Really? ... Really?

[GBJoker]

Mods, if this is a bad place to post this thread, feel free to move/delete it. Also, this thread is rated... PG13?... PG16. Discretion is advised.

Main Topic;

Really? Seriously? Okay, look, I know this is a forum website all about the entire spectrum of transgenderism, and obviously, dedicated sections to all the various aspects of it; clothes, make up, hair, loved ones ("SOs"), and more private sections for GGs, GMs, etc. I found this site almost two years ago and "lurked" on it for a year and a half until I got up the nerve to make an account and start trying to make friends, and more importantly, just talk about random topics. I'm doing my best to leave my opinions and emotions out of all threads on this forum in order that I may provide the most help I can offer to any random person I bump into, because, obviously, there's gonna be a day when I need help for stuff. Like that evil, horrible, downright cruel thing called "make up."

So I am forced to wonder, why are there so many threads outside of the "Loved Ones" section, and maybe the GM/GG sections about sex, or so many that simply disolve into talking about sex? Clearly, the board does not currently have 50 or more percent of its threads concerning sex, but I estimate the figure to be around 15 to 25 percent, it seems. I saw a thread last month or so wondering if any one has ever "done it" while dressed, and another thread discussing fantasies concerning the transgendered spectrum. And of course, there has been at least two threads so far in the main Crossdressing Section asking seemingly, oh, how can I put this, "sophmoric (sp)" questions about sexuality. I can understand the issues concerning sex when it comes to all out transsexualism, or transvestitism, since the former deals with how one might be having sex in the future, and the latter is a sex fetish, but I do not comprehend how sex is a factor in any other subject. (Personally, I'm still failing to comprehend why it's in the "Loved Ones" section, really.)

I admit, I most likely have the strongest bias towards this subject of all the members of the forum. I am a virgin; I've never been kissed even, or gone on a date with either gender. I joined an InCel site, and it was horrible. Every member, of both sexes, just sat around complaining about being InCels. I left within a week. But I never talked to them about crossdressing or physics, for example. Also, I'm just not comfortable talking about it. The topic bothers me deeply, I don't like it. Why? I don't know; maybe because I'm an InCel, maybe because of past experiences, who knows. The point is, I didn't join this site to talk about sexual topics. I feel extremely uncomfortable responding to any thread, because it just feels like every one eventually ties back into it. The only thing I can even think of for why I'm so bothered by it is because I don't understand it. And as we all know, humans tend not to like things they don't understand.

Look, I'm not venting, or ranting. I'm trying to start a dialogue of sorts. Thus far, the site has been helpful in one or two ways, but I'm just really wanting to get the full information on this one aspect of my life, and more importantly, only this one aspect, from this website. When it comes to the topic of transgenderism, I've done virtually all of the psychological research, the biological research, and now I'm just left with opinions from various peoples. I want to stay on the site, but some days, it's just really hard to force myself back on here. I mean, I think I've made one or two "sort of" friends here already, so, I don't want to just suddenly up and leave.

Should I just start making judgement calls based on the name and topic of a random thread, or do I start severly localizing my activities? Any other thoughts, opinions, etc?

PS: Always feel free to PM the Joker. Maybe I should just make that my sig... Hmm...

[Melody1985]

Hmmm.. In my opinion, this site doesn't involve sex talk hardly at all. Maybe I have just seen quite a few other sites that focused primarily on sex to the degree that it makes this site seem rated "G".

I would imagine that your concern has alot to do with having no intimacy to this point of your life.. But then again, some people just dont put much weight on sex. That's fine, but I seriously don't see alot of sex talk, and if any, it's very minimal and indirect. Either way, you can just not pay attention to those posts. To be honest, their are posts that I skip after the first read sentence. No one is forcing you to read a thread or a post.

If people want to talk about this though, it's truly their prerogative. Where else can CDers talk to other CDers about these topics.. Not every one is in therapy or groups.

Good topic though!

[Imeni]

I suppose, since I'm waiting in a queue just to play my online game, I have more than enough time to post on this topic.

Ive been lurking this here website for six months, maybe up to a year. I honestly don't remember. Out of all the posts that I've read in the General Thread, and I stick there due to bordem, mostly, and alot of these threads are a great way to cure that for a few minutes, I don't ever recall ever seeing a topic on sex. Ever. Maybe they get moved, or flagged and disposed of. There are alot of talk about Significant Others, potentially ruined marrigaes and or those who decided to take a big step going out in the world. (Kudos for them).

But if you want an honest answer, I have no idea what an InCel is. I will go look after I make this post. But life, for those who choose to have sex as part of their adult life, everything revolves around it. Everything. Men expect it, Women use it for leverage. Both usually enjoy it. Hell, even for a crossdresser, just wearing a dress can be full of so much raw emotion that it either vents off as such or they are simply aroused by something taboo. All I can really tell you is, if you live a certain way and choose to do so, good for you for making such a strong, personal decision. But the rest of the world has not. Most of the world has not. And as you'll come to notice about alot of people, they are gonna do what they want and don't care who it hurts. Especially on the internet.

[Miranda-E]

I'm doing my best to leave my opinions and emotions out of all threads on this forum

doesn't seem like it

I admit, I most likely have the strongest bias towards this subject of all the members of the forum. I am a virgin; I've never been kissed even, or gone on a date with either gender.

Did you just put details about your sex life in a rant about posts mentioning sex lives?

[Julogden]

For a lot of CD's, dressing is a very sexual activity and sex is the main reason they dress, but to be honest, I have't seen all that much sexual content here. I wouldn't be hanging around here if the focus here was heavily sexual, as that's not my reason for dressing, and I've been here quite a while.

Carol

[Karren H]

If I remember correctly... Sex was very over rated any way!! I think! I should have been a nun!

[Imeni]

If I remember correctly... Sex was very over rated any way!! I think! I should have been a nun!

Karen, hun, who are you kiddin'? You're simply to gorgeous to not be yourself. Don't make the world suffer, which if would if you left us. <3

[Jane G]

[QUOTE=GBJoker;2700714] I'm doing my best to leave my opinions and emotions out of all threads on this forum QUOTE]

Don't kid your self girl. Your entire post is filled with opinions and stong emotions. Try to take a step back, let life come to you for a little while and stop reading post if you find they contain things that offend you. There is far more laughing and joking and fun interaction to be had on this site, than talk about sexual matters, so focus on those threads.

Just try to chill a little.

[Stephenie S]

Uhh, sex? What's that?

S

[jillleanne]

Yes, start making judgement calls and that will allow you to become interactive here as well as on Call of Duty( I'm guessing at that one).

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi JBJ, There's aways that little red box with an (X)
in the upper right hand corner of your monitor.

Orchid

[Sally24]

Considering the topics here I actually am surprised how little sex talk there is here. I'll give the advise I always give to people who complain about topics. FILTER! You don't have to read every post. Pick.and choose which ones to read and which to respond to. I love the breadth of information and discussions on this forum. It's one of the first things I noticed. And yes I agree that since you have no first hand knowledge of any kind involving intimate interactions with others you are oversensitive to the topic. I would be more concerned with your lack of socialization than the amount of sex topics on this forum.

[Pamela Kay]

I had always lurked on sites and never joined because many of them were based on sex or were just plain nasty. I lurked on this site for about 2 or 3 weeks and then joined because it obviously wasn't that way. It was a group of people with a common interest that had honest and clean discussions and was truly interested in helping others. Humans are sexual creatures whether we want to deny it or not. Anytime you start discussing things dealing with gender and crossing historically or socially defined gender lines the subject of sex is going to come up if you talk about it long enough. Wearing clothes that are "sexy" or telling someone they look "sexy" in a forum on crossdressing, transgender, or transexual issues is far from dwelling on sex in my opinion.

I have learned very quickly on this site that gender and sex or sexual orientation are two different subjects. It's also easy to get caught up in the "labels", whether your InCel, CD, Transgender, Transexual, etc., etc., you are you and only you can say who and what you are. I am still figuring that out myself but this site has helped me considerably.

No one reads every thread on here, that's why they are broken out into different sections. Read the ones that interest you and ignore the one's that don't. As the old saying goes, "it wouldn't be much fun if we all thought the same way".

[BRANDYJ]

In all the threads I have read, sex is not mentioned often. And when it is mentioned, it usually is in context to the OP's question, opinion or topic. But it is always in good taste and never pornographic or to graphic. I can't think of any other site for us that are transgendered at any level, where the topic of sex in inappropriate. We have the best moderators and administrators collect at one site that make good calls when things might get to graphic.
I agree with the thought that you are a virgin that prompted this post to begin with. I'm sorry that you don't like ANY talk of sex and felt a need to make it known to us. But really, I think it is you that has the problem and not the few members that posted anything sexual. Sorry OP, you are in a very small minority in a few ways here. But as others have said, there is the X key in the upper right hand corner of your screen. But to be fair, I sometimes see threads I don't like too. But I just go to another thread more to my liking.

[Marleena]

@Joker you simply need to read or involve yourself only with what you feel comfortable with here. I see very little dealing with sex here other than one's sexual persuasion or where they fit into the sexual realm of things ( TG/TS/CD,etc.).

I lurked for awhile here before deciding to join after I felt it was safe to do so. I am not looking for sex or dating like many of the similar sites out there are only about. This is one incredibly clean site based on the topics it deals with.

[Cynthia Anne]

One of the great things in life is we all have the freedom to choose! Sometimes a subject comes up here that I myself don't want to comment on! Damn, I have the freedom to choose! Sex talk here is at most pg rated! And that is on the worst days!
I will not judge another but I have to wonder if perhaps the problem may be that someone is feeling sorry for themselves for missing out on a very rewarding and natrual asspect of life! Many a times when one complains about somthing it's because they feel left out! FREEDOM TO CHOOSE!!! Hugs!

[Tamara Croft]

I would like you to make a list of sexual threads and post the links here, because threads of an explicit sexual nature are NOT allowed on this board, so unless you are talking about threads that have very little sexual content that is permitted, I think you're blowing things way out of proportion...

[Barbara Ella]

Really!!!

What we notice the most is usually what we are concerned with the most.

I don't find this site overly sexed up, the reason I joined here. the man/woman dichotomy is sexual in nature, and our embracing of the feminine side and expressing it the only way we can, by dressing, and acting out must have a sexual component regardless of the level of involvement. I have only been a member a little over a month, but am very happy with the balance here.

OH Karren, would the sisters let you carry a hockey stick in your habits??? Hugs

Babes

[Aprilrain]

WTF is an InCell?? and WTF does it have to do with CDing and physics??
girl you need to get laid!

[PretzelGirl]

Well, first for all, Google tells me InCel is Involuntary Celibacy.

GBJoker, I am guessing that this is a matter of perception. If you are celibate, you may find that sex discussion is very limited in your life. So for many others, we could have some talk here and it just fits into the daily discussion where is may be a lot to you. It isn't too much or over the top to us. And there are a few that I see the beginning of and move to the next thread. That is because I am not interested and just move on. There is no way for the board to completely sort out every possible topic, it would be a monumental task. So you have to exercise your choice to read or not read a given thread. And if you think that there are sexual topics here, then you will probably have more of a problem with just about any other site out there for Crossdressers. This one is intentionally (Thank you!) toned down.

Uhh, sex? What's that?

Isn't it right after five?

[Melissa_Ky]

InCel is involuntary celibacy. GBJoker is not ranting about too much sex in her life. She is ranting about NONE in her life and not by her choosing it that way.

GBJoker, I hope you can get more involved here and that you will feel welcome and comfortable. There is really not that much direct talk about sex and what little there is can be skipped. I hope the New Year brings you happiness and intimacy.

Melissa

[sandra-leigh]

Context: in the past, GBJoker has said that discussions of sex make her nauseous and upset her greatly (e.g., has to leave the room if people start discussing sex or even joking about it.) I would speculate that she is sensitive even to allusions and undertones that the majority of people would not pay attention to.

I have some sympathy, but I do not know that anything can realistically be changed.

[Raychel Torn]

Joker,

Thanks for sharing your feelings. I don't think anyone on this site should feel that they should keep emotions out of their posts. This site is all about sharing and that means your feelings and ideas. Now as to the sex issue. While there are a number of posts that have something to do with sex, I would hope that this is true. A very large number of us are in relationships with SO and many of us would like to be if we are not. Many good supportive relationship will have some sexual element to it and that sexual part of the relationship is often in some way effected by CD'ing. Sometimes it is a good effect and other time a bad one. Either way we are here to share our emotions and experiences with each other and that includes the "privet" ones.

I hope that you will be able to see that we are dealing with each other as whole people that that will include our sexuality in many cases. As we move on, I hope that you will be able to see that we can respect your non-sexual persona and only ask that you respect our more sexual lives. It will be good to get your perspective on our situation and hear more about your feelings as we move along.

[Barbra P]

Hi Joker

Let me say state at the outset that I am not intending to disrespect (diss) or put you down in any way but I’ve been on this site virtually every day since I joined back in May and I’m not detecting the same level of sexual content that you are. I’ve run across a few sexually explicit posts, and a few from new members seeking sexual partners, but both the threads and the new members quickly disappear thanks to the wonderful moderators here. While gender identification and sexual preference don’t necessarily have any direct connection, and one does not necessarily influence the other, one generally brings to mind the other. Regardless of the subject matter certain words and phrasing have a sexual connotation and will invariably raise thoughts of a sexual nature in the minds of healthy adults of both sexes.

“I've already essentially come out of the closet about both being T and being a bisexual.” That quote is from you in your introductory thread, where you quite obviously disclose your sexual preference – bisexual. You could simply have stated that you were out of the closet, or been more precise and said you were out of the closet as a TG, but you chose to include the fact that you also regard yourself as being bisexual – clearly sexual in nature. But in this current thread you state “I am a virgin; I've never been kissed even, or gone on a date with either gender” and “The topic [sex] bothers me deeply, I don't like it. Why? I don't know; maybe because I'm an InCel, maybe because of past experiences, who knows.” That raises the question of how you know you are bisexual, and what past experiences could you possibly be referring to if you haven’t even been kissed by either gender?

You further state “I joined an InCel site, and it was horrible. Every member, of both sexes, just sat around complaining about being InCels. I left within a week. But I never talked to them about crossdressing or physics, for example. Also, I'm just not comfortable talking about i.” and I’m not sure what you mean by “it”, Celibacy, Crossdressing, Physics? I can understand why a group that is all about Involuntary Celibacy would be talking about sex as celibacy is all about not having sex whether it is voluntary or involuntary, and I don’t really see a connection between crossdressing and celibacy so I don’t see any reason why you would discuss crossdressing with an InCel group.

Could it be that there isn’t too much sexual content on the forums but you are imagining sexual content where none was intended?

[Badtranny]

Joker I think you might be referring to some of the silliness that goes on, but talking about actual sex?

I personally would love to see a grown up discussion about adult sexuality. Trans people have a unique experience and it would be nice to be able to talk about things without it devolving into something vulgar. For that matter, it would be nice to have substantive discussions about religion or politics without people getting red faced.

People are losing the ability to debate so instead of encourage it, we just fill in the space with shopping and panties.