My heart goes out to you.
My heart goes out to you.
Girl, you crack me up I have not laughed so much in ages...thanks for putting a smile back on my face...the situations we get ourselves in...!!!....at least you are able to dig yourself out of your nightmares..!!Originally Posted by jillleanne
Thanks for a great post
Hugs
Jess xx
Dear OP
Dude - we ALL KNOW that you have entered the Adam Sandler JACK AND JILL contest
to hopefully win a trip to Hollywood for your family - duh ....
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810913/
So that's your excuse when the s**t hits the fan.
Yup, there we go! "Yeah, my deaf sister was visiting from out of town".
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I know your pain. The worst feeling in the world is the sound of a car pulling up, headlights in the driveway or a knock on the door. Your heart feels like it wants to jump right out of your chest. I wish there was a real solution to privacy.
Look at the up side. If the neighbor you think saw you en femme, then he has spread the word that you're two timing your wife. At least your cross dressing activities are still in the closet.
These types of issues are always interesting to me, because it illustrates one of the basic sources of conflict in many relationships that partners are often not aware of. I could not resist this opportunity to point out an interesting issue about personality types. I decided to toss it out here in case somebody might think it is interesting. I’m not trying to beat something to death to prove some point…there isn’t one,. If it seems irrelevant or boring…feel free to skip reading on…
There are two personality (behavioral) “types”. Proactive and Reactive.
An extremely simplified explanation of the differences:
Reactive Personalities
Basically place responsibility for what happens to them elsewhere. They wait for something to happen, and then they “react” (respond) to it. It is a strategy based upon the perception that what happens to you is out of your control. For example…somebody may hit me with a bat and break my leg. What matters is who is at blame for causing my injury and what they should do or might do next about it, which I will have to deal with. In other words my injured leg is not really “my problem”. So, I believe I am never really in control of my life. My life is a constant process of reacting to people and events that happen to me.
Reactive personalities often focus on assigning blame, which increases the potential for using this as an excuse for not being successful in achieving their goals.
“If this did not happen, if they did not do this or that, if this would have or would not have happened, if I did not have to deal with this or that, …I would have been able to do…this or that.”
Proactive Personalities
assume responsibility for everything that happens to them, regardless of the person or event that caused them to be in a particular situation. For example…somebody may hit me with a bat and break my leg. It does not really matter who it was. What matters is accepting the fact that I have to deal with a broken leg from that point and decide what to do next with my condition. By taking responsibility for my condition I am taking control over my life. It puts me in control of my own life.
Proactive strategies are constantly focused on finding available opportunities that can be utilized to improve their chances for success and advance their position toward a goal(s). It is a “predictive” orientation with a basic perception that you are in charge of controlling what happens to you in life.
“I can not control what happens to me in life, but I can decide how I will react to it”.
This is a great saying and a healthy approach for both personalities. But it applies differently to each personality. A reactive personality takes it at face value and acts accordingly. A proactive personality would have tried to predict the negative outcomes in advance and taken measures to lessen the potential for negative outcomes, as well as dealing with any negative outcome that may have already occurred by trying to find ways to avoid the negative outcome in the future.
I am proactive. My ex was reactive. I wanted to put up a child gate to keep our young toddler from falling down the stairs, so she could explore freely. My ex saw no reason for the gate, because our toddler had not fallen down the stairs yet. Her technique was to just keep yelling “NO” every time our daughter started to explore the open stairway. Our whole relationship was like that every day. Yes, we are divorced…
Applying the previous explanations to this thread topic…
I am a proactive personality. So my first thought is that I secured my house to the point where the potential for that type of event to occur is minimal or impossible. At a minimum I would have an “emergency” plan in place ahead of time so if/when it occurs, I know exactly how to counter it. (Like running into the shower, etc). If it was an event I had not prepared for, I would be focusing on how to make sure it never happened that way again.
My intention here is not to minimize your heart stopping experience, or criticize any manner in which you or anybody else deals with such events. I have similar experiences in my past. They are certainly entertaining stories later…but a very real crisis at the time they occur! CDing certainly makes life exciting at times, eh?
just some thoughts...I never claim that they are "stable", lol.
Last edited by eluuzion; 11-16-2011 at 01:39 AM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Jessica, it's simply a matter of which ones; drapes, curtains, or blinds for the window by your front door!
When I'm sessioning in my living room, 2 neighbors have 2nd story bedrooms that look rite down into it! so, I simply close the drapes! End of problems!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I have gotten myself into many situations like that, but as of recent I haven't had any fear of what I'm doing. I have learned that we all have nothing to fear as friends do come and go, but good friends are always hard to find. I don't even call them friends unless we actually do something together "Acquaintances" more like it. Even then I have started to realize that by keeping this a secret; life becomes more difficult and I am always depressed. I recently talked to my mother about an incident that happened last week. My mother knows about my dressing and doesn't approve, but she really reamed my father for what he did. I love my mother and the cool part is she will actually let me use her computer so that I can chat with others like me and shop for dresses and stuff. I think she is now coming around to understand that she would rather have a relationship with her son/daughter rather than not have one at all. So we do need to be careful, but life is to short to keep secrets.
Kristen~~
how many times has that happened to me too
I here you girl, it happened to me and I swear three grey hairs popped out.... LOL. I've become the change master and can usually 'jump' out of the supergirl outfit in about 5 minutes. That is unless makeup and nails are involved.....that's a whole nuther story....
But hey, you survived. I wounder what would have happened if you shouted back through the door in your most manly voice? Dude...publisher's clearing house is here... or "hey did you order the pizza?"....
Renne......
After reading all the entries in this thread, the thought popped into my mind, "How could anyone think that we could stop being who we are?". Who would put themselves in the positions we do just to have time to be our feminine selves, even in the "privacy" of our own homes?
It also shows that we all learn to be incredible planners! We can't be transgendered without learning how to be organized!!!
But even the best of plans can use improving!
tina
If someone knew you were there and asks why you didn't answer, tell them you had gastroenteritis and were in the bathroom with explosive...er...uh... you know. Anyhoo I'm sure it'll gross them out and the conversation will end.
Gigner
Luckily, I have never had a close call other than the neighbor running across the building to look at my legs better the one time I did go out on halloween. Because my GF pulled the car around he must have thought it was Her and a friend leaving for the evening. He and his wife moved away shortly afterwards and I have always wondered the reasoning behind the move. that's out of fear lol
I am a closet dresser so I only go full nine (makeup and nails) when I am taking pics or maybe if it's another outing which never happens . If someone comes knocking I can get undressed fairly quickly and would throw pants over my hose.
I would just tell a neighbor like that, with a door like that, that they trapped you butt naked in the bathroom as you were getting in the shower and had they moved away for a minute you could have gotten dressed
If anyone does ask you why you didnt answer the door.. You dont have to give them an answer. It is your house and as long as your not doing anything illegal you dont have to answer to anyone. of course next time you could just answer the door.. Make up something like you were in the middle of sex games with your wife.. lol
New facebook page feel free to add me as a friend. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn...00003349942987
I could not agree more. Ignore it, but next time don't put yourself in a place where you can get trapped with no avenue of retreat. And leaving relevant windows uncovered is asking for trouble. We wait for a message on most phone calls when caller ID doesn't say it's someone we'll pick up for. In our 24/7 cultures one has to reserve the right to stay in the cave and lock the door...
sounds like the plan
wow, do i know this,
i alway love Chickhe thoughts
Jessica, it is so nice that are SO, calls us to let we (girls) know when we need to change, my so does this for me some time now, And the heart, girl, i have been scared a good couple of times, like you i just acted like a whole in the wall. Hope everything works out ok, LEts know.
[SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]
It's your door and you choice to answer it or not. You don't owe any explanations. If you find out who it was, you have more right to an apology for banging on your door so long and loudly than you owe an apology for not answering.
Hey, how about some closed curtains?
I can only imagine how wonderful not having the fear of discovery would be when dressing, It must make the experience feel more natural and relaxing. The fear of getting caught adds nothing to the excitement of my dressing, only to the anxiety.
Curtains? Drapes? Blinds?
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
If someone is rude enough to ask, just tell them it was a relative visiting and she didnt' answer the door while you and your wife were gone b/c she don't know anyone in the area.
It has been mentioned, but there's no law saying you have to answer the door. You might be napping, you might be in the shower or bath, you might be on the toilet, many reasons you wouldn't answer the dorr or even head a knock.
I would look into blinds or other window coverings, though and not only for this reason.
[SIGPIC]http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=82706&dateline=137762 0356[/SIGPIC]Linda
Posting Permissions
