Did Cding cause problems with girlfriends for you too?

[Marleena]

Just a little background on me first: My mom kicked my dad out when I was five for having an affair. My mom raised me and my sister by herself. I got hooked on CDing at about age ten when I tried on my sister's party dress with panties, panty girdle, and nylons. It felt great! My sister caught me and tried to lock me out of the house, but I fought like heck. I'm sure she told my mom but I don't remember the outcome. I was more careful after that.

I had lots of girlfriends as a teen, we always ended up kissing and heavy petting, and grinding against each other. It never ended up in the sex act, I didn't know what to do anyways. I was so shy! All of my ex girlfriends started to talk about me, that I was just a little boy. I realized I was different, that I had so many chances to have sex, but didn't. I also realized my attraction started with their clothes, not the girls themselves.

At age sixteen I finally had sex. Once her clothes came off she needed to help me (with you know). This was the girl I should have married! She was beautiful, always in a sexy miniskirt, or hot pants, and pantyhose. She was beautiful as well. She knew I liked pantyhose and often gave me hers. I still miss her today!

Thanks for reading!

[kimdl93]

I don't think the CDing itself was the problem, but the nagging feeling that nagging feeling that I wasn't as good as other people, that no one could really care for someone like me, that I was essentially defective in many ways. I didn't know until years later that these were all lies that I had been telling myself for most of my life...that I had a destructive inner voice that was beating me down at every opportunity. And, I didn't realize that I wasn't the only person who felt like I was damaged, inadequate, unlovable, etc...it seems to be a perpetual problem for teens.

It wasn't until I escaped high school and spent time in the Army that I realized I OK. I think being able to deal with the challenges, physical and emotional, helped me realize that I was as good as anyone else. I came home with more confidence and as a result, had better luck with women. (Note- that evil little voice still comes back from time to time...but I've pretty much learned to shut it out.)

[CarlaWestin]

How about this one. I always have been very attracted to and turned on by girls and women. I've always thought the whole courting process was stressful and full of deception and pitfalls. I realized early on that I could invest minimal effort into becoming the female that I wanted to be around. And then put her away when finished. All sexy and curvy with none of the anxiety. On the other hand, I have carefully nurtured actual relationships into what they are supposed to be. Loving, caring, respectful, mutual. And I have that extra female companion. ME

[Karren H]

My biggest problem was finding girlfriends that wore the same size as I did, lol. I always had a lot of girlfriends. And they didn't know about my "hobby"....

[LilSissyStevie]

CDing was never a problem because I kept that secret. My problem with girls was my shy, passive, submissive nature. They were waiting for me to make the first move and I was wishing they would do it. I kind of resented that expectation. The only time I could really get into the "male" role was when I was under the influence. That only went so far becasue as my substance abuse problem progressed, I became sexually non-functional. It wasn't that fun anyway if I had to be the dude. Once I got my substance abuse problem sorted out (33 years clean and sober) I got married and tried to have a "normal" sexual relationship. That was a collosal failure because we were both "bottoms." Once I could admit what I was, I looked for a woman that was a "top" (easier said than done) and we've lived happily ever after (16.5 years so far.)

[Tara D. Rose]

No Marleene, I actually never had any problems combining women and crossdressing from a child till 50 years old.. The reason for that was I was always too careful or too slick or something for 50+ years. But one time as I said in another thread, my step daughter in my second marriage went through my closet and found and old tape of me from 10 years earlier, and laid it on her mom's sleeping chest. I consfinscated it and detroyed it. But her daughter told her what she saw on said tape. I admitted to only what I had to tell. Then divorced and blackmailed for $20,000, which I paid back then. But I would never give in to such blackmail like that today.
My current wife knows. The reason she knows is because I voluntarily told her. I didn't want to ever get back into this. I was successfully purged. But she encouraged it so for a week, I gave in, we had fun for a while, nowt here is some static about it, she says there's no problem, but I say there is. I say that because of many fights about over the last year and a half totally addressed to me becoming Tara. Now I just curb my desire and I do get irritable because of my having to suppress my needs and desires. But every marriage has so many different facets to consider.

L&R...............................Tara

[KellyJameson]

Hi Marleena ( pretty name by the way )
I do not think a woman could psychologically survive in a relationship with me, she would have to throw everything she believes to be true into the trash and start over from scratch. My crossdressing is a small expression of something much larger and more complex that I do not completely understand but enjoy immensely. I rarely feel anger but I'm very intense because at heart I'm a truth seeker and my mind will not rest until it understands everything, it is like an addiction and for most people just to difficult to be around

Definitely for me Big_Girl_To nailed an important aspect of it. I have tricked nature and bypassed instinctual behavior to my advantage by creating a woman inside me. It is my way of pointing my finger to the sky and telling God to F off by burdening me with male sexuality, I see it as far more of a curse than a blessing and I'm thankful it has not destroyed my life like I have seen it do to so many others.

Also I'm a bit like LilSissyStevie except I cannot tolerate being dominated anymore than I can tolerate dominating another and the sexual expression by it's very nature is an aggresive act that runs contrary to my emotional being, I'm not passive but extremely sensitive to other living beings so even when I know the other person wants to be taken I still cannot because that ability is absent in me. I call it having the animal absent in my brain.

So the short answer would be no my CDing never caused problems because their heads were reeling from all the other confusing aspects of my personality and the relationships always ended before it had time to become an issue. I really like being me and the life I have built but I would never want a woman to love me because if one person is hurting in a relationship than they both are.

In nature the female attracts and the male pursues and this force is also a part of human beings but our minds have and want to escape the limits of nature and have mastery over our instinctual drives but it is very dfifficult to do this without killing the benefit of being human animals, sex feels good but it comes with a high price.

[VioletJourney]

Nope. Granted, the only relationship I had was like 2 months long before she suddenly, arbitrarily decided she hated me... but she seemed to be the kind of person who would embrace weirdness. I typically look for those kinds of girls.

[DeeInGeorgia]

CDing per se did not, but my innate gender expression did. I was too shy around women when tryibg to attract them, but was a good friend, almost one of the girls, during girl talk type discussions. As shy as I was around girls, during a 7 year period, I asked out over 60 and went out with almost 30 women, and all but one showed any real, long term interest in me. I was'nt manly enough for them.

[Aprilrain]

I think I told most of my GFs that I like to wear woman's clothes and none of them seemed to have a problem with it. My wifes biggest problem with it was that I had such a problem with it and of course she wondered if I would want to transition. She doesn't have to wonder anymore! She says I'm her dead husbands annoying sister LOL.

[Marleena]

That's a cute story! Too funny.

I think I told most of my GFs that I like to wear woman's clothes and none of them seemed to have a problem with it. My wifes biggest problem with it was that I had such a problem with it and of course she wondered if I would want to transition. She doesn't have to wonder anymore! She says I'm her dead husbands annoying sister LOL.

[jillleanne]

I never had a problem getting girlfriends, but I had a terrible time approaching one and expressing my feelings. As well, I had a terrible time being faithful to one longterm. It seems now looking back, everytime I saw a sexier/prettier/better dressed one, I would migrate to a new one if possible. Whether it was testosterone, gender enhancements, or stupidity doing this I have no idea. Glad I got over it though.

[JenniferR771]

Karren you are so funny! "...trying to find a girlfriend that wore my size."!! LOL!

And so...years ago told my serious long-time girlfriend something like,"If you wear a girdle, I will too." Shortly after she asked if I were gay. It didn't work out. I am glad, now. Although, we did wear the same size. She still has a pair of my jeans.

[Aprilrain]

"If you wear a girdle, I will too." Shortly after she asked if I were gay.

I am just overwhelmed by the number of gay men I see wearing girdles!

[docrobbysherry]

No issues with dressing when I was young because I didn't start until I was 50+, Marleena!

But, like u, I didn't have intercourse with girlfriends in my teens. Condoms weren't sold to those under 18 back then! One GF said she was religious and couldn't have sex until married. During heavy petting, she suddenly said, "I want u now!" However, I wasn't prepared with condoms, so didn't! I had no interest in marriage or babies back then! While vacationing back East, she found a real stud who didn't care and got preggers! And, I KNEW it wasn't mine! WHEW!

[Marleena]

Thanks Sherry!

My GF at sixteen was the ticket for me, I struggled before that. I think not having a dad around and Cding got me off to a bad start.

[bridgetta]

my girl is still struggling.. i noticed it is a need to be safe in a definition.. i just want the boundries dropped in the spirit of awesomeness and fun.. i definetly have a seasonal disorder with it.. mainly.. august thru october.. and then it fades off.. a mixture of laziness , comfort and just general impractability .. but when its on its strong... its annoying how it leads to trouble because she is paranoid i am trying to make time without her to do it.. and i dont do that.. mainly because im a good person..