If you had the choice would you rather NOT be a CD'er?

[Marleena]

When I first joined this forum I was embracing my CDing and have an accepting SO.

The fact is we are what we are and it won't go away.

I only see a very small amount of members who have SO's that really are okay with it. I see lots of horror stories. Then there is the intolerance from society as a whole.

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?

[OKPink]

I would not have it any other way. In fact the opposite. Usually I underdress, rarely to I wear femme attire out. I never wear make-up or wigs. I used to have *really* long hair, but not now. If I knew how to do makeup better I would wear it.
If I could do anything different, I would be younger, hotter and dress much more in more places.

[Marleena]

My answer is in my signature. Just curious to see what others think. I know it's a difficult question because we are what we are.

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I love your signature Marleena!

Hugs

[Noemi]

It would be so nice to not be a cd'er or a tg'er as I am. I have suffered with this issue for as long as I can remember, and have had serious bouts with drugs and alcohol in an attempt to not feel as I do.

I have never felt that I belong anywhere sexually. As a human I do get along with all people. It might be nice to just be a man, perhaps not to have just epilated my belly(ouch).

But dressing feels so good, and I would not have the perspective and probably would not have the, "feel" that I have with out the internal conflict that I harbor.

Hypothetical anyway. You said it Sister, "We are what we are."
Today I am still dressing up................
There is also the the thought that we picked all these challenges for ourselves for this life. If you believe in eternity as I do. I do see the perfection in my life.
So the answer is no I would not change the fact that I am a cd'er.

[Launa]

I would change it. I would rather be male or female and not stuck in between.

[Cynthia Anne]

If I had a choice NO I would not be a cder! Then I WOULD be female!!!!!!!! Hugs!

[Beverley Sims]

Male or female,I lost too much time stuck in between.
Now I handle it a lot better and life is good. I do have fun now.

[suchacutie]

I can understand how many would feel that being "in between" requires a tremendous effort and commitment, and it's not like we chose to go down this path!

However, finding Tina has changed my life in so many positive ways that could not have happened if I were "only" male.

So, even though it can be a bit of a pain in the neck on occasion, I'm glad I am who I am, and I'm overwhelmingly glad that I have a fantastic wife who is Tina's girlfriend!

[Marleena]

There are already some wonderful answers. There is no right or wrong answer, I'll bow out and let this take it's course. Thank you so much!

[christina s]

Yes and no.

I really wish there was a part of me that could just accept this side of myself and enjoy life . Then there's apart of me that could just leave this behind and go ahead with life without this little road block .

[Diana Bain]

"We are who we are"...Diana is a part of me...I accept her and love her...unconditionally!!!!

[Lorileah]

Nope would not change me...I would change the world. If I didn't have my TG side I would be a very boring person

[Leslie Langford]

Marleena, didn't we pretty much cover this topic in a recent thread which you started as well?

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ft-not-a-curse!

Maybe there's a nuance in the meaning here compared with the other thread that I'm not quite clueing into...

[April_Ligeia]

I would rather see people free to express themselves in any way they wished, in which case wearing whatever I wanted would be acceptable, so none of it would be called crossdressing. I would wear what is now considered female attire, but would not be a crossdresser.

[*Vanessa*]

.
What... take or leave society???

Ya you can have it, just give me the right to dress as i please

[KellyJameson]

To stop would be to kill off communication with my other half. Every person contains elements of the masculine and the feminine so in some sense everyone is both Aphrodite and Hermes and in my opinion extremism comes from being divided against yourself.

I maintain homeostasis by emulating a woman because I was born in balance between the duality of male and female and pushed by the culture out of balance so crossdressing brings me back into the balance that is my birthright.

Many males would find my state of mind intolerable because they view that aspect of themselves as weak and they think the expression of it would invite ridicule or leave them feeling inpotent. They fail to understand that what appears to be weak is strong and what appears to be strong is weak . Life is a duality hidden by paradoxes.

[nylon boy]

I love crossdressing as it brings out another person in me,i wouldnt change a thing as being able to express that side of me is such a wonderfull thing that i think we should all embrace and not resent!

[sanderlay]

So if you really had a choice would you take it or leave it?

All I have to do is go back into my life and see how many times I tried to stop. How many times I threw away the clothes and promised myself I would never go back. Those were the times that I made the choice... the tough choice... to be normal... to fit in... to stop. I was not happy with my behavior and I believed those who told me it was a sin... it was wrong... it was immoral behavior. I wanted to be normal... and be a... GOOD PERSON.

So I read about those rules... those teaching that were preached to me so long ago and I came to the conclusion... they were taken out of context... and twisted the meaning of the original text to fit an agenda.

But please... don't take my word for it. I'm not telling or preaching anything to you. Read for yourself... and come to your own conclusions. Take responsibility for your own actions... and if you feel inclined... share your story... share what you have learned. But please... leave me in peace. I'm not here to argue with your beliefs.

Today... I also look at it as a gift. It's the way the creator made me. I've accepted this is who I am and am much happier for it. The secret has lost its power. After all... they are only clothes. And anyone should have the right to wear them without prejudice or judgement.

[DebbieL]

In the ideal world, I could dress the way I wanted to, wear make-up, clothing, and wig or long hair, and be accepted as "one of the girls", and I could do it tomorrow, without any adverse consequences. I'd still have the job I love, the wife I love, and have lots of friends.

Furthermore, I could start the HRT and get the orchiectomy right away, rather than having to go through the year long transition period.

If it weren't for the Consequences I'd be sporting a 40D or 38D and have a small waist, and a great "Skirt butt'.

Unfortunately, there ARE consequences. For me, if I had continued with the transition back in 1992, I wouldn't have been able to see my kids at all, I would still have had to pay half my after-tax income as child-support, and I would have had to leave the state earlier, because there was no protection for the rights of gays, perceived gays, lesbians, or transgendered. You could be fired, you could be refused service in restaurants and stores, you could even be arrested for using the ladies' room. If I was attacked, the perpetrators would have gotten a slap on the wrist, but if I fought back, I could go to men's prison for assault, because prosecutors and juries in that part of the country were not sympathetic to anyone in the GLBT community, and in Colorado, it was only the Gay and Lesbian community, with very little support for the transgendered community. The only transgender support group in a 200 mile radius met only once a month, on a week-day evening.

I would have HAD to transition fairly quickly and with very little support, because I was only attracted to women and Lesbians don't want a chick with a dick. On the other hand, a bisexual woman would have wanted a man who was more well-endowed than I was, and a REAL woman. After the transition, I would have had to try to prevent people from finding out that I had once been a man.

It's hard for any young transgendered boy of today to imagine how far we have come in the last 60 years.

We've gone from a culture where female virginity was so valued that parents would harden their daughters' hymen to make it impossible to penetrate the adult hymen without a surgeon's help, but forgot to tell their married daughters that they would need this type of help. Where all gay and transgendered men were just considered "Draft Dodgers", and treated with contempt, often beaten and harassed until they conformed to the norm and served their country "properly". Many ENLISTED to avoid the persecution. During the McCarthy witch-hunt, gender and sexual diversity were considered "Commie" and were even considered a plot to overthrow the government. One of the greatest fears was that the Soviets would release a sexually transmitted disease which would spread unchecked through prisons, to the gay population, then to the bisexual population, then to prostitutes, then to men, then to all child-bearing women. Depending on the rate of spread and duration between contracting the disease and detectable time and then death, the disease could wipe out the entire population in as little as 30 years. And when AIDS first came to the USA, many thought that this might have been such an attack.

One of the ironies is that many transgendered men are autosexual or asexual, and at the very lowest possible risk of all. The other group was Lesbians, who have not had a recorded incident of passing the disease through sexual contact.

What would be really ironic would be if it turned out that the only fertile women and disease free men - were Lesbians and transgenders.

[Angela2me]

I could change me to not be a CD'er or change the world to have no clothing gender rules.

Angela

[SallyS]

If I couldn't 'dress', then I'd probably be in the loony bin by now

It centers me, it focuses me, it enlightens me, it calms me, it warms me, it elates me, it IS me!!!

I choose to do what feels right for me, thankfully my SO just lets me get on with it

Without it I just don't feel complete. If I could take a pill to take it all away, well that pill would be straight down the plug hole!

After years of guilt and shame I FINALLY accept it

But yes, I feel for all those who can't express themselves so freely. I am lucky and I know that!

[Karren H]

I would change it. I would rather be male or female and not stuck in between.

......... Bingo!! ............

[wanagione]

I would rather be female.

[RachelZ]

I would rather be female.

^Likewise. But I really like having the choice