One BIG step outside the closet.

[Carla Stevens]

As I've mentioned before, I'm in the closet & get very little time to dress due to living with my retired father.
I managed to get out dressed briefly last February & posted about my experience here.
The other Wednesday I again managed to get out of the house under the cover of darkness & go for a drive. I parked up & ventured out of the car to go for a walk along the beach. As I returned to the car another car came along the carpark & I was caught in the headlights, but I'm assuming that I 'passed' as they drove by.
Whilst I was enjoying being out & about, at the back of my mind was the worry of getting home before my father did.

My next step came last Saturday when I decided to visit (in male attire) Dee Selecta, a CD shop in Bolton.
I was a little apprehensive, but needn't have worried as Dee, the staff & regulars are so friendly.
I've never disscussed my dressing with anyone face to face before & it was good to talk to Dee.
I decided to book myself a make-up lesson with Dee for today as my make-up skills needed improving.

All this week I have been both excited & apprehensive about my visit as this would be the first time anyone had ever seen me dressed.
I arrived at midday & got changed.
Dee then took me through my make-up tuition. It turns out that I've not been doing too bad a job all along & I seemed to be doing things reasonably well without too many mistakes.
As we were finishing up, a few regular girls turned up to change.(Saturdays are a regular gathering at Dee's)
I donned my wig & ventured out into the shop.
This certainly feld 'odd' as this was the first time I had dressed infront of anyone.
Funny thing is, I felt so relaxed though. I suppose it's being in a safe & friendly environment.
I spent the next 4 hours chatting to Dee & some of the regulars & they all made me feel so relaxed & welcome.
I had some good compliments on my 'look' & it was helpful to get others opinions as all I ever see looking back at me in the mirror is 'me in female clothes'.
A couple of the regulars even thought that I'd 'pass' with no problems.
Before changing back into male clothes I asked for a few photos of me & as I've now been seen by others, I've decided to post some photos on this forum.
As soon as I get a chance that is.

One thing I've never been 100% happy with is my femm name (Fearne). It was a quick decision when I joined this forum, so on Dee's suggestion last week, I brought a shortlist of names along today. Everyone had a look at the list & a vote was held.

And the result was........Carla.
Assuming the mods will allow me to change my name, I'll have a new forum name.

I'm certainly glad that I've taken these steps outside my closet/comfort zone & it's helping me understand myself more & accept my other side.
Hopefully there will be no looking back.

[Melody1985]

That is a great step forward.. So let me be one of the first to say congratulations "Carla" on progressing further, and you even got a more desirable name out of it. I would say going to Dee's was a great decision for you.

Later

[Barbara Ella]

Congratulations soon to be Carla. It is wonderful what happens when you can hook up with supportive girls and get solid confidence building inputs. Amazing you made all this happen so quickly. Tear that rear view mirror down and put that heel on the gas pedal. Look forward to the pictures to see that "look." A lot of us are working toward that goal of being confident enough to go out. May never go out, but would like to feel comfortable enough in me that I could. Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience.

I too am searching for my femme name, glad you found yours

Babes

[Longing2be-Trisha]

I am so glad for you Carla! Carla is a very lovely name so enjoy it. I wish I had a group of girls to help with my transition, but I have a lot of strength to explore things on my own. The SA at cosmetic store I went to said I did pretty good with the cosmetics I had which made me happy, of coarse I had them give me a make over anyway. So you keep up the good work!

Hugs

[Carla Stevens]

I thought I'd add to this thread rather than start a new thread about today's forray out of the closet.
Appologies for no photos yet, but last weeks photos didn't turn out as well as I expected. Not Dee's fault as it was my camera & I must have had it on the wrong setting.

Well today's forray was out dressed in daylight for the first time (there's nothing like taking things slowly ) & I decided to head to Dee's again.
My father went out early, so I shaved, got part dressed in skinny jeans, bra & forms, long sleeved horizontal stripe skinny jumper & put on my make-up.
My problem would be getting to the car on the drive without being seen by the neighbours, so I put on a loose fitting fleece jacket, male trainers & sunglasses to hide my eye make-up.
I packed a holdall with my drab clothes to change back into later & put my wig, knee length grey high heel boots, scarf, gloves & girl coat ontop along with a handbag.
I shot out of the house, into the car & off down the road, hoping nobody would notice me in make-up.
I drove out of my village to a quiet road to put on my wig, boots, earings & coat.
As I was doing so, a group of joggers appeared, so I hastily drove off to another spot & finished my change into Carla.
The drive to Dee's takes about one & a half hours & I was nervous about being 'made', especially when I was stopped at traffic lights with other traffic each side of me, but all seemed to go well.
I parked up on a small residential street around the corner from Dee's & got out nervously, grabbed my holdall & tottered around the corner in my high heels (probably not very ladylike as I'm still getting used to heels).
I think Dee was suprised to see me all dressed up.
I spent another enjoyable 4 hours relaxing & chatting.
There was another new girl there who had never dressed infront of others & was very nervous, but hopefully she felt better by the end of the day.
Unfortunately the time soon ended & I had to change back into male mode.
Photos from today....sorry forgot the camera in the rush to leave the house, but will take some at home of me in the outfit I wore & post them in the Picture section ASAP.
In the meantime here is a photo of my new boots that I wore today. I bought them last Sunday from Matalan for £25.
Hope you like them:

[Cynthia Anne]

I like those boots Carla! AND THAT IS A GREAT NEW NAME! It's nice to hear you are able to get out a little and enjoy being Carla! Hugs!

[Carla Stevens]

I like those boots Carla!

Thank you.
My feet were hurting a little this morning though as I'm not used to heels. I had those boots on for over 5 hours including the drive there (I didn't realise how difficult it was to drive in heels ) & spent most of the time at Dee's on my feet.
I can't wait for my next time out.

[Jamie2]

Nice find on those boots!!!!
Now the $64.00 question, Is there a website that you know of for that store???

[Stacey Summer]

Nice find on those boots!!!!
Now the $64.00 question, Is there a website that you know of for that store???

Another UK girl! Wonderful. Matalan does indeed have a website, which is here but I'm not certain it contains their entire range. I too love those boots and I've seen some very nice ones on the website very.co.uk.

Stacey.
x

[Danika140]

Thank you.
My feet were hurting a little this morning though as I'm not used to heels. I had those boots on for over 5 hours including the drive there (I didn't realise how difficult it was to drive in heels ) & spent most of the time at Dee's on my feet.
I can't wait for my next time out.

Congrats on your wonderful outtings! I am envious of you as I have not yet worked up the nerve to venture out en femme but I am on the verge of just doing it. We'll see how long that bravado lasts lol. I usually drive barefoot as I feel like I have much more control with shifting so when I tried driving in heels once, it was nearly a costly experience lol. I am getting the hang of it slowly but I agree, it is difficult to say the least.

[Stacey Summer]

I can't drive more than a mile or so in heels, it's just too uncomfortable! I guess my feet, ankles and calf muscles are just too used to driving in shoes and trainers, lol. I often wonder how women can do it. I saw a woman the other day do an fantastic job of parallel parking (I know!) and when she got out of her car she was wearing these boots with 6" heels! I honestly did a double take and was simply gobsmacked at her ability to drive in heels I can barely walk in!

[Carla Stevens]

As Stacey said, Matalan has a website. The boots I bought are HERE & they also do them in black.
I am now feeling less uneasy when buying clothes at the stores.


EDIT: as promised, photos added to my thread in the picture section HERE.

[kimdl93]

Carla, congratulations on getting out of the safe but lonely comfort zone. Isn't it great to be able to interact with other people!? Suddenly, solitary feel like real life!