"I went out enfemme and had a really horrible time!!"

[Karren H]

Anyone else notice the number of "I went out enfemme and had a great time" posts lately? Well I have and maybe its just me but all this happiness is frankly kind of annoying! Lol. I know that not all trips out are uber wonderful and probably everyone likes to post the good ones because they are well... Fun... But let's get a dose of reality and talk about the ones where we didn't have fun... The ones where everything went drastically wrong.... The ones that sucked so bad that you would have rather been bowling with the guys instead of going out enfemme?

Come on!! Fess up!

[Johnnifer]

I have had a few wonderful times enfemme, and a few horrible times.

The horrible times were usually at gay clubs when not on a drag night and I end up shunned and at times mocked.

Also at halloween a few years ago when I went to Provincetown Mass and alot of other girls were dressed far better than me and I sat on the sidelines feeling like the ugly girl out. Even though I was dressed as I felt I wanted to be.

[windycissy]

Good topic: of course if most of the experiences were awful, we wouldn't keep going out. The bad moments may be rare, but nobody goes four-for-four in the All Star Game. My all time worst experience was when a woman sicced a hotel security guard on me after she read me in the ladies room, makes me cringe everytime I think about it.

[docrobbysherry]

I couple of years ago, I drove to a tiny local park to take some Sherry pics. It was the middle of a week day. So, I thot I would be alone. But, dog walkers and others kept coming by. I never left the car and finally drove off. I was dressed completely as Sherry! So people would see a woman driving by.

On the way home on local side streets, a police car pulled in rite behind me. I realized then that not only was a masked guy disguised as a woman, but I had NO ID with me! They turned off after a few blocks. But, that experience scared the holy crap out of me! And, I have no desire to go out like that again!

Of course, since then I've developed a tougher skin at the SCCs and DLV. Even having to stop and pump gas dressed like a semi nude hooker in the middle of the Vegas Strip! And, instead of worrying about how I looked, felt quite relieved I didn't run out of gas!

[Nikki A.]

Not really a bad times, but I've been out and just didn't enjoy the crowd that was at the club.

[DanaR]

I've been trying to forget the bad times and now Karren wants to hear about them.

[kimdl93]

So far, I can't think of a bad outing. But maybe I just have a low standard of "great".

[Karren H]

I've been trying to forget the bad times and now Karren wants to hear about them.

Lol. I think hearing the bad events that people have survived makes you feel better about the good even the mediocre ones we have? and its something different...

[Tara D. Rose]

Well, about last August, I spent several hours getting ready, I was going to take a ride right about sunset, to ride to the to a local shopping center and just walk outside just to feel free, you know, the baby steps. My wife went outside to see if the coast was clear for me and it was. She said be safe. I got about 6 miles from home, it was full night time and all of a sudden, the biggest thunder storm rolled in. I could hardly see to drive. 20 minutes go by, and I just sort of aborted the mission. I felt downright depressed. I had to wait in the driveway when I got home for the storm to subside. It was a real bummer.
L&R.Tara

[Sarah Doepner]

Good question Karren. Yep it's happened to me. Most of the bad experiences can eventually be recast as pretty darn funny once they are in the rear-view mirror. However that's not always the case. Sometimes the experience will stay bad and you just have to learn something about yourself you probably didn't want to know.

Here is mine; I was out with a bunch of other CD's and the evening was going along swimmingly until a few of us got separated from the main group. As we looked for them we started attracting attention and since it was at a Las Vegas casino, there were young drunk males who were pointing, following and loudly asking "What the F#%* is going on with all the guys in dresses?" (Couldn't have been me, I was in a nice skirt with a sweater.) Now I don't pass, but I can pass by if I'm not in a spotlight. However I was with someone who passed even less well than me and to my great shame I split off as well to try and regain some anonymity. I found the nearest exit and went back to my room and the self lothing was terrible, I couldn't find anything right about what I had done the whole evening. The next day I had to find and apologize to the girl I'd abandoned and she was surprised that I'd even considered it an issue. She knew she didn't pass, accepted the consequences willingly and was much more gracious than I.

I learned a lot about myself that day and I'm still not proud of what I did. I allowed myself to fall into the "fight or flight" mindset, rather than find a way to deal with the problem.

[Veronica Lodge]

During a dinner with friends at a restaurant I had my purse stolen off the back of my chair.
That was the worst.. It wouldn't have taken long for the thief to figure out it wasn't a typical ladies purse. It made my skin crawl knowing that some creep-o had all my stuff.

I had to get the super to let me into my apartment which was an unfortunate disaster in itself. The old wallet in the back pocket seemed pretty good after that.

[Karren H]

I have had a few wonderful times enfemme, and a few horrible times.

The horrible times were usually at gay clubs when not on a drag night and I end up shunned and at times mocked.

Also at halloween a few years ago when I went to Provincetown Mass and alot of other girls were dressed far better than me and I sat on the sidelines feeling like the ugly girl out. Even though I was dressed as I felt I wanted to be.

That's why I don't like going to clubs or gay bars....

Good topic: of course if most of the experiences were awful, we wouldn't keep going out. The bad moments may be rare, but nobody goes four-for-four in the All Star Game. My all time worst experience was when a woman sicced a hotel security guard on me after she read me in the ladies room, makes me cringe everytime I think about it.

I had that happen... Hotel security guard followed me and asked "can I help you". Ahhh. NO!! Lol. Had my room key in my hand....

[DanaR]

Lol. I think hearing the bad events that people have survived makes you feel better about the good even the mediocre ones we have? and its something different...

You're right, and it adds to the saying "we're all part of the entertainment".

[Karren H]

I couple of years ago, I drove to a tiny local park to take some Sherry pics. It was the middle of a week day. So, I thot I would be alone. But, dog walkers and others kept coming by. I never left the car and finally drove off. I was dressed completely as Sherry! So people would see a woman driving by.

On the way home on local side streets, a police car pulled in rite behind me. I realized then that not only was a masked guy disguised as a woman, but I had NO ID with me! They turned off after a few blocks. But, that experience scared the holy crap out of me! And, I have no desire to go out like that again!
!

Yeah.... Don't think the police would understand the mask...

[SometimesDiana]

I haven't had any terrible situations but I do get a lot of pesky stalkers at bars or clubs. That's why I never go out alone. When I'm uncomfortable with someone, I'll politely excuse myself, grab my girlfriend and walk to the other side of the establishment. That works fine almost every time... recently, my girlfriend knocked a tall man to the ground when he made an inappropriate advance on me.

[Melinda]

Last summer I received some free tickets to a baseball game. My spouse was out of town so I posted an invite in the local CD/TG Meetup group to see if anyone wanted to dress up and join me for the game. I didn't get a single taker. That was a bummer but I decided to power on ahead, got all dressed up and headed down to the game. A 30 min drive later I realized I left the tickets at home. After another 30 min back home I grabbed the envelope with the tickets and drove back to the stadium. Of course it was now the 4th inning. Upon arrival I realized I had the wrong envelope, still no tickets! At that point I gave up and just grabbed some dinner. If I had a blonde wig it might have been understandable...

[DonnaT]

On my 50th birthday, June 2005, we were in Vegas, and my wife OKed going to La Cage Aux Folles enfemme, as a present. A big step for my wife, as she'd only been out with me once before, to a transgender holiday party.

While getting ready, my wife decided she couldn't watch me apply my makeup, and said she'd wait in the car. We were staying at Mandalay Bay. So I had to walk from the hotel, through the casino, and through a shopping plaza to the garage, alone.

In the elevator, some clowns get on and one trying to be funny tries to climb the wall in one corner, after noticing me already on, and trying to get away. I just ignored the group.

Walking to the car, my right ankle started to hurt. It was already weak from a bad sprain the year before, and the heels didn't help. That ankle still gives me trouble even more so since my stroke in 2007. By the time I got to the garage, I forgot which level the car was on, and had to search for it.

My wife was upset because I was taking so long. She got even more upset when saw I was wearing new fem glasses.

Walking from the parking lot at the hotel where the show was, my ankle got worse, and I was limping in quite bad pain. My wife became even more upset, loudly, thinking we'd be late. I ended up taking the heels off to get to the show.

She wouldn't even sit with me at the show.

Headed out after the show, we had planned on stopping at the Hard Rock for dinner, but my daughter called and said she was in town to surprise me. We then had to go back to the hotel instead, so I could change and get to her hotel for dinner.

[Kathi Lake]

Oops! Silly me! You mean I forgot to post the time where I was chased out of Dillard's by overweight, pitchfork-carrying, mouth-breathing villagers? And then I was accosted by random street-punks who mercilessly taunted me? Hmm. Wow. How could I forget to post that?

Oh yeah - because it didn't happen.

Now to be sure, I do tend to forget or even gloss over the not-so-good reactions that I get. Not every interaction I have with people is positive, uplifting, and world-changing. I have had one flat tire, one speeding ticket (note to self: do NOT go shopping on the way to the airport!), plenty of pointing fingers, a few instances of "Holy ****! Look at that!" but for the most part, my experiences have been good. How much of that is due to my attitude vs. how much I really miss by not caring I don't know. To me, any experience is a good one. On the great trips, I learn new things, have a lot of fun, and get pretty stuff. On the bad trips, I just learn new things and have a lot of fun.



Kathi

[Lorileah]

There was this one time, I was sitting at the club, everyone seemed to be having a good time all I could think was I need to clean the gutters. I mean really, if it snowed? I just couldn't get my mind out of the gutters

[Jilmac]

Karren, You're such a scamp (or is it scampette) for even suggesting we 'fess up to bad experiences. But truth be told, I've had so many bad experiences, en femme and en drab, that I could write a book. They say everybody has a guardian angel, well not quite. Mine is a guardian devil and his name is Murphy. That's right, the same Murphy who enacted Murphy's law, and he makes sure that when I have a bad day, it's a doozy. But I get even with Murphy because I have a back up plan for anything that can go wrong, a sucker punch to the groin.

All I'll say about my bad experiences is, walk a mile in my pumps and you'll end up with bunions.

[Karren H]

Well, about last August, I spent several hours getting ready, I was going to take a ride right about sunset, to ride to the to a local shopping center and just walk outside just to feel free, you know, the baby steps. My wife went outside to see if the coast was clear for me and it was. She said be safe. I got about 6 miles from home, it was full night time and all of a sudden, the biggest thunder storm rolled in. I could hardly see to drive. 20 minutes go by, and I just sort of aborted the mission. I felt downright depressed. I had to wait in the driveway when I got home for the storm to subside. It was a real bummer.
L&R.Tara

Mother nature doesn't have a sense of humor? Lol.

Here is mine; I was out with a bunch of other CD's and the evening was going along swimmingly until a few of us got separated from the main group. As we looked for them we started attracting attention and since it was at a Las Vegas casino, there were young drunk males who were pointing, following and loudly asking "What the F#%* is going on with all the guys in dresses?" (Couldn't have been me, I was in a nice skirt with a sweater.) Now I don't pass, but I can pass by if I'm not in a spotlight. However I was with someone who passed even less well than me and to my great shame I split off as well to try and regain some anonymity. I found the nearest exit and went back to my room and the self lothing was terrible, I couldn't find anything right about what I had done the whole evening. The next day I had to find and apologize to the girl I'd abandoned and she was surprised that I'd even considered it an issue. She knew she didn't pass, accepted the consequences willingly and was much more gracious than I.

I learned a lot about myself that day and I'm still not proud of what I did. I allowed myself to fall into the "fight or flight" mindset, rather than find a way to deal with the problem.

Have an online cd friend who lived in London... Met up with a gang of thugs one night. She woke up unconscious in the hospital with a broken tooth, no purse, no money, and one shoe and after being discharged had to walk home bare footed in a torn dress during the day... So sometime we have to pick our fights carefully.

[kristinacd55]

Well, on Sunday we had a GREAT outing!! Of course, before the other girls arrived at the mall to meet my friend Jenn and I we really had to pee. We didn't want to go in the mall so we did what 2 big strappin guy's would do (NOT big or strappin btw). We relieved ourselves behind a dumpster! So after we finished our duties, we're getting back in the car and around the corner comes the security guard in an suv watching us. Whew.....just in the nick of time did we escape and our friends showed up shortly thereafter. So almost an interesting "arresting" time.

[Paula_56]

I went to an Outback the on of my first times out, actually the first time dinniig, and the hostess read me right off and kept making snide comments, now it wouldn't botherme much, Id' just move on but then it hurt

[kendra_gurl]

I remember this one time At Band Camp...... no wait it was at one of the local casinos my wife and I enjoy donating too.

I was playing one of my favorite slots as usual enfemme having no problems with anyone at all. There was a rather large black woman 3 machines down from me who was talking to another black woman a few machines on down from her. After about 20 minutes I noticed she was gone so I moved to start playing that machine as it was also one I enjoy playing

About 5 minutes later she comes up to me and says I was playing that machine and my sister was holding it for me. I politely told her in my best soft fem voice there is no one around here and there was no money left in the machine so I started playing it.

Well yes there was money in that machine and my sister was saving it for me while I went to get a drink and you can't take my machine like that and........I interupted her with my normal loud male voice and said Ma'am this machine was empty when I sat down but if its so important to you to play it I'll cash out and move. Her eyes widened, her mouth dropped open as she gasped then said no no no I guess I can't whip no MAN and turned and left in a hurry.

I sat there a few moments to collect my thoughts and think about what to do if she was running off to get security or someone else. I've had conversations with security and casino staff before (they are always very polite) and thought to myself I'm not doing anything wrong so screw her. After what had to be only 4 or 5 minutes from when she first approached me I hit the repeat bet button on the machine and won $96 on a 60 cent bet.

I cashed out my ticket, found my wife and told her all about it as we both had a good laugh.

[Closettran]

One time when I was in my twenties, my wife was away and I decided to dress in her clothes and go for a walk at night. She was more petite then (pre kids) and her clothes fitted me OK. I remember I borrowed a rather nice black corduroy skirt with a little split in the back, which I teamed with some lovely pale mauve stockings (sigh).

Anyways, I had borrowed a her black strappy sandals and just decided to stroll up and down the street for a while. All was going well when I slipped, turned over my ankle and the strain on the shoe ripped one of the straps away from the sole. Disaster! I limped back and began to think about what on earth I could say.

The best I could come up with the next morning after a sleepless night was that somehow I'd trodden on the shoes lying around the house and had torn the strap. A raised eyebrow told me she wasn't completely convinced, but nothing more was said.

J xx