Do we live up to stereotypes?

[Lorileah]

Do we live up to stereotypes?

The other night I was at a bar and there was a woman who was a little …OK she was drunk and loud. She knew she was and she told everyone, “I can’t help it I am Sicilian.”

I thought, “Of course you can help it. You don’t have to be loud and obnoxious.” But I started thinking that many of us buy into stereotypes because they make good excuses or for other reasons.

I am blonde but I am not daffy usually, but I can put on that mask. I have German heritage and yes I have a temper, but I have learned to keep it under some control. But is that genetic or heritable or just who I am? Would I be more laid back if I were Tibetian?

In this forum, we see the questions always asked about things that have been placed upon the TG community. They have been discussed many many times and you know the standard answers. We state that we cannot be put into boxes and then suddenly we turn and do the same thing. How do women walk? What is age appropriate clothing? Should you do this and that? All things that are actually stereotyped behaviors.

There is not one walk, There is the exaggerated “Catwalk” models do (and the ubiquitous YouTubes of them falling down). There is venue appropriate clothing (and some may disagree on this too but the woman in “Hot For Teacher” would not hold a job in any school) but age? Maybe onesies are not age appropriate for anyone here.

But do we buy the behavior? Do we believe that “if”-then”? Do you feel that you are required to act in a certain manner because of age, heritage, demographics, clothing?

[SusanMarie]

Well...sort of...
My thoughts are that people are social beings by nature ....who like to think they are independent thinkers.
Sometimes we color inside the lines and sometimes we color outside the lines.
I like having the choice.

[Nikki A.]

I don't look at it as a requirement, but let's face it, if you're looking to blend in and not create attention you do need to make some changes to your walk in that women don't (usually) walk like lumber jacks. Samme thing with clothes, you dress for the occasion.
Of course if you're looking for the attention that's another story.

[Miranda-E]

I think a lot of crossdressers work really hard to live up to the stereotype.
That fake looking runway walk takes a lot practice and it takes effort to always look for the shortest skirt available.

[DebbieL]

I think the real challenge for us is being "Situation Appropriate". A situation is a combination of time, place, and people.
Dressing like a cheap hooker at the church pledge drive and then trying to "pass" - probably not situation appropriate.
Showing up at a charity fund raiser in a little black dress with black heels and black hose - might actually work.
But if it's a Republican TEA Party fund raiser - probably not.

Going to a bar in a short skirt, red satin blouse, and 3 inch heels might work.
But if it's a biker bar 4 blocks from the State Prison, maybe not.

Wearing boots over jeans at the local shopping mall with a wig and make-up - would probably work.
Wearing boots over jeans downtown as the church is letting out - with no wig and no make-up - probably not.

Wearing a 3 piece suit and a Rolex to the board meeting - would work.
Wearing a 3 piece suit and a Rolex to the skid row homeless shelter - at 3 AM - probably not such a good idea.

Wearing a blond wig when you have fair skin and light colored eyebrows and your relatively thin - will probably work.
Wearing a blond wig when you have dark skin, black bushy eyebrows, and a dark 5-o'clock shadow - doesn't work.

Being the most beautiful girl in a Lesbian bar, or Gay bar - might get you the notice you want.
Being the most beautiful girl in the entire shopping mall, diner, and worship service - might get you noticed in ways that aren't so good.

Formal or Miniskirt to the KKK rally? - What the heck are you doing at a KKK rally!!

[StevieTV]

I'm a small boned GM and I have no interest or desire to "swagger walk" like a man. I do practice walking heel to toe because I prefer to walk that way. I dress to blend in although some of today's fashion choices are not my style or age appropriate. I have an English background so I do like my tea and enjoy Boxing Day. Besides that, like Popeye says "I am what I am".

[Vickie_CDTV]

Culturally, us Sicilians do tend to be rather "expressive", not sure I would agree with that woman and say "obnoxious"... but we do tend to be rather expressive. (Men from southern Italy tend to use a lot of hand gestures when they talk, for example, and it is something I have learned to do too. It drove my former girlfriend of Northern Irish descent crazy!)

GGs do walk differently then men, partially because of their anatomy (they chests and hips are bigger and they have a different center of gravity than men.) The catwalk thing is pretty silly, but there is a physiological difference, and that is something some need to learn to emulate in order to pass; a GG as big as I am will certainly walk differently than a male of the same size.

[Cheryl T]

Do you feel that you are required to act in a certain manner because of age, heritage, demographics, clothing?

No, I certainly don't. I don't dress my age, I dress how I feel and how I want to feel. I don't try to look 20, but I certainly don't want to look like an old lady, because I don't feel old and because I don't like the clothes that are designed with that stereotype in mind. I don't dress for others at all. I'm me and that's who I dress for.
I have a friend who's always using that "I'm blonde" statement (as a joke of course), but I don't feel I need to dress or act in a particular way because of who I am and what my background is.

[Jilmac]

If acting ladylike is a stereotype, then every time I dress and go out, I'm living up to the stereotype.

[PretzelGirl]

I think the variety of what we see in each of us says that we don't have one singular perception. But there certainly are stereotypes presented from some of us. It probably comes down to the desire and the drivers of the person. I feel I just want to be me in femme form. I don't want to feel like I am forcing something. It should be natural and enjoyable.

[sissystephanie]

I don't think I live up to any type of stereotypes. I have always dressed to please myself, or when she was still alive my dear late wife. I don't walk or talk like a lady and never will. I am a man, and have no desire to actually be a woman. Never have had that desire, I just like to dress like one. When I do dress enfemme I enjoy it, and that is all that counts!

[wendy360]

Many times I think we are our worst enemy. I like how Lorileah put it "venue appropriate" I like sort skirts to a club but not the local transgender meeting.
Something one of my daughters said a while back, she questioned why so many cross dressers wear such large breast forms. She commented it doesn't look natural

I think a lot of crossdressers work really hard to live up to the stereotype.
That fake looking runway walk takes a lot practice and it takes effort to always look for the shortest skirt available.

Miranda
I have to disagree. It takes very little effort to shop at Forever 21 and find the shortest skirt available.

[sometimes_miss]

Working in a predominantly female field, I'm automatically assumed to be gay unless proven otherwise. So I fight that stereotype by being very, very careful NEVER to display ANY feminine characteristics. None. Never any word about what other guys wear. Never any word about female fashions. Never. Never at all. And when I'm out in public somewhere, anywhere that someone might see me, I make very certain that I don't get caught even looking in a woman's clothing store window. I know people will think it's stupid. But there are so many women who think we're gay and just in denial that all I can hope for is to remain within the 'possible' group of guys when they consider dating.

[Miranda09]

Basically, I'll act or behave in a certain manner because it is what I want to do and how I want to behave. I will say that when I get dressed, I will change my walk, but not because it's how a woman is supposed to walk, it's because it's the way I feel, and I've observed women who, when they are feeling good and confident have a very different style of walk and behavior to those that don't necessarily feel that way. I've never accepted the excuse for behavior on the basis of whatever their background is, their profession, or any other excuse, tho I will concede that your upbringing and childhood can have a profound effect. As for dress and behavior, I'm closing in on 60 (yikes) but that doesn't mean I have to act or behave in the way a stereotypical 60 year old should behave or dress. Somehow, I think common sense is the key.....or am I being to simplistic??

[Samantha B L]

I model certain aspects of my fem self and my dressing from many stereotypes but I'm having fun and I really don't care. This is one of several things I do with myself and my time instead of other stuff which is supposed to be manly like sports and outdoors stuff. Of course,it is important not to get too caught up with closely imitating stereotypes on an all the time basis. Like overdoing an impersonation or something.

[Shananigans]

I wonder about the "age appropriate" things, as well. But, it was on the forum that I saw threads that were like, "Well, I'm 65...but, my girl-self is just a 14 year old."

Hmmmm....

What stereotype is that? I summed it all up to mid-life and late-life crises. My SO and I found it funny. But, I don't know who would get the last laugh if he showed up to our bedroom with crows feet and liver spots, whole informing me he
is 20 when he puts on eyeliner.

There are too many stereotypes to cover. I think CDs feed into the feminine stereotypes and then become kind of a stereotype themselves, but...whaddaya gonna do? You just have to catch yourself and laugh sometimes. If I catch my SO living up to a mid-life crisis CD stereotype, I hope we'll both stop, laugh, and appreciate the realization.

[DonniDarkness]

Do you feel that you are required to act in a certain manner because of age, heritage, demographics, clothing?

At the end of the day does it matter?

If wearing eyeliner makes one feel like they have drank from the fountain of youth, then wear it....and let the rest of us borrow some of that magic pencil. Stereotypes only become demeaning when people cant move past them to see the unique individual standing before them

As people, humans.... social primates... it is only natural that we do the things we do by associating the actions, visual representations and social behaviors of our peers (or) who we aspire to be. But the way we come up with these stereotypes that we embrace for ourselves is based on how we perceive ourselves as individuals.....

-Donni-