Anger Management

[Kaz]

I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters...

OK... sometimes... just sometimes...?

I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters... I must not abuse fellow posters...

Yeah... good point!

Lines work!

Anything else work for you? How do you cope with feeling angry about posts and dealing with the 'do I respond or not' emotion and the equally important... 'hit the 'new posts' thread, in the hope that there is something more cheery on offer?'?

[Karren H]

I don't get angry... I get even! Lol.

[Kaz]

?????

[Marleena]

Kaz, if something (a thread) bothers me I avoid it like the plague. It is difficult at times, I know exactly what you're saying.

[AllieSF]

I try to ignore it long enough until I can't stand it anymore and then I look for a good opening for me to enter and try not to sound like I am on a bandwagon from hell and out to attack the idiots who are taking a good thread into the combat zone for no other reason than to argue their non-applicable point of view. Sometimes I even type up a reply and then re-read it and delete it thinking that it is not worth the effort, nor do I want to lower myself to some else's low level. And even after all that restraint, sometimes I catch myself jumping into the fray and then be totally wrong in my mistaken point of view. A thick skin really does help.

[LilSissyStevie]

Just remember that when you turn off the computer we all just disappear into the aether. My rule is don't take yourself too seriously and don't take anyone else as seriously as you take yourself. I don't always follow my rule but I don't take that too seriously either.

[Jilmac]

Seems passive agressive to me.

I don't get angry... I get even! Lol.

[Kaz]

Sounds like a CD freedom fighter?

[Jennifer H]

Hey Kaz a bit of abuse never hurt anyone (except me!!) Let it all out girl you will feel better for it.

xxx Jenny

[Kathi Lake]

I guess it depends on how receptive I think the OP is. If I'm just whining and moaning about their attitudes, and they're a simple troll, I know they're enjoying it and I just move along. If, however, I think I can help by adding my two cents, then I do - but hopefully in the spirit of "Let's look at it this way" rather than "You $^(*^$# moron!!"



Kathi

[Niya W]

Normally I ignore it. if it gets bad I have a cup of kava. But once or twice I've had mod tell what I did was uncalled for . I can be a cold ruthless bitch if you go after a friend or piss me off.

[Elizabeth Ann]

Just remember that when you turn off the computer we all just disappear into the aether. My rule is don't take yourself too seriously and don't take anyone else as seriously as you take yourself. I don't always follow my rule but I don't take that too seriously either.

I like Stevie's answer. As for myself, three points:

1. I believe that most individuals are sincere and want to do the right thing. If I feel that they are unjustified or irrational, I remind myself that they probably feel the same thing. A little reaching out ("I'm trying to understand . . ." or "That's an interesting point, but from my perspective . . . ") can sometimes have big results and calm the waters.

2. Very soon, the offending post will be on page 2, and then on page 3, and then forgotten. In the grand scheme of things, or even in the small goings on of this forum, none of this matters very much.

3. This is a bit embarrassing, and I know doesn't reflect well on me. I have a very high opinion of my own intellectual abilities and my positions on many matters. I do enjoy contributing to reasonable and informed debate that gives me new information or understanding, but to be honest, it is a selfish objective of what I can get out of the discussion. If there are those I cannot convince, especially if they are rude and hostile, I simply don't care enough about their opinion to get worked up about it.

Liz

[Dixie]

My grandmother always said that "If you can't say anything nice about someone then don't say anything at all." I really try to follow her advice though I'm not always successful. This forum is for support not rearing each other down and I try to remember that weather I agree with something or not.

[larry]

I just tell myself "These people are strange" unlike me---hehehe
I find it interesting how many people have all the right answers for others..
I just go the the pic thread and get really mad at all those that are so darn pretty..

[April_Ligeia]

Remember the old saying, 'The longer a wise person argues with a fool, the harder it is to tell which is which.' I don't always follow my own advise either, but I try.

[MsJanessa]

I learned years ago not to take anything people say here or anywhere else on line seriously---as delightful as some of the people are here, I'm unlikely to meet many of them (although there have been a few) and every body is entitled to their own opinion--

when I first started here I got involved in a "flame war" with another poster who has long since left this site---I spent a lot of energy going back and fourth over nothing---finally he got so mad he threatened to come kick my a$$--I wrote him a private message asking him if he was threatening me and never saw him on the site again---up to that time he was a regular---

my point is that it's not worth the energy getting angry at what people say here because this is the only place you will have to deal with their crap and if you don't like them or what they are saying you can simply not go to their posts. Problem solved

[donnalee]

I will write a post burning with logical venom, edit it until it perfectly represents my thoughts, and then delete it, as the stupid idjet doesn't deserve the benefit of my wisdom.

[kellycan27]

I love a good fight lol

[sometimes_miss]

I try to ignore it long enough until I can't stand it anymore and then I look for a good opening for me to enter and try not to sound like I am on a bandwagon from hell and out to attack the idiots who are taking a good thread into the combat zone for no other reason than to argue their non-applicable point of view. Sometimes I even type up a reply and then re-read it and delete it thinking that it is not worth the effort, nor do I want to lower myself to some else's low level. And even after all that restraint, sometimes I catch myself jumping into the fray and then be totally wrong in my mistaken point of view. A thick skin really does help.

Wow. Perfectly said. And my additional problem is, I often come off as more irritating than I want to be (wait, that would imply that I sometimes want to be irritating, and I never want that!). It's sometimes hard to be, well, tactful.

[eluuzion]

Hiya Kaz,

“Whenever things look bad, I just remember I have a really big d**k, and things always seem much better.”

On any issue I initial check myself to assure I am interpreting things in the proper perspective.

This is the Internet. “Where women are men and 12 year old kids are FBI agents” lol. The Internet is a Disneyland arena where people can “be” whoever they dream of being and “be” whatever their fantasies can imagine. It is a place where everyone can “test” out a new personality or fantasy lifestyle in a “virtual real world” environment without suffering any of the consequences present in the face-to-face real world. So the “source” of any comment or point is questionable from the start, unless “verified” to the point of being assumed credible. (Which seems to be a rare case, particularly on non-technical forums).

“Social/support” forums seem to favor logical fallacy over logic, opinion over documented fact, fantasy over reality, embellishment over actuality, ego competition over relevance, self-promotion over active listening, discounting over understanding, finger pointing over offering a hand, digression over topic exploration. A popular debate “strategy” is to discredit a poster with pedantic triviality attacks, while ridiculing the posting of support documentation (links, etc.) as being unnecessary anal retentive behavior.

This reduces many attempts at having a constructive discussion down to this:
“Arguing on the Internet is like playing Marco Polo with Helen Keller”.

While this is certainly not true in every case, it is enough to view my primary expectation for internet forums being human behavioral entertainment value, with an occasional opportunity to expand my knowledge when some interesting and thought provoking topics are presented and/or discussed with some interesting/intelligent people with their cognitive processes grounded by reality.

I rarely if ever, feel the need to “defend myself” or “attack others“. In my opinion, most of those opportunities are nonsensical to the point of being impossible for me to take “seriously”. Oh, and I never interrupt any “adversary” when they are in the process of hanging themselves. (This is often the case in such circumstances, lol).

Just my perspective…

[suzy1]

Kaz! You have aimed this at me, right?

I can’t stop myself going into attack mode. A very bad trait that I have to work on.

But something good comes out of most things. I have made it a point of going back to some of the members I attacked and apologised.
Without exception the members have not only accepted my apology but have been really nice about it.
The more time I spend on this site the more convinced I am that our lifestyle makes us nicer people.

One day it will make me a bit nicer too.

SUZY

[gabimartini]

Some "negative" energy is good, Kaz. Anger, fear, frustration. They make us feel alive, they show that we care, they make us take a step back and think... about how to better seek revenge! lol

Take it easy, sis. Have a cuppa.

[noeleena]

Hi,

So would i see this in the forums like in real life.

or just venting out loud here in the forums . i may walk around the combat zone because i can see if some one is down ,

so with the red cross on my arm i go in to get the fallen out part of who i am. so i keep out of the battle & its very hard not to think about what may be said & being impartial allows me access to others with out a fighting attitude . so i can help in the background,

Its hard being a peace keeper tho its worth it , at least my new friends can stay alive,

& the other side , a lot of hot air, & may be a good laugh,

...noeleena...

[Cynthia Anne]

Very well said! I thhink this is a great place to practice anger management! I've had enough 'hurt' from my family to last two life times! This family I shall not abuse! Hugs!

[cassandra54]

i agree. a lot of it is the same stuff. the only thing different is that people are relating their experiences with the same thing in a new way. maybe they've never had that experience before, but then again they could respond to a similar thread. a lot of posters on here, don't know how to spell or construct a sentence and that's really painful for some of us who take great pride in having a command of the english language.

so to get this straight.
1. yes i believe that i am androgynous and TG
2. my SO knows and approves.
3. i dress whenever i can.
4. i've been out in public-four times now. i haven't had any experiences and really enjoyed it.
5. i don't have problems buying clothes while en drab.
6. i know what sizes fit me.
7. i wear size 10 women's shoes and don't have to worry about finding size 15 red stiletto heel.
8. i still have problems with makeup, but it's a learning curve.
9. i would love to come out to friends if i had any and won't to my family simply because i am not close to them and don't trust them.
10. i am not interested or ever considered SRS or hormones. although if they did have SRS that would biologically make me a woman, i might
consider it.
11. i don't get turned on by men or other CD's while dressed. i am bi and in an open relationship and very selective about who i might date.
in fact i've given up on finding guys to date because most of them interested in TGs or CDs are pigs or freaks, and women, well who knows where i
might find a woman interested in me. the real me. in the meantime i have a nice live.
12, i don't have problems with body hair. i simply shave and keep up with it.
13. i try to dress like any other woman would. finding a style and taste in clothes is acquired.
14. i think this forum is awesome, i've learned a lot and shared information and experiences.
15. and lastly, like i said i have a nice life. i am well adjusted, not embarrassed, in touch with my talents and abilities, have a good job, live in a nice home and have most of the things we strive for in life.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? GOOD, SO LET'S MOVE ON.

let's see, the last two weeks at work have been really hard. i've worked a lot of hours, it's been extremely stressful. it's been a great experience overall, because i've dealt with the stress and frustration very well and really honed my technical and troubleshooting skills. a personal best for me. i cannot wait to come home and have the time to be cassandra and being her is just one of the many self realization/actualization type tings that have really allowed me to excel over the last five years. the weather is changing out here in Arizona, so makeup is easier and it's just more comfortable to be cassandra.

that's all for now ladies.