Real feeling or wishful thinking

[Joanne f]

I was not quite sure which section to put this in as i would like any to answer .
I do not know if this is normal or not but a lot will say that they just feel different yet sometimes find it hard to explain , well i guess that i am no different in that part but(always that but) there is one thing that i have always felt,hoped for or even assumed that one day someone would look up to me and say " we have found something strange inside of you , as far as your inside bits are concerned you are female , which would explain hell of a lot as to why i am like this .
Now i think i have enough common sense to tell me that this is stupid but that thought or wishful thinking has been very real for me and it has come as bit of a disappointment to me to find out otherwise as it almost makes a bit of my way of thinking now unreal , so can this be a real thought/feeling or just wishful thinking or am i plain insane for thinking that in the first place , but it just go`s to show you how this difference can play tricks on you , has anyone else had similar thoughts or am i more stranger than i even thought .

[PaulaAnn]

I think ,therefore I am.
Maybe Descarte was an early CD,TG'r ?
Paula.

[Marleena]

I think many of us have wondered this, or I'm strange too.lol.

I'm just going to blame it on that dumb female chromosome we have!

[az_azeel]

Joanne.. i have moved your thread into the MtF section as i can see it going more and more to the female chromosome aspect..

[Danni Renee]

My ideas have always been more of a split personality type: I am going to wake up from hypnosis to find there are lots of people living inside my head I never new about! But then I took wake up to reality and continue to try to live with who I am.

Danni

[Barbara Ella]

I looked deep inside me a short while ago, and indeed found something strange. Now I am embracing it for all i am worth.

Hugs, Babes

[Edyta_C]

Alot of recent research is showing that many MTF brains are wired like a GG female brain. While an exam might not show you as intersexed, you may have brains like a GG. So there very well may be physical reasons why you are what you are. Remember, you are you! You are not defective!

Edy

[suchacutie]

The "bits" would be a chromosome test or a "PET" scan of your brain.

Might not be conclusive, but that's where the "bits" are

(PET=positron emission tomography)

tina

[Linzy]

I think it all boils down to why we CD.

Some do it as more of a turn on or fetish, which I believe would simply be classified as a "kink".

Some do it simply because they want to, perhaps they just find it interesting or fun - could be considered a hobby of sorts.

Some do it because they honestly feel they have been born into the wrong body. In this case, there has been medical evidence that suggests these types of people have a brain that functions like that of the opposite sex. I believe this is what you are describing.

I think one of the tell tail differences is the desire to have female body parts / functions. Those that do it as a hobby or fetish may fantasize about what it would be like having female parts, while those that feel they are in the wrong body deeply desire to have female parts.

The most important thing is that you figure out what YOU want, and to pursue that, just be sure to do it safely.

[noeleena]

Hi,

May be there will be a day we will know why we are the way we are. the autopsys done on some trans years ago found many trans brains were similer to women. tho that should not surprise us, those of us who are I S for some the ct scans show that . both male / female parts.

Its allso about how we are wired. brain that is. & others we have no separation of the difference between male female. or the mix of both. for my self i can not seperate between the two.

& i have no idear im just born the way i am. as it is im just a woman & live true to who i am, tho i will not discard that part of my male side, because its all that makes myself who i am.

...noeleena...

[jillleanne]

Hi,

May be there will be a day we will know why we are the way we are. the autopsys done on some trans years ago found many trans brains were similer to women. tho that should not surprise us, those of us who are I S for some the ct scans show that . both male / female parts.

Its allso about how we are wired. brain that is. & others we have no separation of the difference between male female. or the mix of both. for my self i can not seperate between the two.

& i have no idear im just born the way i am. as it is im just a woman & live true to who i am, tho i will not discard that part of my male side, because its all that makes myself who i am.

...noeleena...

either that or my mother had something to do with it because she told me repeatedly that we are all going straight to hell if I lie to her once more.

[Tina B.]

I think it is simply the desire to have an answer, we all want to understand why, wither we love dressing or feel a deep seated need to dress, we just want to have an answer as to why, what makes me want/need this. It would be nice if it where as simple as something that could be easily detected, instead of something so deep in our mental state that there has been no simple answer to why.
Tina B.

[Stephenie S]

I am not really sure what you are asking. Is it a version of "why"? Why am I like this?

I can say that in my opinion this is the masculine side of you showing. Guys are always obsessed with "why". In reality, why matters not a whit. Why do I like the color blue? Why do I like eggs and not sausage? Why do I fasten my bra in front and spin it around?

These are all fairly useless, non productive questions. You can spend a lifetime trying to figure out WHY you have these feelings of femininity, or you can spend a lifetime ENJOYING these feminine feelings. Which do you think would be more enjoyable?

Most women have figured out that often "why" doesn't matter half so much as "it just is".

I have a "why" for you. Why don't you relax and enjoy your life just the way Goddess made you? Life is short. Enjoy it.

S

[DebbieL]

Even if you have XY chromosomes, you may still have biological causes for your feelings. In the first three months of pregnancy, many of the key elements of formation that produce a boy or girl are done. The key difference between the boy embryo and the girl embryo is the level of testosterone in the bloodstream. Normally, a genetic boy produces lots of testosterone and the baby's brain, fingers, and reproductive organs come out a nice healthy boy.

In a girl baby, there is a small amount of testosterone, but very little. As a result, the embryo develops female characteristics, lower aggression, and female reproductive organs.

In an urban or high stress environment, there is less physical activity, more social interaction, more alcohol, drugs, and stress. Women who don't realize they are pregnant will diet and drink lots of water to feel more full. All of these things can flush out some of the testosterone, causing an embryo to become "intersexed" to a degree, developing a "female brain" a smaller penis, and small testicles or testicles that are still inside the body, almost like ovaries. In extreme cases, the infant could even become a hermaphrodite - having both a small penis and what looks like a vulva. Modern hospital methods typically try to "normalize" the babies shorty after they are born. Normally, parental consent is required.

A very simple test can show if your body was "flushed" to some degree. Measure your index finger on your right hand, then do the same with your ring finger aka third finger, and compare the lengths. If your index finger is longer, then you had very low amounts of testosterone in the womb, and you probably have a smaller limbic system. This is the part of your brain that controls aggression. A male brain is very aggressive and helps men protect their territory, causes them to fight more, and causes them to be more sexually aggressive. A female brain is less aggressive, more cooperative, and less territorial. This seems to be common in most species where the males fight for control of territory and breeding rights, then females who enter that territory reproduce with and submit to the male who controls the territory.

Women who are sexually active during those first months can absorb testosterone into their blood stream. This may be one reason why we see so many "Tom-boys". Many tom-boys, who are genetic females, but had testosterone in those early weeks, tend to be more aggressive, get into fights with boys, and often as they get older become more sexually aggressive. Many dress in a more masculine style, and have a more masculine shape. In species that travel in packs, such as wolves, the alpha females dominate the other females and have more frequent sex with the alpha male. Since urban dwelling is more pack oriented, it may be that alpha women desire more sex more often than more feminine women. As a result, they pass the testosterone to their offspring, both male and female.

Biologically, there may be other factors, during puberty, during early child-hood, that can cause early imprints of both sexual identity and sexual preference. How many biologically normal males end up becoming cross-dressers or transsexuals is hard to determine. One problem is that most transsexuals and other transgenders don't get recorded. It's not a question on a census form, it's not a question that is asked on most applications or application forms. Once in a while, I will see forms that offer "Other" in addition to "Male" and "Female", but how many check that box?

One of the interesting things that has changed significantly is that police now routinely examine a dead person's computer, to see if there is any indication of foul play. Even in the case of suicides, police have found that activity on face-book, twitter, web traffic, and cell-phones can give a great deal of insight into contributing factors. The police have been astonished at how many male teen suicides have been related to gender identity or sexual preference issues. I wish they would produce statistics related to these discoveries.

[DebbieL]

I am not really sure what you are asking. Is it a version of "why"? Why am I like this?

These are all fairly useless, non productive questions. You can spend a lifetime trying to figure out WHY you have these feelings of femininity, or you can spend a lifetime ENJOYING these feminine feelings. Which do you think would be more enjoyable?

Most women have figured out that often "why" doesn't matter half so much as "it just is".

I have a "why" for you. Why don't you relax and enjoy your life just the way Goddess made you? Life is short. Enjoy it.
S

Women have lots of choices, but even they tend to develop a sense of "taste" or "style" that is influenced by peers. The criteria may be more subjective, what's "hot" and what's "Too ****ty". Women will avoid mixing colors that clash, and choose colors that complement their skin tone, eye color, and hair color, length, and style. The decisions are more subtle, and require much less justification once they are made.

In male-to-male interactions, alpha males will often challenge other males, intellectually rather than physically. Their instinct is to attack a new or unconventional idea or proposal, and if they lose the argument, they will attempt to take ownership or possession of the new idea once it's adopted - even if they opposed it until it became ubiquitous.

As a result, even transgendered males have to justify far more when working in a male dominated environment, and have to protect their intellectual fruits more as well.

This justification also crosses into their decisions to dress like, act like, or actually BE, a woman. Male doctors often expect more justification.

[elizabethamy]

Well, this is a very interesting discussion. Certainly my first quest upon starting to dress was to say, "what is this?" At first I thought I was becoming (?) gay or bi, or some kind of porn-story submissive....then when I narrowed it down to crossdressing as an act unto itself, the second question is, "What caused it?" Like others who posted here I think I've found the biological cause -- my mom took the hormone DES while pregnant with me and I got a big brainbath of estrogen when I should have been swimming in testosterone.

But okay -- now what? How to deal with the brain I have, the desires I have, the deck of cards each of us has been dealt. Don't be afraid of what your mind or your subconscious is whispering to you. I spend too many years trying not to hear. Any thoughts you have are okay. It may be too late to start your life over again, but it's never too late to find yourself and if I or anyone else here can help, please ask.

elizabethamy

[Tammy V]

I have an older tg friend, she has never taken any hormones or taken any official steps to trasition, but she lives alone and dresses 24/7. She still has male id but goes to all her doctor's visits female and even votes female with her male id. She is convinced she is interesexed and has/had an extra hole somewhere. I think she is full of it bc she has never had any confirmation, I think her GID is inside her and not physical or it would have been found out. Maybe that is wishful thinking on her part but I love her and she is my sis and if it wasn't for her daughter she could be Fully the person she is. We all have an albatross unless we decide to kill the bird of good omen. By that I don't mean violence but a clean break.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm guessing much of it depends upon whether we are our own person or trying to fulfill society's "expectation" of us according to gender.