The longer I am in women's clothes, the more I want to stay there. This is common to so many post on this forum.
Like the cigarette, dressing is a means to a sense of well being. Those of us that smoked then quite know that nicotine is the best over the counter drug you can buy. Dressing is a very, very, close second for some, for others it s all consuming and knocks on the door of crack cocaine.
So many post show the worst addicted, take dressing over their family.
Am I wrong on this?
Kitty
Nope... Not me... Never smoked (cigarettes).... Never been addicted or dependent on anything. And who says wearing women's clothing gives me sense of well being?
Last edited by Karren H; 11-04-2011 at 07:17 AM.
Ok, I've read your responses along these lines now any number of times. Believe me, I totally understand feeling the difference between wanting and needing to dress, as I share it. Still, I would expect some sort of positive effect. In my case it hovers somewhere between relief and normalcy. Do you not experience anything similar? You certainly always LOOK happy in your photos.Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
Lea
Perhaps you have a valid point for some! But there are many like me that were born to be fem! Therefore I don't see it as an addiction! Hugs!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
[SIZE="4"]I was considerably more addicted to cigarettes than to CDing. I was dressed and out both Friday and Saturday of last weekend and haven't been dressed since! Will be going out dressed tonight.
Also, after an evening out I usually can't wait to get out of my clothes and into something comfortable like bed! Dressing is great, just wouldn't want to have to do all the time.[/SIZE]
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
The more I try to understand why , the more I lean toward that it is not merely an addiction. I think many people condition themselves to associate dressing with a sexual release and that the masturbation becomes addictive. But , with more study going on with genetics and the workings of our brains it seems that some of us are genetically predisposed to be more feminine than the rest of the male population. I don't know if these studies have been done specifically on crossdressers or transgendered people , they have been done with regard to other human traits .
I'm no expert , I just think it goes beyond a "simple" addiction to be feminine.
Last edited by Jane P; 11-04-2011 at 08:51 AM. Reason: spelling
Never been hooked on anything but CDing.
I wouldn't expect to hear a yes, to this question, on a crossdressing forum. Some non-crossdressers, particularly spouses of crossdressers, would probably say yes based on their observations of the apparent obsession with feminine dressing of cd's they know. But I wouldn't base my conclusions on their opinion either, because they are too personally involved with the consequences of the behaviour. There are no therapy groups that I am aware of, such as alcoholics anonymous or gamblers anonymous, for crossdressers and I have never heard of any 12 step programs to control the urge to crossdress. Most so-called expert opinion, including psychologists, psychiatrists and other medical groups no longer consider it to be anything pathological, so the answer is likely no. It does share some characteristics with addictions in some people, however. I don't worry about it, though, because if it is an addiction, it is a relatively harmless one, and is controllable to a large extent (i.e. we can control where and when we indulge, how much we spend etc.) usually without outside assistance.
Veronica
I'm happy no matter what I wear! Lol. And I get a sense of well being all the time too... Changing my clothes really doesn't change anything but my looks..... And many times that barely changes too! Sigh.....
I understand your question. I don't think you are wrong, but I feel there's a lot more to it.
Those who are happy with their gender and dress to satisfy a fetish, may develop addiction, as it is the case with any habit. We do it so often that we become "hooked". First, we seek that gratification time and again, until the point of exhaustion. At that stage, the interest generally wanes. It's like that with a cool song, a TV show, physical activity, or mostly anything that produces a thrill.
However, those who dress because they have gender identification issues don't dress because they are addicted to it. They dress because they have no other choice. Dressing represents relief and redemption. It is an attempt to make things right and correct the disconnect between mind/soul and body.
I definitely fall in the second group. I have gone long periods without dressing, but it didn't change what I feel inside one bit. Whereas an "addict" wouldn't be able to go without their addiction for too long.
My two cents, anyway.
Merriam Webster provides the following definition to the transitive verb addict: "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively <addicted to gambling>"
Based on that definition ... yes, I am addicted to crossdressing. I used to be addicted to cigarettes, but I quit in 1994.
I don't agree that my CD addiction necessarily implies that I would "take dressing over [my] family", as the OP suggests. While my kids were growing up and needed attention from me, I devoted virtually zero time to crossdressing (although I thought about it often). Similarly, I never made smoking cigarettes a priority when my family needed me.
As always, I enjoy and accept the alternate view points.
I remember a Karen post where she posted on why she dresses the simple answer "Because I have too." Marilyn posted an addict is one who surrenders. That seems to fit.
I know for myself the longer I go without dressing, the more I want too. Nicotine did the same thing to me. As I see it, I want the feeling I get from dressing, the clothes, like cigarettes is just a mechanism to get there.
Great replies everyone. I enjoyed each one.
Kitty
That's interesting, and good on all the positives, of course! Do you experience nothing emotionally or psychologically, then? To what do you attribute the need? (apologies if too personal)
Lea
I would not call it an addiction myself... but there is a sociological need for me to do this. I believe it is related to gender and our societies narrow definition of how we present. Now our bodes and our minds react in many ways that we do not understand fully. Is it possible that my mind uses the avenue of clothing to express femininity that I have suppressed for so long? And could my body use mechanisms similar to an addiction?
I can't answer theses questions with certainty but that is my theory at the moment. An addiction suggests I sick... and need to be cured... relieved of my addiction.
For over fifty years I tried not to dress. I did everything I could to accept only dressing as a male. I removed things that were feminine from my life. The result... it did not cure me... and I was unhappy suppressing my femininity.
So I do not believe this is an addiction for myself but rather a gender identity issue. Just as a person should never suppress a trauma or their emotions without harming their mind and body. Repressed emotions or a trauma can explode if not given an avenue to express it. Gender identity I think is the same... but I'm no expert. This is just my opinion... or theory.
Don't suppress who you are inside your heart. Let the world know how special you really are. Don't forget to smileas you share. It will come through in your beautiful words.
Your Sister/Brother,
Debbie/Steve
you are correct, definetly an addiction that needs to be controlled or it will destroy many facets of one's life
I am NOT one who feels TG. And, at age 60+, I've never been prone to an addiction or compulsion! They don't seem to occur in my family either.
However, I DO find that dressing has become an extreme compulsion for me! If there were a CDs Anonymous, I'd at least go a meeting! Not sure I'd stand up and confess, "Yes! I admit it! I'm a crossdresser!", tho!
Honestly, if I found something that was HALF as much fun and/or satisfying, I mite try substituting it! Anyone have any suggestions?
No, thanks, Karren! I'm too old and brittle for hockey!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I can, and have, stop if I want to. To me, dressing is just a fun activity to pass the time, one option out of so, so many.
Not personal at all. I don't get excited or aroused.. Almost mundane.... Like something on my to-do list... "Take out the garbage, clean the garage, go to the hardware, go play ice hockey, dress up like a girl". Lol. Been that way for some time. Dressing in feminine clothing is "normal" feeling but so is dressing in male clothes... feels the same... Looks different.
All this thread is doing is teaching us what we already know.
That we are all different within the confines of crossdressing.
Some do it for one reason and some for that and so on.
I would rather not worry about it and just be Suzy and have fun.
Several thoughts.
The need to express an alternative gender identity than birth sex is not an addiction/compulsion, even though both can share similar characteristics.
There are crossdressers who develop shopping or sexual compulsions, or who are inordinately preoccupied with the expression of self to the detriment of other obligations and responsibilities. There are other crossdressers who don't and who aren't. So, the self-preoccupation, the compulsive shopping, and the sexual compulsion are separate from the act of crossdressing itself.
Some (most?) crossdressers and most addicts will feel the need to hide the extent of their actions from society at large. But, both do it for different reasons. A crossdresser feels he needs to hide because we do live in a world that is biased against alternative gender expression, even though he is not harming himself or others when he dresses (providing he does not engage in the compulsions mentioned in the prior paragraph). To dress openly might risk unpleasant consequences for some CDs. An addict most definitely causes self-harm and/or risks harming others, even though open manifestations of his behaviors (losing the farm at the racetrack or getting drunk in public for example) will often not cause other people to express open scorn.
A crossdresser will not be in denial over his need to express an alternative gender identity. An addict will often be in denial over the extent of his addiction, and he will not be aware of the bodily and/or psychological harm he inflicts upon himself and his loved ones.
The question remains, how do couples where one partner CDs define what is excessive or problematic and what is not, if a wife is completely opposed to the CDing? She may well feel that dressing once per week or once per month is excessive and is therefore an addiction. Whereas a crossdresser may feel that expressing himself three times per week is sufficient.
So, excluding the transsexuals who do reach a point where they can no longer live as men, my opinion is, there isn't an issue as long as there is balance (this means a genuine satisfaction with also living as a guy) and as long as other responsibilities and obligations are met happily and not reluctantly. And of course as long as there aren't also issues with the shopping and/or sexual acting out.
Another question is raised when a CDer reaches a point of isolation in order to CD. That is, he gives up family and friends and willingly lives a solitary life and he further takes no steps to transition. To isolate oneself from most other human contact seems counter-intuitive to leading a happy life, but there are just so many variables that may cause such a situation that it is difficult to determine whether the CDing for this person is a compulsion or not.
Although I'm sure I haven't addressed every possible variation or problem area.
Reine
I tried smoking in my early twenties for two packs worth. I couldn't taste good food (or bad). My hair stunk. My clothes stunk. My fingers stunk. I had to wash my hair too often. Smoking sucked. During classes I sat in a blue haze that circled my head. I'd rather be in a pink fog. I'm en femme when I feel the need. I can go without dressing for three months without beating my head against the wall. I control my cross dressing. A smoker is controlled by cigarettes. I just hope any of your who chew tobacco don't do it when en femme! YUCK! That would be an addiction!!!
No, we're not addicted. I'm a recovered alcoholic and I've gotten addicted to a couple of prescription drugs, even though I used them legally. When you stop dressing do you spend the entire next day with your head in the toilet puking your guts out? No. Do you get the shakes so bad you can't hold a cup of coffee? No. Do you spend an entire week with the cold sweats so bad that you feel like you just stepped out of of the shower? No. Do you lay awake night after night imagining that you are in hell and that demons are appearing next to your bed to torment you? No.
We use the term "addiction" much too lightly today. Real addiction is the closest thing there is to hell on earth. Crossdressing is just the opposite. It brings me happiness, not misery. Just because you like something so much that you do it all the time does not mean you're addicted to it. Do you eat food? Every day? Do you do this because you're addicted to food, or because food is necessary to maintain life?
For me, crossdressing is like food. It's necessary for me because it helps me maintain my happiness and my sanity.
CK
Last edited by CynthiaD; 11-04-2011 at 03:04 PM.
After a quick search I found this old (2008) article regarding genetic research and transgenderism. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7689007.stm
It suggests that while some of us may be genetically predisposed to being transgendered or crossdressers , how it affects each individual will vary.
I eat every day, so am I addicted to food?
I'm sure you all answered, "No" since food is a requirement of our biochemistry. I would argue that being transgendered is also an issue of biochemistry. Once one realizes the nature of our selves, how does one put that back into the bottle?
An addiction comes from some outside source while being transgendered comes from within.
tina
Y'all put up some good arguments for "No it is not addicting." I still thank it is but not so convinced as I was when I made the post.
Just thought of this. When I smoked, I dressed far less. Probably a coincidence in time but still interesting.
Kitty
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