Sounds like a sound reason to me. I work in a hospital and we need to shave some men before EKG's, etc.
Sounds like a sound reason to me. I work in a hospital and we need to shave some men before EKG's, etc.
When you get older and that chest hair turns gray, please shave it off or it will look like you have a shirt full of Spanish Moss. It will take years off your look. Promise!
And like the others said, be honest.
Kitty
My daughter asked me once why I shaved my arms and chest, I told her it was very European and I like the feel of it. Nothing more was said. I've been shaving my entire body, less my head - which I am thinking about shaving also, for years now. No one notices. I've seen men with no hair on their legs, I don't know if they went "bald" on their legs or if they shaved it. I started shaving my legs when i noticed I did have "bald spots" on my legs. The feeling was great so I kept moving up my body.
Do it for yourself, everyone else will adjust....
Steffi, that's ingenuous
Steffi, that's ingenuousOriginally Posted by Sometimes Steffi; (#1) 2636143
(had to look up the spelling even lol). I spent about 2-3 years of pulling out the hairs on my legs - one-at-a-time (ouch!) - while sitting in shorts in the evening sunset, and complaining about each-and-every-one-of-them as they departed; "those damn ugly hairs, those damn ugly hairs," before I ever got to the real thing (BTW all over my body) with her final concurrence.
Go girl, go!
There are other considerations here.
My SO is not well-built. No shoulders to speak of, no real chest but barrel ribs. Without chest hair he looks....well, even less manly.
Then there is the consideration of the skin condition. If you are older you may find you have blotchy or scaly skin left unless you are prepared to do something called exfoliation. So you have to moisturise it, too.
Remember the extra showering time if you have to shave this area every day, and moisturise.
Also remember why your SO likes your chest the way it is. If she seriously likes hairy men remember she has the right to go out and find one.
And lastly, the argument isn't about shaving or not. You are doing this purely because you are a crossdresser. It is your body to do with as you like but your SO made her choice based on what she saw. You change the aesthetics,she might fancy a change, too.
In short, if you need a medical excuse to do this you are not being honest with yourself nor her. She deserves more respect.
(And possibly the opportunity to look for a new man who is hairy and gives her respect!)
Now where did you leave that razor.......?
Shave Away - Good, legitimate excuse!
This is true. And sadly, I suspect there is more room for a willingness to please a partner at the beginning of a relationship when all is love and roses. But after a while, when the relationship settles into something that must be worked at in order for it to continue to thrive (as they all do), I can see where a CDer's priorities may change and he will choose a smooth chest over his SO's preference for the feel of a man in bed.
I've often wondered what happens to the many young GGs who post in the GG intro section all starry-eyed about being in new relationships with CDers and who just don't come back after a few months. Either they rode happily off into the sunset with their CDing bfs and they don't need any support, or things changed to the point where they've moved on from the relationship. I know this possibility is grim and I don't want to scare anyone, but what Allsteamed up says is true. Everyone has choices.
To the OP ... I think you really do have a better chance of at least getting your SO to understand why you want to shave your chest if you tell her the truth. If you don't, I think she will clue in to the other things you do to express your femininity and she will feel lied to. And perhaps turned-off.
Last edited by ReineD; 10-27-2011 at 09:23 AM.
Reine
Kitty, I LOVE this!!! I remember Spanish moss from when I lived in the South as a kid.. LOL!! Now if my SO ever grows his chest hair back, I will look forward to it turning grey!!!
Thanks for the chuckle.
Originally Posted by Allsteamedup
It is your body to do with as you like but your SO made her choice based on what she saw. You change the aesthetics,she might fancy a change, too.
In short, if you need a medical excuse to do this you are not being honest with yourself nor her. She deserves more respect.
(And possibly the opportunity to look for a new man who is hairy and gives her respect!)
Now where did you leave that razor.......?
ReineD
This is true. And sadly, I suspect there is more room for a willingness to please a partner at the beginning of a relationship when all is love and roses. But after a while, when the relationship settles into something that must be worked at in order for it to continue to thrive (as they all do), I can see where a CDer's priorities may change and he will choose a smooth chest over his SO's preference for the feel of a man in bed.
Sorry I don't know how to do the multi-post quote thing...
This one hits really close to home. No, I don't want to have an affair. But how do we reconcile what I like with his desire to be hairless all over to be better able to pass, or just because it makes him feel good?? This is one of the areas that makes me feel so... helpless/frustrated/hopeless. And then all the little misunderstandings of body language being misinterpreted creep in... A sigh is interpreted to mean anger when it was really one of longing for something that one feels slipping away. One person gets huffy, the other feeds on that and emotions escalate, whether they are expressed verbally or not.. Once again, it's that magic panacea... COMMUNICATION. I wish he could just open his mouth and say what he's feeling in the moment.
Just Elizabeth
i agree with Eryn, just say you like a clean chest, legs, other. hair is gross. but i wish it would grow up top again.
.
Interesting. I have been shaving my underarms for many years and I got used to it. When I go to the Dr.'s for a physical he sees it and he doesn't say anything. Also in the summer when I go swimming people must have seen it. I really would like to wax off my chest hair, though. I don't know about shaving such a large area.
Just a thought.
Angela
Always tell the truth, it's easier than trying to remember all the lies.
SarahLynn
Great leaders are not great because of their words or deeds but because of the greatness they inspire from others."
(Legends of the StarDancer)
I loved your reply. Really very true these bits
been there done that....
*edit* also forgot to add. There was a time this summer all summer long when my husband continued to shave his legs. Which he told me much earlier oh I'll shave for winter a few times and let it grow for summer. Well never happened (btw I don't mind no chest hair it's the no leg or arm hair that creeps me out and turns me completely off). Anyway I caught myself looking at other men's legs all summer It's not something I typically do lol and just seeing their leg hair kinda made me happy inside to see leg hair. I missed it so much but I knew that once in bed I would have to deal once again with no leg hair. Not that I would ever ever cheat on my husband I just really enjoyed looking at men's leg hair this summer lol
Last edited by SweetPea_GG; 10-27-2011 at 01:38 PM. Reason: merged consecutive posts please use either the edit or multiquote function as multi posting is not allowed
I love the fact that my husband can piss me off and make me laugh within seconds of each other!
I can handle being alone, but doesn't want to be married and feeling alone.
The only reason the grass looks greener on the other side is because you don't have to mow that lawn.
Husbands are like children, they behave best when they are sleeping.
It's always nice when your husband just looks at you and tells you out of the blue, "You are Beautiful"
I remember how nervous I was when I first shaved my body hair off. What if I had to go to the doctor or someone else notices? I quickly became more comfortable without the hair. I doubt anyone will ask but if they do, I will tell the truth, I do not like body hair. Why would I have to explain futher what I do to my body? My wife likes the way I look too.
I just said it was coming in gray and it made me feel old, so I shaved it off and immediately felt much better.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
What annoys me is, im a different sort of hairy man. I dont have much than a soulpatch of chest hair, cept my nipples grow hair. and it starts on my belly and goes straight down till my ankles! D=
I figured id try and shave my legs. Ick! Never again. Not only was i paaale as a vampire, as ive never actually done it before, and my skin is super sensitive, i was covered in red blotchy places where the razor got too close to the skin. But then about half way up each thigh i found myself thinking, "Where does this stop?" Even assuming I'd be comfortable trying to shave my twig and giggleberries, which, fyi, no. i refuse to scratch at them even more than usual, where do you stop then? You can't just shave your belly, can you? and who's to say that id be wanting to do this everytime i shower?Bleh. I'm happy being a shaggy man myself and, while i had the whole, "Does my woman care what I look like?", I remember that she loves me in a chemise and a pair of panties in bed so, a bit of natural body hair ain't a thing to sweat.
You and she need to come to some kind of agreement. My wife knows, and likes hairy legs. We came to the compromise that I could shave for the 6 months from late autumn through winter and to very early spring. Through late spring, summer and early autumn I do not shave my legs, chest or armpits. I do trim other areas year round, she is OK with that. I don't like not being able to shave year round, she doesn't like that I want to shave. We each get half the year the way we prefer, which is as fair as we can get it.
Anna
Ya I'm with the don't lie crowd for sure. I too keep my body shaved, it looks and feels better that way and in turn I feel better about myself.
I started shaving under my arms when I first noticed you could see a tuft of hair with my arms down. Yuck! So I just shaved the outside edges to keep that from happening. Not long ago, I noticed in my hurry over time I shaved the whole area and must have been for sometime. Now it looks natural to me now.
Kitty
ewwww sounds like trouble to me. First problem is your wife knows but doesn't really know. If that's the case even fessing up and telling her you intend to shave your chest could bring up more questions. Like why shave if CD-ing is such a minor thing for you? See what I mean?
And let's say you do, get a way with it, is just compounding things IMO. Like piling lies onto of lies or at the best minimizing or some other word play game. And it is a lie to mislead your wife even if you feel it's just a little one. Best bet imho is to have a heart to heart with your wife so she knows where she stands and where you are with the CD-ing.
Nope, it's sure not the easy way, but in the long term I think it'll make life better for you both. Good luck Steffi.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
So here's a real funny follow-up.
After my CPAP titration sleep test, I went to the Docs to get fitted for a CPAP mask. I told him the one that I used during the sleep study was very uncomfortable because it was too big for my nose. The Doc said that I had a very petite nose (I think he meant width, not length, because I have a very long nose) and he suggested that I try the "Swift FX for *Her* " CPAP mask. So I joked with the Doc and said as long as it was comfortable. I was way old enough not to worry about whether it was pink or blue (ha ha). So, when his assistant comes in to fit me for the mask, it is indeed pink.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Lying/deceiving - bad. Your body - good.
One of the things I don't understand in these discussions is why the logic doesn't work the other way 'round. I.e, GG's STOP shaving, change their dress habits, radically change their hair color and styles, maybe even get plastic surgery, tattoos, etc. All frequently on their own initiative, and without the dire relationship implications. Just sayin'.
Also, no-one's mentioned that for many who married younger, body hair changes *considerably* over the years. What the SO saw at the start of the relationship often is NOT what the husband has now! So if the issue is what she married, then maybe some hair removal is warranted! There's an aspect of resisting change in this as much as anything else.
Lea (thank GOD for a rational, understanding, loving wife!)
I shave up there, and my wife asked me about it. I said I like it with my tops, it does look a tad strange when there's hair below though
I shave because I like it that way, it's also cooler and I work outside. Could care less if someone thinks it's odd.
If they press the issue, I just tell them to go watch an MTV spring break episode, none of those guys have body hair, not a single one.
Perhaps... for a time... but at what cost? Is your SO your best friend or not? Deceit is like a snow ball that grows and grows. Then one day it blows up in your life like a volcano that slowly simmers.
But if you continually sow the seeds of honesty and respect I think you can alleviate these traumatic life changing events. You both mutually spark the romance that brought you together in the first place. The dating never ends... and so the romance.
Honesty in my view is always the best policy in the long term.
Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smileas you share. It will come through in your beautiful words.
Your Sister/Brother,
Debbie/Steve
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