I went out for the first time dressed the other day ... mostly, anyway. Women's jeans and top. My wife and I took a trip to VT for the day. It was definitely mixed mode, i.e., presenting male, but with ambiguous clothing. She thought it a bit girly, especially the top. I was very comfortable. She asked if it felt like crossdressing. I thought it felt like 30% or so. Baby steps, as it's so often said ...
It's been up and down for a few days, but the day out was fun.
Lea
That sounds like a great step forward Lea. For some it is all or nothing when going out and for others, a gradual increase in what we wear helps our confidence. I am glad that this worked for you. So does this baby step draw out the feelings for another baby step forward or do you want to "rest on your laurels" for a bit? Is the going out bug biting you?
In a funny way, neither. That is, the clothes I wore just felt appropriate to me. So on one hand it was baby steps, on the other, I was "just" dressed for the day. It sort of reminds me of the first time I wore a bra all day. What I felt was a strong sense of relief. My reaction out dressed the other day was comfort - the clothes were physically comfortable, but more than that, I felt comfortable.Originally Posted by Sue
I've wanted to go out fully presenting female for a long time, years and years. The ease in going out the other day does take a bit of the anxiety off that and yes, it probably does bring it a little closer. What prevents me for the time being, though, is lacking a couple of items, particularly a wig. I do think I'd be more inclined to go out casual as opposed to in a dress or skirt, though. I.e., Jeans (sorry, Karren!).
Lea
Glad you are getting out. It is good to dress in whatever you feel like wearing.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Lea, I live in New England as well, and I find Vermont a wonderful destination trip while dressed! And I agree....be comfortable!
Lea, congratulations. I think it is wonderful that you can do this and it just feels like the right thing to do at the moment. I think that feeling of freedom of thought and action is something we are all trying to find. It seems you are there and if what feels right changes in the future, and you feel more fully presenting female is now appropriate, as they say - You go girl!
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
Thing is, it sort of took me by surprise that it felt so natural. I expected ... something. Anxiety, if nothing else. It reminded me of something Karren said in a post a while back about not feeling anything in particular when dressed. Yet the need is there. There's a gulf in my understanding that really makes me wonder.
Lea
I think wearing some, somewhat obvious, girls' clothes in boy mode is a way forward for most of us. At some point though the amount of girly clothes that you are wearing are going to stand out and we will find ourselves in that curious zone where we are (to other people) dressing in a way that is now "outside the norm". I think that a lot of people like to keep others in one of two boxes - male or female - and so when you start to obviously "break the clothing rules" you're going to get noticed and some people who don't understand our motives are going to feel uncomfortable. Now, what you do about this is up to you, but me, once I get to a certain level of being a guy obviously wearing women's clothes, I will then make my next step to present fully as female with all of the "extras" like a wig, makeup, forms and hip padding. At what point do you think you'll know that the amount of women's clothes you're wearing in boy mode will now be your trigger to dress fully en femme ...assuming you follow my line of thought and do what I do?
Anyway, kudos to you for taking this important step and getting out there and doing it
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Glad you're gettin' out Lea. I too take baby steps in this adventure, but am more of the grenade type of person (not sure what I meant there - okay it's more like the little bit pregnant idea - you either are or aren't). It's either all or nothing. Although in male mode, I wear stretch jeans and chic shoes, but that's about it. When en fem though, I go all the way. Not to stand out but to blend in. I am constantly scanning GGs for that look. My right brain still thinks that I should look like a 20 something beauty queen, but my left brain says to act my age and blend in... What a battle...
Renne.....
that sounds like a pretty good step for both of you.
Feeling comfortable is what it is all about!
My wife was fine. The only reactions she saw were due to my nails. I was off last week and had some color on (I usually only have a pale pink sheer topcoat). It was subtle but had some lavender iridescense. The sales guy at the gun shop doing a double-take while handing me a revolver was entertaining. There were a few other similar reactions.
Lea
Last edited by LeaP; 11-29-2011 at 06:56 AM. Reason: spelling
Lea, anyone who knows me at all, knows I am a big proponent of getting out there and living! My wife and I spend a lot of time together in public and the world has not s much hiccuped. Congratulations on having the courage to live your own life and be yourself.
Fulltime girl on the inside.
Lipstick=confidence
[SIZE=4]Holly[/SIZE]
One interesting thing about presenting male in women's clothing - albeit subtly - was that it gave me a different perspective on those who like to present that way. I always thought it a very odd conception. Having experienced it, however, I think I understand it better. It would not be my preference, though. While an ambiguous presentation, or simply adding femme touches to everyday wear is one thing, I would not want to wear obviously female clothing (e.g., a dress) and present male. I'm 100% certain that I will go out presenting fully female. It's more a question of when.I think wearing some, somewhat obvious, girls' clothes in boy mode is a way forward for most of us. At some point though the amount of girly clothes that you are wearing are going to stand out and we will find ourselves in that curious zone where we are (to other people) dressing in a way that is now "outside the norm". I think that a lot of people like to keep others in one of two boxes - male or female - and so when you start to obviously "break the clothing rules" you're going to get noticed and some people who don't understand our motives are going to feel uncomfortable. Now, what you do about this is up to you, but me, once I get to a certain level of being a guy obviously wearing women's clothes, I will then make my next step to present fully as female with all of the "extras" like a wig, makeup, forms and hip padding. At what point do you think you'll know that the amount of women's clothes you're wearing in boy mode will now be your trigger to dress fully en femme ...assuming you follow my line of thought and do what I do?
Anyway, kudos to you for taking this important step and getting out there and doing it
Lea
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