How many go out, and where?

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Jess,

Like you I am a member of a support group (River City Gems in my case) and their events are a mix of both public and private events. I also go out with my wife just to do things together. I go to pretty much most places "Joe Public" goes. Things like movies, bars, clubs, restaurants, a play at a theater, museums, shopping at the mall, grocery shopping, cycling, Ive even been bowling en femme. I've never been to a ball game en femme but that's because I don't like sports rather than anything else.

Once the "going out genie" is out of the bottle there's no way she'll ever go back in

[JessHaust]

Now, I haven't gone to clubs (don't dance),

I don't dance either, but the gay/lesbian clubs are kind of 'safe zones'.

[Elana]

I've been starting to go out more often these past few months. Some outings have been to a local CD social club called Carla's around my area, a few up in the city, one time shopping, a few times going to dance clubs.

[kellytea59]

I'm very very in the closet. There are just too many people that would be hurt if I came out. So I only dress while out of town over 300 miles from home. I've gone out it Boston , New York, Las Vegas and Portland. Loved it .. I felt so free.

[Paula T]

Darn near every week at least once to a gay bar where we are welcomed and treated extra nice. I usually shop a couple of places before I go to the bar. I went to target and Payless shoes last thursday.

[JessHaust]

I'm very very in the closet. There are just too many people that would be hurt if I came out

Of course I don't know you or any of the people who would be hurt, but in my experience, and those retold many times on this forum, is that people can surprise you. It is really amazing the capacity for understanding people have. Espesially those who love you.

[Missy Tanya]

Been going anywhere I want to as of late. Still many first for Tanya, but she is taking one off almost every time out. I've found if you present yourself with confidence, looks don't mater as much. Lucky for me!! lol

Just hold your head up, smile when eye contact is made, and be polite and courteous as your mommy taught you, and enjoy the fresh air.

Tanya

[docrobbysherry]

I think about it all the time, Jess! I think how lucky I am that no one forces me to go out dressed!

I look at Sherry in the mirror. When she's half dressed in a stripper/belly dancer outfit. And, I think to myself, "Yes. I definitely want to change into some shapeless, boring, brown, age appropriate granny outfit, go to the mall and hear folks laff and make snide comments. And maybe, run into one of my daughter's teachers!"

[JessHaust]

I think about it all the time, Jess! I think how lucky I am that no one forces me to go out dressed!

I look at Sherry in the mirror. When she's half dressed in a stripper/belly dancer outfit. And, I think to myself, "Yes. I definitely want to change into some shapeless, boring, brown, age appropriate granny outfit, go to the mall and hear folks laff and make snide comments. And maybe, run into one of my daughter's teachers!"

No one will ever force you out honey. But I think you would be surprised at the lack of those expected laughs and snide comments.
I felt exactly the same way before I went out, and it was an exelerating feeling when the first group of people walked past me without the slightest responce.
You have to do what you will do in your own time, but I hope someday you will get to feel the excitement of going out.

[nikitataylor0210]

After 2 years of getting dolled up, driving to a Tg-club and sitting outside trying to muster the courage to go in, I finally bought the bullet and went into one back in 2006. Since then I slowly progressed from Tg-only-clubs to gay/tg friendly places, to lesbian clubs, and eventually to restaurants for dinner + straight/gay lounges. Last year, went on a couple of daytime shopping spree's with a good friend (tg) of mine. Loved every moment of it, has made me stronger personally and more confident... I still remember sitting in the car staring at people enter clubs.... sigh...

one important factor , california in general is a bit more tg-friendly, i even escaped a ticket from law enforcement once

[Jenniferathome]

I have yet to go out in a group so, when out alone, I try to confine myself to where a natural woman WOULD walk alone: shopping. That means the mall or downtown shopping blocks. The bottom line is, when I dress, I go out. My wife has promised to go out with me and in that case, everything is open. I can't wait.

[darci.c]

I have for about 2 years now. I think it saved my life.