When I first started dressing, I wanted more and more. I think it's a normal progression for some, if not most.
It's quite easy to put off plans, just to stay home and dress up, especially if you feel it's becoming addictive.
Loving your man life, is good. The trick is to find balance, and not let the dressing interfere with the things you want to do as a man.
If you've made plans, enlist your wife's help so you can keep those plans.
Eventually, you'll find that balance.
DonnaT
There's always the risk that spending too much time enfemme might start taking its toll on your wife, and she may start yearning for the man part of you. Although it sounds like she's all for it, and encourages it....just be cautious about the amount of time you devote to dressing. You just have to find that happy balance that is right for both of you.
"Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"
Hi
Your story is getting a lot of attention because it is sort of the reverse of what many (most?) of the married members experience. It seems to be much more common for the wives to not accept that their husband’s have a feminine side and want to dress en femme, so when someone comes on the forum and says their wife actually encourages their dressing it is enough of a rarity to garner some attention and a lot of jealousy – we would all love to have an actively supporting wife.
A fair number of members have written that you should let your wife lead, let her set the pace, and that is good advice as far as it goes. Yes it is important that your wife, even though she actively supports your dressing, feels comfortable with where this is going and the pace it is going. More important however is that you feel comfortable with where this is going and the pace at which it is progressing.
As you wrote, this is all new to you and you love your male persona, but you also enjoy your female persona. You are most likely going to experience a roller coaster ride of emotional feelings and that is completely normal. Most of us discovered our feminine feelings on our own, some at quite a young age, and they developed over the years and even though it was a gradual thing it was still quite emotional and I think the vast majority of us had difficulties.
I’m 68 and I wanted to be a girl when I was four or five, starting dressing in my teens, really got into it in my twenties, so I have a lot of years of dressing behind me. Still I was confused enough that early this year I told my Doctor that I had a gender issue and she sent me to a Counselor, who after a two-hour session referred me to the Psychiatric Dept. and a Therapist. Some questions have been answered, others surfaced and my Therapist is now trying to decide if I’m a Crossdresser or a Transsexual. My Wife is not actively supportive, not fully accepting, maybe tolerant is a better word, she tolerates my dressing around the house on a limited basis (like one day a week) and says she is embarrassed if I go out and I try to respect my Wife’s feelings. I think she may be more tolerant than many of the member’s wives and for that I’m thankful. But my Therapist wants me to dress more, go out more because she feels that it is important for my own mental health. I’m my Therapist’s patient, not my wife, so my mental health comes first in her eyes; if my wife is depressed by my dressing then she should see a Therapist of her own. With an actively supporting wife there may be times when you don’t feel comfortable with where this is going and it is important that you remember that YOU need to feel comfortable on this journey – don’t go where you don’t feel comfortable – it is alright to slow down, stop, and think about the path that lies ahead.
Babs
Sammy,
Once I started crossdressing there was no going back, I love how it makes me feel and my personality has found a new calm at the same time a high that is wonderful! I still am a male in day to day life, But inside and when time allows dressing up gives me just a wonderful feeling and joy. It is something I look forward to doing. I am married and told my wife after 2o years of marrigae and I am so lucky she has accepted, not embraced but honesty is so much of what a loving relationship is all about. I do not know how your wife started you on this path, but I am guessing it was a part of you before for you to jump in and enjoy it! Best wishes to you and your spouse, Find your comfort level and hers and enjoy it for all it provides you both! Lucky Girl.
Brenda
Wow....some very nice stories and great advice all around. Wish I had time to sit and talk to every single one of you and hear all the stories. Ia lot of you keep asking for the story. I will post it soon to share with all of you. Thank you again everybody.
It's all new and exciting to you. For me, it's been around for a long, long time. And while I still get excited at the prospect of spending some time en femme, it's not the gnawing, gotta do it kind of thing it once was. Well, mostly. I still get the overwhelming urge to dress quite often. But I've learned to temper it by making sure I'm taking care of my obligations first. The pink fog you're experiencing right now will lessen. Like others have said. Follow your wife's lead, and you'll likely be fine. Enjoy it. That's why we do this...because it's enjoyable.
Any money found in the laundry is MINE!
"This is no social crisis....this is me having fun!"
www.flickr.com/photos/tgmarla/
Just be honest. .
Hey Girl, I too had always wanted to dress and played a little of the years but it wasn't until I met my Wife that things got going! She knew of my desires to "play" some as we were best friends before we dated. One eveing we were going out to dinner and she was painting her nails, I asked if I could do them for her and made the comment that if I was ever able to wear polish it would be a color like this (dark mauve) After I was done she said "take off your shoes and socks, we have to match" I was so happy! That was 8 years ago, and from then, to today we always wear the same color on our toes 24/7/365! Among many other things that we do to match.....Life is good!
I love Jesus!
Life is so much better now that I know who I am !
just go with it you dont know how luckie you are
Welcome to the club.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
just go with it you dont know how luckey you are
Sammy, there are a few us here who are intrigued by your comment tha your wife started your cross-dressing, and that you are now wanting to know more... This is so unusual that it would be really helpful to tell us more about this!Originally Posted by sammysaenz
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
Good advice. You should find out why she started the whole thing. If it was just for a momentary change of pace, it may have a negative impact on her if it snowballs into a change in lifestyle.
If it bothers you and you think she is to blame you better quiit and give her my number. Hehehehe just kidding. Have fun..
There is only one thing I would suggest, always be sure you are not taking to much time away from your male obligations, making sure you are not dressing so much as to make her uncomfortable, that balance is important to the wife usually, but since she started it, talk to her, maybe she has a higher threshold for it. I just came off a 4 day binge of dressing, and my wife is fine with it, others wouldn't be.
Tina B.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
It's very normal. Since you enjoy it, naturally you want to do it again, maybe even for a longer period of time
Indeed Kaz, I also would be very interested in knowing more on how your wife got you interested in something you have never had any prior interest in. Would make for some great reading.
Last edited by jillleanne; 12-27-2011 at 08:56 AM.
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