I couldn't wait to get here and tell you all about my first time out! Saturday was an incredible experience for me. For weeks I had been thinking about going to this place in the local area where they have a LGBT community center. I almost didn't go and had several thoughts about canceling a "date" I had made with a TG aquaintance I had made. I'm so glad I didn't cancel!
I met her at the CC. I went to the private bathroom to change into my femme outfit. I was so scared to come out I called her on the phone and asked if she'd come down and get me! She came and got me and escorted me upstairs to an area of the CC where we could sit right in front of the window where all the passers by could see in. She wanted to get me out of this "shy" phase. I was tripping out I was so nervous. But I remembered what my father always told me about being scared to do something. He always would say "when you go somewhere and you're sort of afraid to do it, just walk right in like you own the place." My dad's been passed now over 10 years, but his words always are present with me. Anyway; so that's what I did. Some how I mustered up the courage, took a deep breath and went to sit down.
My friend introduced me to her roommate and before I knew it we were all gabbing away and having a marvously time. Then I noticed I had to put some change in the parking meter outside where my car was and thought, "what am I going to do?" I mentioned my delema to Michelle and she said, "come on were going to put some change in the parking meter." I thought at first I was going to die, but I once again just mustered up some inner strength and before I knew it I was walking (in my heels) with Michelle to the car all dressed.
As I walked down the street with attention focused on the location of my car, I couldn't help but notice how exciting it was! What a feeling! I didn't look anybody in the face/eyes, just kept my focus on my mission, but as I walked it felt so good! It was an amazing experience! I was so confident that later I left fully dressed and drove to another friend's house. I have a GG friend who's supportive of me. I presented myself to her and she loved it! In fact she had went out that day and bought me a whole bunch of make-up. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening making up my face real good and trying on different outfits. OMG! she was so cool about it and I was never more happy in my whole life!
What a day! Just wanted to post here for you my support group. Reading all your posts gave me the courage to do this. Thank you!
Paulette
