sweetie" or "you look hot" - explain please

[CINDYO]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
Xdressers is married and says he is hetero. I notice in some of his posts that he is
complimenting anothers posted pics. Now it is more than a comment, or constructive crit as far as i am concerned when they tell this person that they "look hot" or call them sweetie or hon etc. Now remember this is suppost to be a 100% hetero guy who know full well that he is also looking a x dresser. Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie? I can see a compliment but this seems alittle much from a guy that is hetero just likes to xdress occ- or so he says. thanks in advance

[Karren H]

Do not have a clue why but I so hate being called those and a few others.. Really hate it.. Big time.

[Jeanna]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
Xdressers is married and says he is hetero. I notice in some of his posts that he is
complimenting anothers posted pics. Now it is more than a comment, or constructive crit as far as i am concerned when they tell this person that they "look hot" or call them sweetie or hon etc. Now remember this is suppost to be a 100% hetero guy who know full well that he is also looking a x dresser. Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie? I can see a compliment but this seems alittle much from a guy that is hetero just likes to xdress occ- or so he says. thanks in advance

Oh take it easy sweety

[MissMarcie]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
Xdressers is married and says he is hetero. I notice in some of his posts that he is
complimenting anothers posted pics. Now it is more than a comment, or constructive crit as far as i am concerned when they tell this person that they "look hot" or call them sweetie or hon etc. Now remember this is suppost to be a 100% hetero guy who know full well that he is also looking a x dresser. Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie? I can see a compliment but this seems alittle much from a guy that is hetero just likes to xdress occ- or so he says. thanks in advance

They're doing it because they think and they think others think that it makes them more femme. Yeah, I also think it's dumb, but that's the way it is.

[NathalieX66]

I get that too.
I don't mind the hot legs comments, but sweetie and hon stuff, I'm not big on. I will say that being objectified is a cool and unique experience, that much I'll stick up for.

I have been out at some CD events where the crowd is very mixed, and I'm all for that. But things can, and do get confusing for me when I start getting the attention that exceeds the compliments and goes into something else.
I justfy myself as a woman when I'm dressed up, and I want all the trappings. I'm too "lipstick lesbian" to consider strolling home with a guy.

[VioletJourney]

It's a little over the top. I've never met a GG who said hon or sweetie.

[Toni Citara]

If I think a guy has a smoking outfit and pulls off an amazing look, I will compliment him. I see nothing wrong with a compliment. I don't call another guy "sweetie" or "honey" or "girl". If they prefer to be referred to as a woman/she/her when dressed en femme, I will honor that wish. Otherwise it is ... Dayum Dude, Love the Heels!! LOL

[Debglam]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
Xdressers is married and says he is hetero. I notice in some of his posts that he is
complimenting anothers posted pics. Now it is more than a comment, or constructive crit as far as i am concerned when they tell this person that they "look hot" or call them sweetie or hon etc. Now remember this is suppost to be a 100% hetero guy who know full well that he is also looking a x dresser. Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie? I can see a compliment but this seems alittle much from a guy that is hetero just likes to xdress occ- or so he says. thanks in advance

Hi Cindy,

I don't think this has anything to do with the speaker's sexual preference. It has more to do with "getting into the role" for some individuals. If it makes the speaker feel a little more femme, so be it. No big deal but if you really take offense, PM the speaker and let them know.

Oh yeah, I frequent a couple of diners where all of the customers are "hon," "sweetie," etc. to the GF waitresses.

[Eryn]

I've met several who use those terms. I don't think that I would use them myself as I'm not in a situation where that would be proper.

When I comment on a photo on the forum I am commenting as one female would comment to another. If someone is obviously going for an edgy club look a comment of "you look hot" would be appropriate. I doubt that I'd ever be able to have that said of my normal looks!

[r0adstar]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
Xdressers is married and says he is hetero. I notice in some of his posts that he is
complimenting anothers posted pics. Now it is more than a comment, or constructive crit as far as i am concerned when they tell this person that they "look hot" or call them sweetie or hon etc. Now remember this is suppost to be a 100% hetero guy who know full well that he is also looking a x dresser. Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie? I can see a compliment but this seems alittle much from a guy that is hetero just likes to xdress occ- or so he says. thanks in advance

they're just adopting somewhat femme mannerisms, bro. Would you like to be called that instead of "hon" or "sweetie"?

[Kathryn Philips]

I'm not to keen on being addressed as hon or sweetie. Also, I think calling me "hot" would be inappropriate as I consider myself as an ordinary middle aged woman. One thing I do is sign most of my posts and PMs with kisses because as a woman it is the natural thing to do.

xxx
Kathryn

[Nesreen]

When I compliment another male crossdresser or transvestite I don't think of them as men, but as women. So, I don't see any confusion when a heterosexual compliments a girl. The term Sweetie and Hon.. I know why some CD/TG/TVs use it.. because it makes them sound feminine. Nothing more and nothing less.

So, CDs complimenting each other would never tell you their sexual orientation. Because I am sure homo, bi and hetero sexual do it all the time. Basically, we're just giving you the benefit of doubt...

[audreyinalbany]

the 'hon' and 'sweetie' appellation always reminds me a late-middle aged waitress. "Want some more coffee, hon?"

[Kittyagain]

It's a little over the top. I've never met a GG who said hon or sweetie.

It used to be quite common in the GG world and still is when dealing with children here in the South. I have been called sweetie just the other day a cashier at a grocery store. Well accepted and meant to be friendly.

That being said, I am not a fan of it here between us.

[Sophie86]

Here in the South, GGs will call complete strangers of either sex 'hon' and 'sweety' all the time. They will also compliment another girl on her appearance. It don't mean nothin', hon, bless your heart. It's just somethin' we say.

[Barbra P]

I’ve known several women over the years that call other women “Hon” or “sweetie”, it’s just their nature and was pretty sure they met nothing by it. I’ve worked with women who have also called the males in the workplace “Hon” or “sweetie” and none of the males thought anything of it either.

While I don’t particularly like being called by names, I don’t take offense either. Nor do I take offense from huggers and I’ve met women who when I was introduced hugged me and hugged me every time we met after that. I don’t come from a family that was big on hugging people outside of the immediate family, but I realize that doesn’t hold true for a lot of people. My Wife and I used to have a couple that we saw frequently and whenever we got together he would hug my Wife and kiss her on the cheek and his Wife would do the same to me and then his wife would then turn and give my Wife a hug. He had the good sense not to hug me thankfully.

I see a number of things that are frequently written here on the forum and as others have already stated I think it is just manifestation that people have adopted that they think makes them seem more feminine. I wouldn’t read too much into how many express themselves here and I certainly wouldn’t try and attach any sexual orientation to it.

[Kate Simmons]

Just terms of endearment my friend (Notice I didn't call you Hon?).

[LilSissyStevie]

It's pretty common in the South to use hon, honey, sweetie, sugar, etc as terms of endearment for either sex. I have an aunt that calls me "sugar" and I don't think I've ever heard her use my given name.

[Duana]

It used to bother me, but not any more. I know why they do it and while I don't use hon or sweetie, I'm sure I've used some other terms of endearment, though usually just names. I will definitely say a CD looks hot if she does, what's wrong with that? I like it when I'm told that so I assume they will like it too.

I quickly learned, going out in the world, that if you've going to present as a woman, you have to act like one. The first time a guy kissed my hand or cheek, was really weird but now its no big deal. Now I'm comfortable hugging guys, posing in pics, whatever. It doesn't make me gay. Its part of being a woman.

Some of you really need to take a chill pill and forget the homophobia.

[Jamie001]

When I am in my normal fem-guy mode of presentation, I would much rather be called hon or sweetie by sales associates. It sure beats being called "sir". I hate being called "sir".

[Kaz]

Here in the South, GGs will call complete strangers of either sex 'hon' and 'sweety' all the time. They will also compliment another girl on her appearance. It don't mean nothin', hon, bless your heart. It's just somethin' we say.

In the North of England, the term 'luv' was and is often used... as in "hello luv", "Aah, did she really, luv?"... it is just a term used to establish a link. Maybe the fact that more women use this phraseology than men is about establishing these bonds... a naturally feminine thing to do - unlike the male approach... handshakes are all about disclosing that you do not have a weapon... as in I am not going to kill you (wll at least not right now!)...

There are some affectations I hate and yeah... hon, sweetie are not very UK... but I accept them as intended... no harm done!

[Sophie86]

Maybe the fact that more women use this phraseology than men is about establishing these bonds... a naturally feminine thing to do - unlike the male approach... handshakes are all about disclosing that you do not have a weapon... as in I am not going to kill you (wll at least not right now!)...

Southern men used to use terms like "honey" and "sweetheart" towards women, but I think that's gone out now. I consider it mostly harmless, but a salesman once called my wife "honey" and she let him have it with both barrels. It wasn't the word so much as the context, but he was absolutely being patronizing towards her.

[Kaz]

Southern men used to use terms like "honey" and "sweetheart" towards women, but I think that's gone out now. I consider it mostly harmless, but a salesman once called my wife "honey" and she let him have it with both barrels. It wasn't the word so much as the context, but he was absolutely being patronizing towards her.

Arrogant male salesmen and sensitive female customers... a marriage made in heaven!

I spent a large part of my life negotiating on behalf of my wife! I just love all the issues about terminology and phrases... it fits in my professional area sadly, so I am 'into it'...

It is amazing how terms have changed and will always change. Honey becam 'hon' and sweetheart became 'sweetie', although sweetie has other conotations over here.. a sweetie is someone who does things for others... the worst is to be a male and be a'sweetie' in the eyes of the women.. it somehow feels good but it is also very demeaning... "Oh Bob, he is such a sweetie!"... kinda makes you feel used and abused... but they sure as hell love you to bits!

The only people who call me 'sir' in the UK are some foreign students (I teach) or policemen... think about that!

[ReineD]

To get the thread back on track ...

This isn't a regional question so much as Cindy is asking about a wife whose husband leaves comments that are in the same spirit of : "Oh, what a hottie", or "You're so cute, babe", or even, "Humma, humma, you've got great legs!"

What does this mean?

I'm just trying to help Cindy get some answers from what I think is the intent of her question.

[Duana]

I have a question that i can not figure out. Maybe someone here can send along alittle insite.
...
Not trying to offend anyone but would a straight x dresser call another x dresser sweetie?

Following Reine's guidance, the answer is, yes; obviously, empirically, however you want to look at it. You seem to be puzzled at how a straight CD could do that. My answer is, I'm secure in my sexual orientation and my manhood. Its no different than walking, talking and dancing like a woman. The better question, IMHO, is why would a CD act like a man while presenting as a woman. That's just weird, again, IMHO.