For years, I have imagined meeting an admirer all dressed up, chickened out many times, due to being wiser, or just fear. I went to meet a guy once, but, HE got cared, and stood me up. This admirer, i know where he works, if there is a big problem, and we are meeting on his lunch hour, so it won't be too long together. He is wild about my legs!
Good for you Louise, I really hope it goes well for you, hugs.
[SIZE="3"]Lots of love Gina X[/SIZE]
If you sit near the river for long enough eventually the bodies of your enemies will float by......Chinese Proverb
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are still missing !!
People who think they know everything, are especially annoying to those of us who do
Stay safe, and good luck!
Kathi
Damn Louise, good for you Hon but now I'm jealous.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Definitely stay safe... As a woman, I could never imagine doing what you are planning to do.
I hope all goes well, and it's all you had hoped it would be. I personally think admirers are very weird because they are objectifying and treating you as a means to a fetish. I don't like people that have amputee fetishes either, and it seems the along the same lines of objectification.
But, everyone has their thing and two consenting adults are two consenting adults.
However, as a woman, I cannot begin to wrap my head around it.
Things like, "We are meeting during his lunch hour, so it won't be too long together!" Don't get it. Never will. I like men to worship me in the bedroom. I certainly wouldn't be there just because he had a kink for tall girls with big feet, for example. It's kind of like, "Oh, you are attracted to me because I'm tall and have big feet? You want to screw me because of this weird fetish of yours' and then be done with it? Thanks? I feel so hot right now?"
I guess we do a lot of things for a sense of validation.
Last edited by Shananigans; 11-04-2011 at 01:57 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
I tend to agree with Shananigans. It's weird to give in to being somebody's object. But, who am I to judge? As long as you stay safe, and it's not illegal, do whatever makes your heart sing.
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 11-04-2011 at 05:30 PM. Reason: no need to quote the previous post
Congratulations Louise. Good luck and enjoy.
Make sure he treats you like a lady! You'll have fun, and enjoy the time together!
"And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"
Yes, I must be careful, but, I flip-flopped on him, leading him on a lot, then let him down. I have made it clear how much i will , aand won't do, but, it could be a disaster, or could go well. I have to take some responsibility, if it goes bad, or good.
When you meet with him, do not talk too much. Let the conversation flow as best possible, listen, participate and let him talk more. Remember to ask a lot about him, things he likes, his job, hobbies, things that he likes to talk about. Make him feel important. Good luck again.
Enjoy but be careful, Louise. Don't allow him to break your heart!
If you're in this for romance, be prepared to discover that his motives may be different. They may not be, but just be careful.
Reine
I have NO preconceived ideas about this or suggestions for u, Tree Top! But, I hope it all works out well and that you'll post the results of your meeting for us!
Last edited by docrobbysherry; 11-04-2011 at 08:31 PM.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
About the biggest issue, for me, is my male voice, and huge hands, and where to draw the line, if he wants to do more than i am willing. I will keep you informed as to how it goes.
Have fun Louise. I think most of the messages have been a bit condescending. Grown-ups have sex! You're not a teenybopper and you have the right to do whatever you damn well please. ;-)
Remember this is the same crowd that insisted I had the same HIV risk as a drug using tranny prostitute. ...and I've only had sex with ONE guy in over a year.
This is a pretty timid bunch regarding adult sexuality so brace yourself.
"and I've only had sex with ONE guy in over a year."
Oh you SL*T!
Hello Louise,
Enjoy the fluttery feeling in your tummy and go out and enjoy yourself. Do return with some details though. LOL -
There is also the danger of meeting someone you have never met in person before, in a private space alone (which I am really surprised no one mentioned.)
I know a GG who did this years ago and was raped.
I'd meet them in public first and get to know them first; I'd never meet someone in private the first time, much less meet in private the first time and do anything that involves any bodily fluids with them. It isn't a personal judgment whether it is right or wrong, it just is what it is. This is a very risky idea, but if you insist on it, be very careful and practice the same precautions a GG would.
Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 11-05-2011 at 04:02 AM.
The way I always figured it when I got together with someone is that as a woman, the ball is in my court. Not to mention I always have a wicked left hook waiting in the wings to utilize if necessary.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
My thoughts exactly...Originally Posted by Kathi Lake
Do you read? Do you watch the news?
For reading on HIV risks for TG and the lack of care for this group, read WPATH's Publications. Here's one article: http://www.wpath.org/journal/www.iia...n/kammerer.htm
Here are 10 more: http://www.wpath.org/journal/www.iia...on/index-2.htm
Some of these studies look at low SES as a factor that further aggravates risks, but it has been further shown that TS women may have problems in salary compensation and job offers. If you aren't in the highest risk groups and are protecting yourself, pat yourself on the back. However, politically-minded people that read and turn on the news have big problems with groups that NEED health care and are being denied based on gender factors. Excuse yourself right out of seeking health care justice for marginalized groups if it doesn't interest you.
Also, I encourage you to read the news on violence towards the TG population, and GGs. This is why meeting people that you are kind of unsure about needs to be done safely. Any woman meeting up with someone that she doesn't know well for whatever intentions needs to be looking out for number 1 (herself).
It may be "timid," but I say it's damn right stupid if you aren't careful.
Last edited by Shananigans; 11-05-2011 at 02:08 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Shan, are you kidding? I see my doctor every month (transitioning ya know) and when I told him that there was a group of people who were insisting that I was as high risk as a drug using, street walking, tranny prostitute he said, and I quote "why would they say that?" I said, because I'm a pre-op tranny, and he said "that's ridiculous, you have to have sex in order to get HIV", and then he laughed because he's always telling me I need to date more, (another story).
Your position on my risk factor is extremely odd considering you know so little about my sex life. I read the studies you and the other one posted and NONE of them had anything to do with me. But whatever. You're free to think what you want, I just think it's a little weird that you and the others aren't jumping all over poor Louise's risk factor like you guys did me and I never even said I was going out to meet someone.?
In regard to political mindedness, don't forget that I am an OUT transsexual in transition, and at this stage in the game, I'm not even able to hide anymore. I don't pass as a woman and I've told everyone that I'm in transition, so my politics are right there where everyone can see. I also donated a couple of hundred bucks to the Lyon-Martin center (wish I could have given more) last summer when they were almost forced to close down. Lyon-Martin by the way is a free/donation clinic in SF that serves women and TS women only.
I have no idea why you are taking such a nasty position against me, but I can tell you that I don't appreciate it.
It is interesting how we all tend to interpret someone's post based on whatever we are thinking in our mind, maybe just at the moment of posting or based on previous opinions. Louise is an adult, has been on this site for a long time and has probably read many times before about what precautions one should take when going out with someone, especially a male when we are MtF. Melissa did not say that Louise should not take precautions and be safe because of who her admirer (tranny chaser maybe) is and may be bringing along with himself in the way of STD's. I am not complaining about others providing their input to have fun and be "careful" because that is a natural thing to say and because I say that myself sometimes. So Shanan, I always like your posts, but this one appears to me to be one that would definitely get a good rise out of Melissa, and in my opinion was probably not needed by Louise nor Melissa, to a few ignorant, innocent or naive others, maybe yes. Melissa, as well as the vast majority here, is well aware of the risks involved and was not in any way ignoring those risks in her statement. It also appears that Louise was posting to celebrate a potential accomplishment, going out with a guy on a date, and not really asking for help on what to do.
I don't care about YOUR PERSONAL SEX LIFE. It's completely irrelevant to what I have said. That's again, why I ask if you read. I figure Louise knows what people mean by "be safe." Also, I have never jumped on you and your sex life...please know I DON'T CARE what you do and with whom you have sexual relations. You took one post of mine to be a personal attack at you, I guess, and I can assure you that I did not even know that you even Existed in this world. When I saw the thread you had started regarding my post, I tried to clarify your wrong interpretations of things and explain the importance of the research for health care in marginalized groups. But, it was like bashing my head against the wall, because you continue to harp on what you do and don't do in bed. Again, I DON'T CARE. I never was talking about YOU, I was talking about a marginalized group of people that are not getting the health care services that they need. This happens to be TS. It puts this group at a high risk. If you are safe, can afford your care, and are happy with it...ignore what I'm saying. If you care about other people that may not be in as good of a situation, read a bit more about what I'm saying. But, don't make it about you. It's much bigger than just being about you and the people that you know. I know it's a little shocking to think about all the people in the world that may not be having such an easy time...but, they exist.
Again, it's not about YOU. I don't have any position for or against you because I just don't care. You political-mindedness is also focused on yourself and so I can only further bash my head against the wall.
No one is trying to jump down Louise's throat, because it's not necessary. I'm sure she knows perfectly well what we all mean by "safe"...I meant it as a very broad term...and for her to protect herself in many ways (sexually and physically).
This is why I said I couldn't imagine doing what she was doing as a woman. As a woman, I realize that I am at higher risk for getting STDs and that I am at a higher risk for being a victim of violence. Does this mean I think all women are huge ****s and victims? NO! Good grief. It just means I know I need to be a little cautious.
If you know nothing about this person's sexual health history, you need to protect yourself in the very obvious ways. But, you also have to worry about what kind of person this is. I hate reading the news about violence towards TS. It seems like violence usually occurs when one party isn't aware that the other person may be a TS, and this does not appear to be Louise's case.
So, again, stop taking everything personally. I am a very caring person and I generally just want people to be educated and to protect themselves. If you don't like what I have to say, don't listen to me. SIMPLE! I don't know why you took my post to be a personal attack to the point you are talking to your health care provider about this supposed personal attack on you. I'm sorry and I apologize a million times that you took it this way. But, seriously....this was like...a month ago? You're still sore about it? Instead of bringing it up on an unrelated thread, you could just PM me. And, that's what I encourage you to do if you are still confused on this subject and my intentions.
EDIT: To AllieSF, I completely agree with you. The mess that BadTranny is referring to is a month old thread. And, the literature I provided was in reference to the old thread she brought up. It has nothing to do with Louise, except that she should know her risks. I'm sure she does and I'm sure she's being safe. That's really all I have to say further about all of this.
Louise, you're a big girl and you are a lovely person from what I have read. I hope you have a great time on your date...you know what we mean by "be safe." I say this because it's the same thing I tell my girlfriends when they go on a date with someone NO MATTER WHO IT IS. My girlfriend may roll their eyes and tell me, "Okay, I will!" But, they know I care.
Last edited by Shananigans; 11-05-2011 at 03:49 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Louise needs to be VERY VERY careful.
I recently read an article about several crossdressers that had been found murdered over the course of a few months in one city.
Take it seriously, play it safe. Meet in public first and get a feel for this person. Don't take chances, it's just not worth it!
Last edited by Dana7; 11-11-2011 at 01:46 AM.
Louise Have a great time sounds like a nice save way to meet him. you do have to give us the details after your nice meeting
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