First year it was for Halloween, then the"male model charity fashion show", then wife's birthday(no holiday needed), daughter's birthday for the huge makeup kit. But then I said, " This is SO embarrassing; I am a crossdresser and I need to find the clerk with the best fashion sense to help me." The girl up front directed me to Peggy. She was so nice I was back almost every month.
Actually if you wait and do all your yearly lingerie buying the week before Valentines day then you don't need to give excuses! All the SA will go "awwwww.... He's buying something sexy for his SO. That so sweet!!". Lol.
I like that one good job ; ) stephenie s
Last edited by brenda b smith; 12-16-2011 at 10:45 AM.
I just buy the stuff. The sales person's job is to sell it. Once a clerk made a comment about me buying a skirt and all I needed to do was to stare at her while I waited for my creditcard and package. Never said a word which made it so awkward for her.
my policy is not to say anything and let them assume whatever, i'll rarely if ever see them again
I used to fear shopping! I think as I get older I just do not care what they think but its surprising How nice many SA's are and helpful if you tell them! When I am shopping if asked about size or help I usually refer to she/her when talking about size which is me! I usually get the help I need if I want it. Depending on the shop I might tell them its for me but I do not talk about why or what I am! I agree with everyone its your money! Your story!
The strange thing is that when I am actually buying something intimate for my wife, I never have any feelings of embarrassment. I just wish I was better at maintaining that attitude when I know I am buying for me. I have had both good and bad experiences with sales clerks. One time I was buying a sun dress at a Kmart, and the clerk at the checkout counter just smiled and said, "I love that type of neckline". I just returned her smile and agreed. There was a lineup of customers behind me who all just stared off blankly. Another time, I saw an ad for some shoes on sale at Sears, and decided to buy a pair. As my size was not on the rack, I had to ask for assistance to see if there were any in stock. I pretended I was just picking up a pair for my wife who had seen the ad, but the sales clerk, a middle aged stern looking sort, acted as though I was robbing the joint. She insisted that my wife should come in to try them on, despite my telling her that my wife was unable to go in that day and had asked me to pick up a pair. I don't think she bought my story, but I wanted the shoes and didn't want to give her the satisfaction of changing my reason, as I don't think she was very obliging toward crossdressers. She finally gave in and rang them up for me. That was many years ago. Some years later, I purchased a pair of shoes at a specialty shop that sold fetish wear. I told the clerk I was a crossdresser, and she told me that she was not aware of selling anything to a crossdresser before, as their business was all for the fetish community. She was quite interested in the fact that I crossdressed and wanted to know more about it, I presumed because she felt that they could expand their sales by consciously appealing to the CD community.
It is not only buying clothing that can create awkward moments. Back when the Bionic Woman was all the rage among young girls, there was a bionic woman doll, much like a Barbie doll, that my daughter wanted for Christmas. The task of buying one fell on me, so I headed to the Toy Department of what was then Simpson's in Toronto. I needed help in finding one, as they were tucked away in an odd corner of the store. After the clerk, a youngish woman, had rung up my purchase, she handed me the doll, and in front of a crowd of shoppers waiting in line said sarcasticly "There you go, have fun". I detected a few smirks on the faces of the other shoppers, but decided to take the high road and just walked away.
Veronica
That's exactly what I do.Originally Posted by Karren Hutton
I really dont use excuses i just go with the conversation flow. Plus now i know my sizes for certain things so i just ask for it and go on my way
When buying shoes at Payless I have been able to say they are for me when asked for help. Wife doesnt want me saying that, at least when buying in town. Have not had to explain when buying pants and bras. had to return pants once, and no question asked. Am going shopping tomorrow with wife along to get some nice blouses that will fit properly (mens vs womens fitting room dilemma, not sure if i want to push that one yet), so that cover will be nice to have. Dont ask, dont tell, but if asked, I want to tell.
Babes
He (she) who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance.
- Friedrich Nietzche -
I may never get to fly like the other girls, but I do so want to dance, so I continue to climb.
I fall into the just buy category . But i remember in the early days I was nervous but now I don't care I know my size and normally what I want . "excuses " are ok. But as others say they want to make as sale and to be honest you don't know them so the problem is only in the buyers head . If people ask I just tell as in a way it's none of there business if it's for me .
I do remember though aline i used " my wife is about the same size as me but has a b or c cup "
You definitely don't need an excuse. I used to feel I had to pretend I was buying for a girlfriend, sometimes SAs would ask if I wanted a giftbox/receipt, while others just couldn't be bothered to keep up the pretense. A few SAs preempted me by asking, "anything else for YOU today?" and one even advised me that there was a sale on ladies shoes that day (she was being friendly, not sarcastic).
Despite this I was always embarrassed and would mumble a thanks before shuffling off with my head down. Finally, somewhat recently, I decided I would stop with all the ridiculous pretense that wasn't fooling anyone. I even asked to try on certain items of lingerie before purchasing and was cheerfully ushered into the changing room. On another trip to the mall recently I popped into a shoe store that specializes in very impractical shoes (everything was 50% off and I always liked their shoes) . A young pretty SA quickly bounced over to me and cheerfully asked, "so I guess you're shopping for yourself?" I shrugged and said I was. She was very interested in cross dressing, or seemed to be, and I bought a pair of 4inch black pumps.
When I first started shopping I used all the usual excuses. The more I shopped the more I noticed I was giving excuses without being asked anything. I don't even say anything now, I just get what I want, pay for it and leave. If I am asked if I could use any help, I simply state that I am fine or just browsing. they just smile and offer assistance if I need it and walk away,\.
In the beginning of my CD adventure, I would always use some silly excuse, like
"are these clothes true to size, do you think this color goes good with my skin tone, or I've been invited to a "switch party" and need something feminine to wear". Now, enjoying my feminine side and IMO, look the part without question, I buy whatever I need where ever! A few stores are more accepting and respectful than others, but it appears that many are coming on board in these tight economic times with our commnity to make more sales.
So, who needs a reason, or excuse. I have never had any sales clerk ask me who the lingerie was for. I have been asked what size am I looking for, to which I responded, about my size. Most clerks are only interested in how you are going to pay for it. Most people don't care what you are doing, as long as you are not infringing on them.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
I usually ask if she thinks it would look nice on her ( the s/a ). If she says no, I say, " Good, I'll take it".
no need to say anything.
I own zero, zip, nada, mens clothes.
I don't care if the checker really thinks that the odd 12 pack of socks or mens dress shirt in the cart is really secretly mine.
If you go into a store and behave yourself, don't tazer anyone, don't stuff an xbox under your coat, don't get into a $1.00 towel riot, do pick out your stuff even if it means asking questions, do pay for your stuff, "the TS/TG/CD that came in today or the man buying women's clothes" won't even be on the top-10 weird memorable things that happened to them in retail today.
Well, I've never needed an excuse to go shopping, since no sales lady ever played the role of gatekeeper between me and what I want.
But, if she asks who it's for I just say "me, sweetheart. got it in a size ___?"
Yeah, just pay the lady, no excuses needed. But, why may I ask would you associate dressing as a woman with being a pedophile? That's just wrong.
"And if you want some fun, sing Ob-Bla-Di-Bla-Da!"
Umm, I don't anymore. I learned some time ago that most sales people really don't care. In larger metro areas in my state, I think CD/TS shoppers are common enough that they see them often, anyway. They usually ask if I am finding everything or if I need any help. I say I am fine, and just do my shopping. I still get a little nervous every now and then, but that is decreasing with experience. Most of my experience has been that they either just wanted the sale, didn't care, or got a little smirk out of the exchange.
Anna
Last edited by Anna Lorree; 12-16-2011 at 04:00 PM.
I use the same excuse when I buy men's clothing. "I want that." (pretty much the same for anything I buy)
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
This morning my wife and I were out shopping. Usually I'll walk around looking in the store and sometimes engage the SA in a conversation about something that I'm looking for, today was no different. We were looking for a top for me to wear tomorrow night, to a party. I was looking for something cute and dressy. I was going to meet my wife in this store, and when I got there she wasn't around. So I started talking to one of the SA's for some direction where their dressy tops were located. She was cool and seemed to be interested in helping me. A little while later my wife came over to where we were at, and the SA asked her if there was something that she could to help her. My wife said that she was with me. Imagine the thoughts of the SA, she thought that was shopping for me.The look on her face was great, sometimes I'll tell them that it is for me, other times I don't. Priceless! They didn't have a top that I was interested in, but we did find one at another store.
Dana Ryan
None, not anymore. But I used to, and pretending I had a 6'2" SO was my most frequent one... LOL.
I don't use any excuse...I just find what I want, take it to the register and swipe my credit card.
No one in the last 7 years has ever asked why I'm buying lingerie or any other garments.
Besides, it's none of their business.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
I think that young lady deserved a stern reprimand from the management. I hope she gets what she deserves in life.
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