The most common question is why? It does not make sense to many people that we do this. Since we are such a diverse group, and at different levels of CDing there really is no clear answer. None of us asked for this but the only common thing I see is we are compelled to do it.
So it will remain a mystery until scientists take the time to analyze it and even tell us Cder's why. They seem to find answers for everything else.
We are compelled to do it is the simple short answer that covers all of us. We don't know why anymore then we know why we like anything we do. I have some idea of how I got started and how and when the compulsion started, but no idea as to why this compulsion is so strong that we can'
t stop if we wanted too. All we have is theory after theory and no concrete reason that fits all of us.
The most common question I get from people who first find out is, "are you Gay or Bisexual?" Really kinda weird they automatically asssume you can't be a straight man who enjoys dressing up like a woman. Never once had I gotten excited about going shopping for a new suit, jeans or shoes, until I went shopping for womens clothing. Just recently me and my wife made atrip out of state to see one of her high school friends, the area she lived in was full of small boutiques and shops and as we walked to a local bar for lunch the day we left I kept nudging her in the side telling her to look at this shop or that shop and how next time we need to stay longer and do some serious shopping. Another thing, my wife described going out with me dressed to her friend "He dressed in a nice dress and we did his makeup and we went to the club, but he didn't speak with a feminine voice, it was just him in a dress all dolled up, and we had a great time."
Simply because we like to and it excites us. I wonder if I am now a mad scientist.
That's not the most common question I get....
"Would that be cash or credit?"
That's what I hear most often.
i do not know so i could not answer this
JC
the guy that plays dress up and that has the best wife in the world!
I don't understand why I do it myself, so I don't expect a stranger (a scientist or someone else) to come up with an answer.
Whenever I have worn a skirt in male mode, there have never been any issues at all.
I agree with Mona Lisa (like your smile by the way but your hair is really dated). BUT there is more than one shoe size. What floats my boat is entirely different than what works for others.
It would only be considered a cure if you felt it was an illness. I find my feminine side an asset in that I have a more sensitive side then most men. If a pill were developed to change me from a CD to a typical male I would throw it away. Maybe a better pill to develop would be to enhance the understanding of others who are different then themselves.
But it makes so much sense to me! But what i have to say may not be true for all of you... I am sooooo curious to see if it is even slightly true, my theory... So let me know?
But here is why it makes sense to me. Because for whatever reason, you are sensual. More so than other men and apparently most women. Not me though... ;-). Things proba.bl.y move you. Emotionally. Sensations. Butterflies in your stomach. Music gives you goosebumps maybe. It does me... I get lost in music absolutely and if i really like a song i feel like my stomach is on a roller coaster and my heart flutters and my entire body is covered in goosebumps... Its like a whole body orgasm.... Things probably really thrill you like this. They dont affect every one this way and i feel so lucky that they do me....
But my point about dressing is that when a man feels sensual like this he has nowhere to go nothing to wear in order to express it. There is nothing easily available or acceptable in most circles to wear to enhance this feeling. Silk and velvet do. Lace has a roughness that is very stimulating. Net and tulle. .. Well i could go on forever. I have said it before but i will say it again... There is no male equivalent to VS. But men can be just as sensual as women or even more. So if there is nothing for a man to wear in order to feel sensual, then it just makes sense to wear womans. I sometimes get dressed up for no reason... I mean to the nines. Sometimes i will go out like that... Just to feel things.... I love to feel. Do you?
PS. I am not talking about people who feel they were born the wrong gender.... Personally I do not understand this because it really is not important to me... Gender. But i will try to understand it. I am open to learning.
The sensual side is probably most CDrs response.
As for me, I don't completely understand why I like to do it myself some times...so I'm not expecting someone on the outside to suddenly no why I do what I do better than I do...
I'm a guy who likes girls, I just like a little more about them than the average guy.
If I had the answer to the WHY of crossdressing I could make millions doing counseling, writing books on the subject and lecturing. Unfortunately, I don't have that answer, so I'll just kick off my heels and wait for the person who does have that answer to come forward and tell me.
In the meantime, someone please pass the Victoria's Secret catalog...
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Wow. What a fantastic post. That actually helps me understand a little better.Originally Posted by CloserthanthisGG
Well, I will say that most SOs are going to have questions. (I had a lot of them). I still do and that's okay. Part of living in the world is trying to explain what we feel and what we think to everyone around us. CDs are no exception to this. But, the kinds of questions that you get are rather unique and are usually more imperative (maybe your wife found a stash of women's underwear and your relationship rides on how you answer her questions and make her feel comfortable).
I would feel mildly sorry that CDs have to explain themselves, answer questions, and think critically. But, I really don't.
Why? Because, everyone does. Many of my friends were upset that I came out as being bisexual, they wanted to know why and I told them. If my SO transitions, I am going to have to come out to my family. I will have to explain it to them and not be hostile or offended. I have also gotten a lot of responses from GGs in my life about my SO CDing, "Why do you let him do that? Are you really attracted to him? Does that worry you?" These questions are kind of loaded, but I take them in stride and answer them.
Why? Because, I am not immune, privileged, or special either. If I want to be understood, I have to explain...and, I hope my explanations make for more accepting people in this society.
It is impractical to throw up my hands and just say, "Well, people aren't going to understand...so what!"
But, that's just me and I've been explaining myself for quite a while. It may be newer to CDs...but, if you take it beyond the computer, you will have to learn to be socially competent in explaining yourself, answering questions, and in turn listening to people and being understanding towards them.
Just my two cents
As for "the why" it can be hard to explain WHY I'm attracted to women and men, but that doesn't mean I can't try or that I can't explain why I think I am. It's really kind of easy. I also find it relatively easy to explain why my SO is sexy to me, why I would support her transitioning if it was best for her, and why her CDing doesn't bother me. Do I have to know myself to know these answers? Sure...I had to do some soul searching for the answers. But, it was beneficial in the long run and it helps people around me be more sensitive to gay right and transgendered rights. We are often the first TG couple that people see around here (and they don't see the Cami half much, unfortunately)....but, our explanations and how we handle people kind of sets an example.
I'm also proud to say our family members are accepting of us and so are our friends. Coincidence???
Last edited by Shananigans; 12-02-2011 at 02:54 PM.
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Hmmm, Hopefully they will get the answer before 12/21/12 or it will most likely be moot.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Because. Anything else you want to know?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Why crossdress?
Why not? It's delightful ^_^
Me? I have no questions, it was a statement.
You understand CloserthanthisGG, Sensuality is the shared blood. I use different words like sensitivity,balance, connectivity, intuition ,openness, nurturing, protective, feeling, logic as a tool not as a replacement for emotions, Aggression in defense of life not as an act to accumulate power, friendly competition to strengthen all participants not to destroy rivals.
Highly developed seven senses of hearing, sight, smell, touch, taste, equilibrium and intuitive insight. Intuitive insight includes conscience or the moral sense and this opens the person to emotional suffering.
A very high awareness of and sensitivity to beauty but not just in human form. For me it is the shape of clouds, the vivid colors of nature, smell of flowers, the movement of well defined muscles rippling under the skin of a running horse, simplicity of design, expressions of tenderness and the absence of cruelty. It is a movement away from the instinctual animal that resides in every person to the expression of the devine that also resides in every person.
Sex can distort or enlighten ones understanding of this state depending on how it is used.
Concerning gender I see myself as female in a male body but only because my energy is Yin and usually found in females not Yang an energy usually found in males. Everyone is a mixture of Yin and Yang but I'm an extreme form of Yin and society would have allowed and even encouraged this expression in a female body but actively seeks to suppress it in a male body. When I crossdress it heightens my awareness of my natural energies because I create the illusion that my body matches my energies but this was learned by living in the world and is in reaction to it. Being a GG women would bring me into acceptance and not conflict with the world because than my Yin energy is in the correct body according to historical norms. Men who crossdress but like being men have a balance between both Yin and Yang energies and men who are mostly Yang would never crossdress, the thought would never even occur to them.
I have a male roommate who is Yang with elements of Yin and he laughs everytime he see's me dressed not to be hurtful he just cannot help himself and he is actually a very kind person and are energies match very well. His wife is very Yang with very little Yin but because they are the opposite sex it works well, they balance each other.
This is totally how I feel when dressed CloserthanthisGG! Great to know that the feeling is mutual with other CD's
Last edited by Tamara Croft; 12-02-2011 at 04:36 PM. Reason: quote removed, use her name for one line of text!
Hmmm. I always wondered why Hef always wore those silky robes. Now I know.
Reine
Because I can. Love to wear hosiery and heels.
Correct me if I'm wrong. But, from what I have heard on this forum, it would matter if there were nicer male clothes that tailored to your tactile sensations. (For example, silky male boxers). The point is that you are wearing Women's clothes and presenting yourself as a woman.
I figured this was part of the excitement of being a CD...looking like a woman.
Maybe I have been wrong all along and perhaps everyone on this forum just doesn't know where to shop for better male clothes that tailor to your sensory needs.
But, I bet my bottom dollar this isn't the case
"Today a young man [...] realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration...that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively...there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the Weather.”-Bill Hicks
“What freedom men and women could have, were they not constantly tricked and trapped and enslaved and tortured by their sexuality! The only drawback in that freedom is that without it one would not be a human. One would be a monster.” East of Eden by Steinbeck
Shanan,
I wonder about the whole nice male things bit - like, if I went up to the gay lifestyle store in the city my parents live in that I remember having awesome boy underwear a few years ago, would any of that awesome clothing interest my SO? I really don't know. Maybe I should do some Christmas shopping there and find out!
My doctor said it was because a woman had my soul first and she wants it back! I've looking everywhere for that woman! So if you spot a woman walking around without a soul tell her I'll share
! Hugs!
If you don't like the way I'm livin', you just leave this long haired country girl alone:
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