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Thread: Just thinking

  1. #1
    Junior Member Katie1991's Avatar
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    Jun 2011
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    41

    Just thinking

    Well to start in 20 years old. I joined the air force right out of highschool so I could make something out of my life. Alot of my friends will tell you I would give you the shirt off my back if you needed it, bc my belief is that the people you meet in your lifes, the people that you make an impact on are the people who judge you when you hit the pearly gates. I believe the whole world would be better if we all just lent one another a hand once in awhile. My main reason to join wasn't because of the school benefits, it truly was to make something out of my life while doing something that benigits myself and others I know.
    Now I like to dress whenever I get the chance to. I just enjoy wearing tighter cloths and feelin good while wearing them, it helps me to relax. If I could, I would be dressed all the time at home. I would like to go out eventually nut bc of my career choice, I can't. It doesn't present a professional appearance and no matter what I do, I will always look military. It's something you gain when joining.

    Now iv been thinking about what it would be like to go full time. I know I would enjoy it so much better but then again I enjoy my man side way took much. I hunt, fish, restore classic cars, play guitar, all those thing i could never throw away. It's in my blood. Also my parents would never approve seeing as they are very old fashioned people. It's something iv been thinking of and wonder how many other people are the same way as me. I will probably just keep my dressing in my home bc I don't want to be subjected to being judged without being known. It's just something I wanted to post and mabey someone will read this and mabey will know they arnt alone in the way they dress or mabey I will know I'm not alone......

  2. #2
    posh texan miaTX86's Avatar
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    Oct 2011
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    295
    Good luck to you. You are young and have time to make a final destination. Fellow AFer here too (veteran).

  3. #3
    Junior Member JoyceJ's Avatar
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    Nov 2011
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    Pac-West
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    48
    You are not alone at all. Your post resonated with me a LOT. Like you, I love both my femme and masculine sides of my personality and am done trying to suppress either side. I too feel pressures from the outside and feel compelled to stay in the closet about it. While I don't have the pressure of the military over my head, I could put my professional career at risk and I know I would break the hearts of just about everyone in my family. The closet is a safe place and what my family/work/friends don't know won't hurt them.

    However at some point, I realized that it really doesn't matter what people as a whole think about me, and who cares who's judging me? Only God has a right to judge me. I would do anything to help out others, but when it comes down to it, my loyalty is to myself. At the moment I can do both, but if I had to choose between being myself and possibly letting a family member down, it's my life and I have to love myself and hope that others can accept me.

  4. #4
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Sep 2007
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    Orange County, Calif.
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    24,894
    Katie, in or out of the service. Employed, self employed, or unemployed. Dressing is a complicated, confusing, and difficult issue for almost all of us! U R NOT ALONE!

    But, diffenitely worth the effort involved! I mite add.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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