Are We Addicted?

[Shananigans]

Anyone who puts something as impermanent and materialistic as how they dress above their families is delusional and I doubt will ever know the true meaning of happiness.

I'd wear a potato sack and a paper bag over my head if it came down to it or losing my family. (What I wear only has to do with an outward portrayal of my gender...my gender itself comes from within). Your family are *usually* the only people in this world that love you unconditionally, and that's why it's so devastating to lose a parent or child. I'm sorry, but if anyone puts a manner of dress over something as important as that...I feel very sorry them, because they are not living. When looking back on your life, will you say that it was worth anything? A selfish person isn't missed and a selfish person does not offer anything to anyone but themselves.

I disagree when it is said that "so many posts take dressing over their family." I wouldn't stay here if that were the case, because I don't associate with people that are that low.

I can take arguments where people say "this is a part of me and it is important." It seems like everyone struggles with balance. But, we struggle with balance in EVERYTHING in life.

Your CDing is not a special phenomenon. It merits no more special attention than other things in life. When you are out of balance, you suffer. And, THAT'S what I see on this forum.

Asking a husband to completely abandon something that makes him happy is unfair because the absence of something isn't exactly being in balance either. But, choosing a method of dress over anything else in your life is on the other end of being imbalanced.

[kendra_gurl]

Addressing an addiction to food or tobacco or drugs which are a chemical addiction which alters the blood chemstry is not the same as crossdressing for those who do not consider themselves transgender.

For a lot of us crossdressing If its an addiction is more like an addiction to internet porn or Girly magizines or reading erotic stories. While most of us who have dressed for years and years the sexual part of it has deminished quite a bit the visual stimulas has not.

Other non chemical addictions are gambling, workaholics, shopping, video games, all of which affect the brain in some manner simular to our desire to crossdress rather than alter our chemistry.

Even visiting this site is addictive for me.

Funny thing about most any non chemical addiction is that you can get by fine without it when you know you can't or you don't have an oppertunity to satisfy that urge. But the moment you know an oppertunity will be come available it consumes your every thought to plan for it.

I dress just about as often as I want so its easy for me to think It's just something I enjoy instead of an addiction but I think any of us who try to give it up after a few months may find it an addiction they cannot break.

[Kate Simmons]

Nope just pleasingly plumpt. If we take it too seriously and don't have fun with it, we are going down the wrong path in my opinion. The family always has to come first, despite our "needs".

[VioletJourney]

I eat every day, so am I addicted to food?

I'm sure you all answered, "No" since food is a requirement of our biochemistry. I would argue that being transgendered is also an issue of biochemistry. Once one realizes the nature of our selves, how does one put that back into the bottle?

An addiction comes from some outside source while being transgendered comes from within.

tina

You can accept being female on the inside but still wear male clothes though. At the end of the day, clothes and makeup are all just fabric and pigment.

[Shananigans]

You can accept being female on the inside but still wear male clothes though. At the end of the day, clothes and makeup are all just fabric and pigment.

I can't insert just the clapping symbol, so you get this sentence.

[kendra_gurl]

You can accept being female on the inside but still wear male clothes though. At the end of the day, clothes and makeup are all just fabric and pigment.

But the reflection you see in the mirror can become addictive

[Shananigans]

But the reflection you see in the mirror can become addictive

Don't hang out in front of the mirror so much for it to become an addiction.

Train for a marathon...do something nice for your SO...volunteer.

These things are much more rewarding than looks, which deteriorate with time.

[rhonda]

Addiction absolutey you cant turn it off ,the more you do it the more you want to do it . I think it's a wonderful thing to do I love it want to get better at it

[*Vanessa*]

.
Nope, never been addicted to anything but "Addicted to Love" an old song just popped into the noddle.

You maybe experiencing the rush of Endorphins through your vanes. I here they can do a number on a dudette

[DeniseNJ]

I do not know if some kind of satisfacation chemical is sercreted into the brain when we dress. Some say it is a stress reliever, some say it is comforting when we dress . What ever it is, the more we do it, the more of a craving we create to be feminine again. It is hard to accept the inner girl when she wants to look pretty because those cravings can come when we least expect it... My 02 cents

[Launa]

I'm not addicted to it but I sure like doing it though. The only time I think its an addiction is if it takes over the family dynamics. It can be a real hard balance for some of us. If my CDing didn't have an impact on my family then it would just be like all the other fun stuff I do, skiing, boxing, renovations to the house etc...Too bad everybody has to give us some shit about it.

[ReineD]

OK. I'm changing my mind about the CDing being an addiction for some people. Come to think about it, I'll read a few posts from people and tell myself, "Naaaah." And then I'll read something else and think, "Yup, there are endorphins and dopamine at play here."

One thing I've learned in this forum ... there are no absolutes!

[TGMarla]

Um.....yeah, man. I'm like....addicted man. Maiden monkey on my back. I mainline this stuff, man! That's why there's spikes on the shoes.

Addicted, obsessive, whatever. I do tend to do it a lot, and there are times when the compulsion to do it is very strong.

Hey, got any perfume, man? I need a fix.

[Dawn cd]

Addiction as commonly understood implies destructive behavior. I don't believe dressing in clothes of the other gender is in any way destructive, although if it sucks up all of your time and energy it could be termed obsessive. For most of us, cross dressing is mildly compulsive. Let's not over-dramatize it.

[Kylie.K]

I remember the first time I dressed. I was 12 and had stumbled upon some lingerie my mother had stashed away. Beautiful purple satin with black lace garter belt, panties and bra. Also had fishnet stockings. I put all that on and was just in awe of how great I looked. Of course being 12 you know what it did to my just-entering-puberty body. So my first time dressing resulted in a great reward. From that time until I moved out on my own my times dressing were limited to sneaking into mom's closet and trying on some of her things. Once out on my own I was too poor to afford any clothes other than the necessities which were my guy clothes. It wasn't until after I was married that I could start buying some things. It started with panties and some lingerie. Then I got a cute jumper dress, blouse and a skirt from a garage sale. I kept those few things for several years and would dress up only a few times a year, with panties and lingerie being a normal part of my every day wardrobe.

Then about four years ago I got a maids uniform from LD Fashions. I have since retired it, I need to get a new one. That one was worn out!

So for me I don't think it's an addiction. The release of endorphins has passed, to some point. I don't get the awesome rush out of going shopping in a skirt, or going into a store and trying on dresses while in drab. That rush only happened the first couple of times. Now it's just something I enjoy. I like to shop. That's probably way more of an addiction than crossdressing. However, I still have a real feeling of calm when I am dressed up. I just feel more at peace. You would think wearing a skirt when shopping would get my nerves up, but it's kind of the opposite. I can really relax. I don't know why it gives me such peace, but it does. Even wearing panties under my guy clothes to work makes me much more calm. So I really wouldn't say I'm addicted. I guess the only way to find out is for me to purge all my stuff and stop dressing, never visit this site again and bury Kylie away somewhere never to be a part of me again. But I can tell you that's not going to happen! So I may never know for sure.

*Hugs*
-Kylie

[docrobbysherry]

Addressing an addiction to food or tobacco or drugs which are a chemical addiction which alters the blood chemstry is not the same as crossdressing for those who do not consider themselves transgender.-----------

Let's see that's a double negative, Kendra. So, tranlated it means, " --- a chemical addiction is the same as CDing for those who consider themselves TG." Rite?

The problem I have with that is; I definitely do NOT feel like I'm TG. However, that rush I get when I see Sherry is as close to hard drugs as I ever want to get!

OK. I'm changing my mind about the CDing being an addiction for some people. Come to think about it, I'll read a few posts from people and tell myself, "Naaaah." And then I'll read something else and think, "Yup, there are endorphins and dopamine at play here."

One thing I've learned in this forum ... there are no absolutes!

U posted this just in time, Reine! I was about to challenge your earlier post! GGs r so damed perceptive! It drives me nuts AND it's one of the things I just LOVE about u!

Addiction as commonly understood implies destructive behavior. I don't believe dressing in clothes of the other gender is in any way destructive, although if it sucks up all of your time and energy it could be termed obsessive. For most of us, cross dressing is mildly compulsive. Let's not over-dramatize it.

An obsessive, compulsive disorder, yes, Dawn. It doesn't make me put dressing above my family, but as u said, it DOES suck up A LOT of my time!

[AnitaH]

Like another poster I spent nearly 40 years believing My CD was an addiction. I actively suppressed it and spent some years in counseling over it. Went a couple of years several times without indulging, but it all of this nothing changed. The feminine screams to get out. I no longer treat it as an addiction but as a trans-gendered issue, it's an essential part of who or what I am. That takes it out of the addiction catagory.

AnitaH

[Dixie]

No way I'm I addicted. I can quit anytime I want and have, at least 8 times.

[rhonda]

Are we addicted yes we love it and can not stop family is important but don't change the fact we're hooked and love it

[Kittyagain]

Interesting though, people I talk to that have not quite smoking, do not see it as an addiction and always say things like, "I enjoy smoking too much to quite." or "It is my stress reliever."

The parallels seem to be there.

If I put on female clothes and it did not change me in some way that I see as positive, I would not dress. We are addicted to that change, not the clothes we put on it seems to me as one thought. But if we are born with this, then it is truly not an addiction.

Kitty

[Raychel]

Yes I am adicted, But I also can quit at any time, Sometime real fast if I here one of my sons walk in the house.

[LeaP]

I'd wear a potato sack and a paper bag over my head if it came down to it or losing my family. (What I wear only has to do with an outward portrayal of my gender...my gender itself comes from within). Your family are *usually* the only people in this world that love you unconditionally, and that's why it's so devastating to lose a parent or child. I'm sorry, but if anyone puts a manner of dress over something as important as that...I feel very sorry them, because they are not living. When looking back on your life, will you say that it was worth anything? A selfish person isn't missed and a selfish person does not offer anything to anyone but themselves.

I disagree when it is said that "so many posts take dressing over their family." I wouldn't stay here if that were the case, because I don't associate with people that are that low.

I can take arguments where people say "this is a part of me and it is important." It seems like everyone struggles with balance. But, we struggle with balance in EVERYTHING in life.

I agree thematically with the general sentiments (not to minimize what you're saying), but wonder at the reality. If I understand you correctly, you are saying that you would be willing to forego any outward expression of your gender, permanently, using clothes as the example, rather than lose your family, is that correct? Other questions: Does any objection to dressing, then, make the CD'er selfish ... or the objector? Do you really think it's possible to suppress gender expression completely? Could you, and what would be the consequences? Isn't there a difference between self-sacrifice out of necessity (no options, no possibility of choice) and martyr behavior? Must the positions be extreme - isn't there a difference, say, between fully presenting female and doing something lesser?

Lea

[drag n fly]

Not personal at all. I don't get excited or aroused.. Almost mundane.... Like something on my to-do list... "Take out the garbage, clean the garage, go to the hardware, go play ice hockey, dress up like a girl". Lol. Been that way for some time. Dressing in feminine clothing is "normal" feeling but so is dressing in male clothes... feels the same... Looks different.

Karren..your reasoning here seems elusive...If you feel no difference dressed as either a man or a woman; then why cross-dress? And on top of all this, you are very convincing. And attractive, I might add..You appear to relish being dressed en femme..I love your upbeat, humorous listings here..You make this all the more fun...Thanks smooches Jackie

[kendra_gurl]

Let's see that's a double negative, Kendra. So, tranlated it means, " --- a chemical addiction is the same as CDing for those who consider themselves TG." Rite?

The problem I have with that is; I definitely do NOT feel like I'm TG. However, that rush I get when I see Sherry is as close to hard drugs as I ever want to get!


!

What is double negative about it? I like you have never considered myself transgendered but do not consider those who are as having a chemical addiction to it. I disagree with your analogy.

For the purpose of this thread I am not tying to imply anything at all about anyone who considers themselve TG. The difference between CD's and TG's have been done many times oin other threads

Addictions commonly are considered a negative but they do not always have to be. Example is a Work addiction is not a bad thing untill it takes away from other things like family and loved ones.

Let take for example a male who only likes to underdress. He is willing to risk ridicule and possibly his employment if found out just to wear panties, garter belt and stockings under his normal work clothes. He is doing this purely for his own enjoyment as know one else knows. Underdressing is not something he HAS to do but rather something he enjoys to the point he takes great risk to do
Is that an addiction? Is it an obsessive behaivor? Are obsessive behaivors also addictions?

Another example.. A man with a wife who does not really accept yet he continues to wear panties to sleep in everynight. I read this all the time and think WHY?

He puts on panties and in 10 minutes he is asleep and no longer gets the feeling of them yet he is willing to make his wife very uncomfortable about his need to do it.

To me I think that is at the least a form of addiction.

[drag n fly]

No, we're not addicted. I'm a recovered alcoholic and I've gotten addicted to a couple of prescription drugs, even though I used them legally. When you stop dressing do you spend the entire next day with your head in the toilet puking your guts out? No. Do you get the shakes so bad you can't hold a cup of coffee? No. Do you spend an entire week with the cold sweats so bad that you feel like you just stepped out of of the shower? No. Do you lay awake night after night imagining that you are in hell and that demons are appearing next to your bed to torment you? No.

We use the term "addiction" much too lightly today. Real addiction is the closest thing there is to hell on earth. Crossdressing is just the opposite. It brings me happiness, not misery. Just because you like something so much that you do it all the time does not mean you're addicted to it. Do you eat food? Every day? Do you do this because you're addicted to food, or because food is necessary to maintain life?

For me, crossdressing is like food. It's necessary for me because it helps me maintain my happiness and my sanity.

CK

Cynthia...thanks for this post..You and I share many things in common...I, too, am a recovered Alcoholic...Seventeen years now...My crossdressing comes across more as a true need than an addiction....like eating, as you say...I just love being feminine and the feel of feminine soft, frilly clothes...Thanks Jackie