Kali, go for it, but do it because YOU want to, not JUST for her.
Someone (?) here on the forum has a tag line that goes something like this (certainly not verbatim): you will regret the things you didn't do more than for the things you did and now regret. Someone help me out here.
Kali,
Your wife is a gem. I've been 24/7 for almost eight years now, its the best.
Last edited by ArleneRaquel; 12-22-2011 at 05:41 PM.
Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years.Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady
My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty
I'm Always Rainbow Proud
I can understand this since my SO is a Dominant. She also likes me in fem mode and thinks of me as a woman when I am in her presents. However, she would never want me to go 24/7. Frankly, I'm glad. I like both sides of my duelality. it would not work for us/me. However, if this is something you both want, I see nothing wrong with it. If you accept this, I hope it works out for you both.
Mine knew of my "propensities" long before we got married. In fact, when I proposed to her I was wearing an outfit she had given me - pink bra/pantie set under a blue knit (denim pattern) peasant blouse and gauze/linen bell-bottoms (and yes the pantie showed through the pants if you looked) with suntan pantyhose (helped hide the panties) and "earth" shoes (shoes were mine)...and had just flown to Colorado from Texas dressed as such in 1976 to propose to her. Her attitude in the beginning was as long as I didn't want to BE a girl she didn't care what I wore...I was still the same person inside. She had a serious horny streak and I didn't BUT, when dressed I was a different person...one who enjoyed sex and similar activities so she set out to keep me dressed as often as possible. She was the one who pursued the Dr for our anniversary and when he found the med study she encouraged me/Dr to get me on it. She was the one who enjoyed my developing breasts. She was the one who suggested I transition (work forced it but thats a different story) and she was the one who requested I transition back 4 years later. Some women just like fem men and some will do what ever to keep their men horny...if that means making a girl out of him then so be it. I know I enjoyed it...
Jenn
You need pursue it on your terms but it is nice that you have the support you have.
You need to be sure your ready. Only you know what's going on in your mind and you should follow your heart.
No matter what your sisters here at cross dressers are routing you onx
Tread carefully... what is she really wanting? This smacks of a game play... she is making a move to test where you are... Think it through!
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
We've been together 9 years, marrried 6 months; she was well aware of all this before she agreed to marry me. I really don't think it's a game.Originally Posted by Kaz
Quite an opportunity to experience being a woman 24/7 with the full support of your wife is indeed a rare thing. If you really enjoy dressing and she wants you to dress all the time with minor excepts for immediate family, it sounds good for everyone. Should try it and see where it goes. All the best.
Cindy
good luck and I hope all goes well, keep us posted.
I sure hope all of this is true, and that everything works out for you.
exactally what i was thinking! My wife loves to test me.. Just to see how serious about it I am..
Joann
Why don't you just tell her that you will move forward as YOU feel comfortable and you will let her know when and if you want to appear in public dressed.
Is it really up to her to decide? I mean, if you do not go out in public dressed, will she leave you?
In terms of defining where you are along the gender spectrum, this is hard to do, since you only have your own feelings as a reference point and you do not know how women or other men feel in order to compare. So the best solution is to go with whatever feels comfortable to you. If you enjoy going out fully dressed (and possibly being read according to your description of yourself), that's fine. If you enjoy the experiences and decide later on that you identify more as a female and you want to present this way full time, that's fine too. And beyond this, should you decide in the future that you want SRS, then you can deal with it when it comes up. But all along the journey, you need to do what is comfortable to you and not your wife.
Ultimately the determinant of who you are along the gender spectrum will be based on what you do and how YOU choose to live, more than who you think you are based on not having tried anything. But, a word of caution. If you love the idea of being forced to do something like this (even if it is gently forced and even if you feel nervous), I think it is an indication that you are more a fetish CDer than someone who is destined to live life as a woman because of gender identity.
Last edited by ReineD; 12-23-2011 at 02:53 PM.
Reine
This isn't about being forced to move forward. she really feels that she is giving me what I want (we continue to discuss). It isn't "do this or else" situation. everything, from shaving to appearing ion public presenting as female, is up to me. She is just a very systematic, organized peerson, and I truly believe that if thiswas her set of issues, this is how she would organize her life.
As far as being a fetish CD, can you be a fetish CD if thre is no sexual component to dressing in female presentation?
Sorry Kali, I may have misunderstood your original post. I was under the impression you weren't quite ready to do this, but you were considering it based on nothing other than your wife's request.
This is why I was thinking "forced" rather than "voluntary".
If this is what you want to do, then by all means, go ahead!
Reine
OMG you are so lucky to have a wife that accepts this side of you and actually wants more of you as Kali. I would be nervous too! But I would definately take her up on it and see where it goes.
What I mean is - this sounds like some kind of a version of 'forced feminization'. A lot of CD's love this kind of thing and dream about it. A woman bossing you around and demanding that you become more femme. What could be better than that? The only problem is - it almost NEVER happens in real life.
Wow you have a hot wifey. Sounds to me like she wants you to be a girlfriend both in and out of bed. Sooo hottt. Why not, girl? I'd die to be in your heels! *sigh...*
My wife likes a feminine (male) partner and when we first got married she was very much pushing the "girly boy look" whereas I was all new to pushing the envelope of feminine expression (especially in public), so I totally get the idea that you might be balking at some of the suggestions or expectations of your wife. I myself, when it happened to me, was quite scared but having her with me at my side (or should that be me being at her side?) made things so much easier. It only feels like it does because you are not used to feeling emasculated. Once you get used to being what I think of as "little" "sweet" and "girly" ... but a feminized male to everyone else who sees you, you will feel better and before you know it you being girly will be a cornerstone of your relationship, and your fully en femme persona will really come out from the shadows and you life will be more fulfilled because of it ... or that's to say, that's how it was for me. Oh, and BTW for anyone who's wondering, yes my wife is an assertive woman who likes to be in charge.
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The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
Just as additional points of referene, I have been dressing just about every day for almost the last three years. My wife is a director-level executive at her company; I work form home, though I am very successful in my career, as well. But , for the most part I've been her housewife this entire time. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning.
So this isn't a test of my being dressed; I already get up earlier than she does, dress, fix breakfast, etc. It's a push, among other things, to be more open and social about this and to develop new sets of more understanding friends and aquaintances.
And we would both be happy if I lost more weight
Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One spoonful at a time...
This is an interesting situation. I guess there's a fine line between "forced" and someone being "assertive".
As far as feeling "better", I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean by that.
I meant that in the beginning, still being dressed as a male (albeit an androgynous one) and having all the things that Kali says she will have (makeup, nails etc) and going out in public and/or having friends and acquaintances see you like this can be a little bit "difficult" at first and you might feel and little bit shy or uncomfortable, but soon you will feel better as it will become easier and you'll get used to it and enjoy it more. It's like you want to do this anyway, but you just can't bring yourself to do it on your own. There's a fine line between fantasy and reality. You need and "assertive push" from someone you love and trust (one's wife in my and Kali's case) to take to where you want to be.
.
The River City Gems - Northern California's largest and most active crossdressing & transgender support group!
I think you've just described every CD's ultimate dream. I guess some part of this depends on how "manly" (not sure if I'm using the right term here) you are to start out with....and just how badly you actually want live out your femme desires in real life. Do you mean that you have makeup, nails, etc. in guy mode all the time?
What a wonderful outcome. My SO told me today when she drops off the kids with their father that I am to dress up fully, make-up and all, and we are having fun. Now if we venture outside the walls of our happy home, then so be it. Merry Christmas to all by the way. My children will be coming home after my SO and I have had our fun and they are finish with that side of the family. We can kick off our Christmas hang out as a united family afterwards. But only after I get undressed from my fem clothes. Lol.
Formerly CDGigi
After reading your posts carefully, it sounds like this is something you want to do, but are a little overwhelmed by. Ease into it girl. I also like the suggestion of doing it 24/7 for a little while and then re-evaluating. Hair grows back and makeup can be taken off. I would say though that if you do decide to transition, you will have to tell the kids at some point.
The part that makes me happiest is that your wife truly loves you and cares a LOT about your happiness. It sounds to me like you are happiest living as a girl, so go for it!
The low points in my life have taught me one certainty:
Life is far too short to be living it at anything less than 100%. Dont worry about passing. You dress because it makes you happy, not because its socially acceptable. If we all dressed by society's standards, then there wouldn't be any TG/TS/TVs to begin with.
You are a very lucky girl to have such a loving and and supportive wife. Hugs and love dear.
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