Competition amongst us gurls or...?

[Foxglove]

It's true there are some beautiful girls on this forum, and sometimes I'm envious. But I don't get my knickers in a twist about it, and I don't feel that I'm in any competition. What I'd like to learn from them is how they did it, and then maybe I could do it, too. I want to look as good as I can, and if it's not as good as others, I can live with that. Beautiful girls give me something to aim for, not to compete with.

[Claire Cook]

It's true there are some beautiful girls on this forum, and sometimes I'm envious. But I don't get my knickers in a twist about it, and I don't feel that I'm in any competition. What I'd like to learn from them is how they did it, and then maybe I could do it, too. I want to look as good as I can, and if it's not as good as others, I can live with that. Beautiful girls give me something to aim for, not to compete with.

I like Annabelle's response. If we were in a beauty contest, that would be one thing. I know that some of us look great, some of us (like me) not so great. When we post a photo, it's both for approval and (hopefully) constructive comments. I look at these photos in the same way I do when I check out what other women are wearing -- what works for her , what doesn't, and what might work for me. I think the same applies to those of us who share our out and about experiences. We aren't competing for who passes the best, or who had the most awesome time -- we are sharing in hopes that others will enjoy reading about them and perhaps be encouraged to come out more.

[KrystalA]

Why try to compete with anyone? I crossdress for myself. Well, and my SO. She loves seeing me en femme.

[Tina B.]

I'm 67 years old, fat, and bald, so you win! But fortunately I've never had a completive bone in my body. Sports where fun, but everyone was so busy trying to win, they forgot to have fun, so I gave it all up, I never cared for gambling either, winning just is not that big a deal for me, and the loss of money hurt, so why play. I sure don't compete with anyone when it comes to dress, as I am a closet dresser, and dress just for my own pleasure, and need not meet anyones idea of feminine but my own. I do love it when I get an unsolicited your cute, or that looks good on you, from the wife, but it's not a matter of competition, it's flattering.
Tina B.

[PretzelGirl]

Sometimes competitiveness is a subconscious thing. I don't think I am being competitive, but who knows. What I do know is that I like to look at the pictures and read the knowledge of others and gleen improvements for myself if it fits into who I want to be and how I want to approach this.

[kimdl93]

I would agree that each of us compares ourselves, consciously or not, with others. But I would also agree that I don't compete with others...if anything the comparisons are a way to improve myself.

[Kaz]

I'd like to say I am not competitive - I am not a sporty sort of person - but as a guitar player I am hell bent on being the star and not the 'also ran'. Here it is more about learning and getting better at being me I guess. I do try hard to look good as it is important to me and that's why I post pics... for constructive feedback (and also a bit of showing off if I think the pic is a good one! ).. BUT...

When I see a pic of a really gorgeous girl here I am so jealous! Is that competitive? Or is it jealousy? I know I don't have the age or the looks to be a full on glamour queen, so I am not competing as such... but I do have these strange feelings that cause me to think about upping my game!

[Jessica86]

I don't compete either. All women have something about them that sets them off! Every single one! We do too! I haven't seen a picture on this site yet of a so called "ugly" girl. There is always something nice to point out, and if we were all the same....who would look? That's the fun!!! I know I'm freakishly tall, and a bit on the heavy side in my love handles (I think I'm fat at 190 lbs being 6'06" and my wife HATES I think that.) Then again, I always get compliments on my hair, eyes, and how long my legs are....so I just compete with my self to bring my best features forward. I can't fix what I don't have, or have too much of....lol...but I just deal with it, and strutt my stuff just like the song!!!

[Crissy Kay]

A very interesting subject!! As I see it, most members here try to support each other. We react here, pretty much the opposite of how we are in male mode with other men. As men we are taught to get to the top by any means, and crush any man that stands in your way. Here, we get to leave all that behind, and act as we belive women should act with each other.

[Melody1985]

Thanks for all the great replies here. This was definitely a subject that I have thought about for a while now, and it's good to see a good mix of ideals about the level of competitiveness we have.

Later

[Sophiewouldbenice]

I like to see pictures of other, to see what is possible and to get some ideas , also it is nice to get an idea how the others run around outside - but by trying to improve my en femme appearance I do not compete, you can only improve yourself for yourself, here is no gain or price to win - probably there is one, self confidence, but thats not competition.

And by the way, here are so many of us with different goals for there life, appearance and gender - cannot believe that there can be any real competition if the goals are different - but as I wrote there is also no sense in competition from my point of view

[MarcyHunter]

Gone cottin choppin.

[Annaliese2010]

Too tractd 2 othr girls.. rathr make luv thn war...sx trumps bichiness i guess lol...

[Lynn Marie]

[SIZE="4"]Yes, we compete with one another. It amuses me just how competitive we are even though we are attempting to emulate females. Personally I try to avoid competition in drag. Got way too many male attributes that are just too damn hard to fix or cover up.

On the ecouraging side, I do feel that the better side of our nature does make an appearance when interacting with other CDers looking for our approval. Everybody needs a little encouragement, and we may need it more than most.[/SIZE]

[eluuzion]

I think it is important to keep things in proper perspective…

“It is not whether you win or lose,
It’s whether I win or lose!”

“I used to be extremely competitive, but I have mellowed out with age.
Now I just want to win.”



This is a great thread, as I was recently having a similar discussion about this topic with a friend of mine… (Charlene Darwin). Relative to “physical attractiveness competition”…here is what we came up with…

Competing through physical appearance may be just another one of those evolutionary based behaviors that continued on through time on an unconscious, instinctual level. It was a critical function for Wilma Flintstone, when a woman’s ability to survive and reproduce depended upon her ability to attract a superior mate. (The best hunter with the biggest club, lol). Youthful appearance and good health improved a female’s chances of attracting a good provider and protector. You know, the old theory of…“survival of the titty-ist“, err…uh…I mean the “fittest.”

Youthful appearance, facial symmetry, body shape…waist-to-hip ratio (WHR) etc. and similar issues are still primary factors influencing the determination of female “attractiveness.” Cosmetics, plastic surgery and all the body “enhancement” paraphernalia are just adaptation strategies to appear more “attractive”. The more physically appealing attributes you can display (over your “competition”), the better you will potentially fare in society.

So, there ya’ go…one (evolutionary) “theory” for physical appearance competition. It does require a stretch…but if you squint your eyes…you might see two areas of applicability (competition) on the forum:

- “Who” is “passable”…and… who is “the most” passable.
- “Who” is the most “authentic” representation of a “genuine” CD, TG, TS, TM, etc.

I am not suggesting any of these issues represents dysfunctional or vindictive behavior on this forum. I am just sharing some personal observations (of typical human social behavior) on the forum that I find quite entertaining.

For the record…I am impressed at the forum’s (aka…moderators’) ability to maintain an overall supportive and respectful environment for all of the members. Pretty amazing when you consider the size.

Am I an innately “competitive” person? Yes. But just like everything else, sometimes “competing” makes sense…and sometimes “competing” would be engaging in nonsense. With all due respect…for me…competing for physical attractiveness is nonsense. Particularly on this forum, where honest representations and “genuine” identities are unverifiable, as well as being subject to the influence of tools like photo-shop, .

Heck, for all I know…some of you here could actually be guys, which are just pretending to be girls!

[Jenny Doolittle]

Interesting question and observation.

I look at those that come in here as friends I just have not met in person yet. Obviously we all have a common bond. We are not in competition with each other and we do have a common enemy of sorts, those that are too closed minded to accept us.

I have over the years heard of what others have done to gain confidence and have emulated them, doing many of the same things such as getting out on my own. The makeup tips are always something a girl can use to improve her self image. Hearing the pitfalls of others has certainly helped in my own journey to being accepted as Jenny.

I guess the main reason I come here is to enjoy the companionship of those I share a bond with that most don't understand. I want to help others to avoid negative experiences within their own family and friends, so I share my own experiences and let them do as they wish with their own choices.

Lastly, Now might be a perfect oppertunity to say, "Thank you" to all those that I have helped me though tuff times and shared in my own growth. "I love you all for the help!"