Defiance
another day out dressed, even a little more overt than usual for me (and more so than yesterday). and i got a lot of stares. when this happens, i feel a certain defiance toward the starer - not in a confrontational, aggressive manner, more like a 'say something or close your mouth' kinda of way. the lady i was meeting for lunch liked the way i was presented, and with that as my motivation, i was able to smile to myself.
how do you ladies deal with being stared at?
Just look 'em in the eye and smile
DonnaT
I have only limited experience out, and have to confess to enjoying being a bit scandalous. I just remind myself that their stares are their actions, not mine, and that it says more about them than about me. I think that allows me to be a bit charitable about providing some entertainment for them.
Liz
I have rarely noticed anyone staring. Don't really care if they do or not... I'm too busy doing what I'm doing and most people are too busy with their lives.
I was dressed in my halloweeen costume a couple days ago, which was a knee-lenth pink little girls dress with a petticoat undrneath, and I caught a few stares in my local Stop & Shop grocery when I went to pick up bananas and microwave popcorn, but the fact is I really don't care. It may have been an eyeload for the customers & staff, but I came from a nearby parade & block party, and I was tired.
Normally, I dress to blend in when I'm out in the open, but if it's an evening event and I'm decked out in a sexy outfit. and I need to pick up something at Walgreen's, i just don't care and I go about my business.
Do we not all stare at anything out of the ordinary when we first notice it. Staring at something unusual is a common reaction until we are sure of what we are seeing and make some sort of rational about why we are seeing it.
Who really know what others are thinking when we catch them staring at us? Just continue your normal business and it will pass.
That's a nice anecdote. I don't mean to be snide, hope this doesn't sound that way, but my initial reaction was to ask rhetorically, mostly in a spirit of self-preservation, "Good Lord, what was she wearing that made New Yorkers stare at her?" followed by "I wonder which borough she was in?" During the daylight hours I always dress to blend, hardly ever leave Manhattan, can't recall anyone actually staring at me, and am thinking that you're at least as passable as I am. New Yorkers in general behave like prison inmates and avoid eye contact anyway, do you think maybe the staring person in question might have been an out of towner?
Another possible answer may be that I'm just more oblivious and/or clueless.
It's all in your attitude and between your ears, lol. But most people are so wrapped up in their own little worlds they don't even notice.....of course I'm still uptight usually when I'm out too....someday will get over it!
Truthfully I don't notice it anymore because I don't look to see who is looking at me.
I'm usually made aware of it by someone else and by that time it's too late to have a reaction.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I look right back at them, give them my best girl wave or wutever and say "Hiiii....do I know you or want to?". Almost every time it catches 'em off guard and they usually strike up a civil conversation, quit staring or just slink away 'cuz they've been busted. It's like OMG, they think they know something I don't LOL.
I am like Karren, but occasionally I do notice someone smiling and maybe talking secretly with the person next to them. At moments like that I usually smile at them and wave. They either look away or smile and wave back. Win - win for both of us.
[SIZE="4"]So a gurlfriend and I are descending the stairs from my apartment while dressed. One of the local teenage boys from the neighborhood is standing there staring at us. I just looked at him and said "Pretty cool, huh?". Kind of took him by surprise. Me too![/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
I don't worry about it too much. After all, a well-turned-out 6'+ woman is going to get a few looks. I take it as a compliment.
I really don't want to get into mad-dogging with someone by matching stares. I just go on about my business.
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
I went into Dress Barn yesterday fully dressed with heels and got stared at, the 3 ladys behind the counter didnt make a move to help me or speak so just turned around and left
Then went to pay less shoes and was treeted nice.
I find this unusual for a Dress Barn. The SAs there are usually particularly helpful because they have rather high "sales goals" and they really don't care who does the buying. Their target is to have each customer spend at least $100 per visit.Originally Posted by Melindagirl
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
The quality of employees can vary a lot from location to location even in the same franchise. I know from travelling up and down the east coast that some franchises are top notch in some areas in terms of how they present themselves and professionalism and go one state over and you can find the same franchise to be completely dispicable in every concievable way.
Gee whiz. Get real. Guys stare at women all the time. It's a fact of life. You all know this. You're GUYS right?
If you are gonna go out presenting as women, you're gonna get stared at. Better get used to it.
S
I always felt that a smile is the best icebreaker. So I am with Donna. Look over at them, smile, and continue on.
Karren, I think the only reason anyone would ever stare at you would certainly not be for that reason, but because they see an exceptionally beautiful woman! I see so many others on CD.com that I have a hard time believing they are not GGs. So many even in this thread alone!
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